Snow Bunny Honey

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart...has a new meaning for me today.

2012-01-18T11:53:00.000-08:00

I have always loved this scripture-in God's infinite wisdom He's taught me to trust Him, in the plan He's prepared for me, and endlessly placing me at the right place in the right time. Countlessly in my heart righteous desires have been granted to me in His time and definitely in His way. Man's thinking continues in paths contrary to the way of Father in Heaven and his will for our lives.

The semester wrapped up for my most challenging group of students today. I was sick and almost numb in feeling as they left the classroom this morning. I love them, but not as much as I could have, unconditionally, or inasmuch as the Lord warms us with His embrace. I am on the list for full-time teaching next year, which was a goal I set out to achieve. I should be ecstatic and filled with joy! I am and yet the fear of my inadequacy to love them resides deep within the most solemn confines of my soul. I need to love them with my whole heart and not a partial or conditional love which I've based on many aspects of their challenging teenage lives (sleep deprivation, broken homes, AP classes, college application, peer pressure, rampant pornography, drug and alcohol addition.) They are in continual pull and distraction from the principles and doctrines of Godliness which they have been sent to earth, to search out, analyze, and apply through personal achievement.

I'd been home from the mission less than a month, out with a spank'n new greenie on exchanges, and she asks me what's the greatest thing I learned as a missionary. Almost impulsively I answer, "It's all about the love, it's always been about the love, it's still about the love, and it will always be about the love-there is no greater power in the universe!" In retrospect of the last year of my life I've lost sight of this knowledge and gift the good Lord has bestowed upon me! In October it began to cycle back into my life as I rekindled damaged relationships after a friend came home from his mission. A dear friend of mine has struggled in living her life the past few months, but is greatly rebounding as she serves those around her. I see Him in her and I recognize the incredible power of His love in our lives if we merely just let in His light to shine through our actions.

As a missionary, and now as a teacher, I am asked questions where the spirit refrains me from answering anything other than, "Follow your heart, it won't lead you astray!" Yet this is conditional with almost the unsaid clause; if you trust in the Lord with all thine heart, then it won't lead you astray. In the past twenty-four hours I've had a pretty harsh reality check, making my mind mill around in memories of the past year. I had a distinct impression to judge not and to follow my heart in June. Due to my own misperceptions I let some of my most valued relationships go awry through the allowance of pride, arrogance, and doubt, all of which continue to get in the way of my personal happiness.

Whenever I am sick, the Lord takes the time to teach me as I lay in bed trying to rest my body. Over the past few days each afternoon I've come home to take a nap. Today all I could do is lay and reminisce how if I would just TRULY TRUST in the LORD with ALL thine HEART, I wouldn't question, I wouldn't wallow, I would merely move forward to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. Everyone deserves second semesters in life! I'm ever grateful for His loving Atonement that make this all possible.

The Only Synonym for Covenants is Love Story

2012-01-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

The Director of Seminaries and Institutes spoke at a fireside last night. I love this man and his ability to listen to the brethren, teach by the Spirit and follow His promptings no matter where or what audience he is about to teach.

Last evening he spoke of keeping covenants. This has been something that has stood out in my mind maybe about the past 9 months or so...How serious is it that we keep our covenants? What is our accountability level on the covenants we make in this life? What if someone else severely compromises a covenant made that we too have been blessed to partake in?

About two years ago while working at the Family History Library I had a co-worker who was married within the everlasting covenant. She's had children and her marriage ended in divorce due to her husbands chance in sexual preference. This woman is a saint and someday when I grow-up I want to be just like her, she's grateful for ever hardship she's received in this life and they come to her on a weekly if not daily basis. She so kindly pointed out to me as we've talked about marriage and the covenants made there in aren't just merely made between you and your spouse, but with the Lord Jesus Christ. She asked me a profound question, it has brought me much hope in the prospects of marriage even though I tread very leery on the concepts of being with someone forever, she asked when spouses go through a session together, where do they sit in the session? From here on out she let the Spirit teach me and I take great application in what Chad Webb was striving to teach last night.

I worked as a contracted employee last year and when it ended, both parties were very clear that it was over. No second thoughts, tears, hard feelings, or forms of reconciliation. Whereas when we make covenants with the Lord there are always second chances, in fact His mercy extends into 3rds, 4ths, and through seven times seven (Hebrew translation is infinitely many). God didn't design a plan he thought we'd fail in pursuing, on the contrary the best engineers make plans that are fool-proof. What kind of plan do you think our Loving Father in Heaven has made for us? I'm not a parent, but when I am, I want my kids to love home so much they feel comfortable coming home for summer vacations, holidays, sunny afternoons, just to play, talk or share, and most importantly when they feel like there is no where else to go, home will always be a place of refuge from the storms of life.

In teaching seminary we talk a lot about being covenant people, we still to this day may receive the blessings of the Abraham, for we are of the house of Israel. Covenants are a key part of who we were, what we act like now, and the blessings we have in-store and those of a noble birthright. In last conference Elder Russell M. Nelsen told us what the greatest compliment we could be called in this life. I'll let you feel and find it out for yourself:

Be a Covenant Keeper

This is indeed the greatest love story of all time. Everything the Father does for His children is out of Love-the grandest power in the universe! No matter how often we forsake Him and His plan, His Son, and the promptings of The Holy Ghost; they will never forsake and will always forgive us.

Recreational Therapy and the Light of the Lord

2012-01-05T19:52:00.000-08:00

So this will be my second week working as a Site Manager for the YMCA's after school program in Taylorsville. I love working with the kids-they are wonderful and I love watching their lives brighten as they feel loved, encouraged, and validated. It is so rewarding to be with them! They are so brilliant and I know the Lord indeed has saved them for these latter-days! They are definitely wiser and more adept than I was in the second grade. Amazing and I love them so much! It's also an awesome opportunity to work with their parents and see the countless family dynamics and interactions of how various cultures interact and respect each other.

In just the past few days I've learned so very much! My colleagues are incredible and the love they too exhibit their passion for the kids we work to improve their quality of life. It's incredible and I love it-I can't remember the last job, not only did the time fly, but I not only knew I was benefiting the lives of those whom I was serving, but could feel it. I leave there recharged, thrilled about life and have a greater desire to do good in the world in which we live.

It is true they have so much energy and zeal for life, but I feel as though this energy is transferred inadvertently to me and I benefit greatly all in the same. Everyone is a team, working together for the common good of mankind and the last time I worked in such a capacity was the summer I came home from the mission. I loved it then and have always healed the fondest memories of that first summer home. Funny as we allow the world to influence the way we think we feel about things, the further we get from what REALLY brings us true happiness!

Seminary was also phenomenal today! I had a realization of something I learned in college course year before last. This generation in which we live is that of technology, television, and video games. I have realized in spending time with younger children, the best way to help my students is by getting them out of their seats and moving forward into their futures, by actively participating in what will help them pull out the principles and ordinances in their lives, thus in the years to come, they will be pulling out the principles as they immerse themselves in the scriptures. Which has brought me to a new way of getting them to do their journals for next semester. Principles and Doctrines-it all comes back to these-in every aspect of our lives.

Rolling waters cannot remain impure

2011-11-02T02:13:00.000-07:00

I have found new meaning in the phrase, "Keeping on Your Toes." The way the Lord purifies our hearts and hands is the process by which we progress through righteous acts of our individual agency. Oft times I find myself, in the higher mountains and I can't help myself longing to drink from the mountain streams. Now many say it may not be the wisest thing, but my father taught me if you take from the top where the water is continually moving there is little to now chance of the rolling waters to become stagnant and infected with the numerous hosts of bacteria found in the outdoors.

Much like these top waters our lives are mixed with currents, runoff, and changing temperatures. These trials, challenges, and changes in our lives are the very opportunity the Savior uses to beckon us to come unto Him. When we really fully in our faith in Him no challenge is to great, trial to hard to work through, and and change to drastic to find peace within the solace of His care. How often do we minimize the profound affect the Atonement make take place in our lives as we cast our burdens upon the Lord? Do we believe in His great sacrifice, to stand firm in the faith on a daily basis? When do open our mouths enough to share the good news of His gospel with those around us? When we fully appreciate what it is we have been given we pass it along to those who could benefit from His message-the whole of mankind.

How long can rolling waters remain impure? The next time you think of the tide and how hard it seems at time to stay afloat, remember He is there willing to lift you to safety and in the process purify your heart and hands that you may more readily serve Him who is mighty to save!

The Young Men in my Life

2011-10-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

As I drove into work this morning I remember a parallel morning years ago as I drove from the Avenues to the SL Institute to attend a class for returning missionaries. I remember the sun's breaking rays over the mountain side as spiritual inspiration opened upon my mind and it was revealed to me within the hour I would be asked to serve on council at the Salt Lake Institute, not for just a year, but to serve in various capacities and callings in the next four years over firesides for the Returned Missionary Council, Director of Missionary Work, and Sports and Recreation.

Similar to the experience of that morning where I was taught why despite my constant concern as a full-time missionary of why the Lord would continually call me to server in the student areas of Washington State, Gonzaga, Spokane Falls Community College, Eastern Washington, and lastly University of Idaho. In my mind, The Gospel and Good News of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was for families, little did I see the correlation of me recognizing the truth of it as a freshman at Utah State and how important it would be for me in upcoming years to see how Student and Young Single Adult Wards we're to function and be set up. All of my previous mission experience have been an abundant source of knowledge, obedience, and faith promoting experiences which provided me to apply what I learned as a full time missionary.

Serving on Institute Council has blessed my life immeasurably! I cannot even count the friends I have made, the mentors and teachers I have gratefully received, and the foundation I now recognize I will need for what is before me. It helped me to a grow a love for attending classes, the overlying institution therein, and then graduate with a diploma and a certificate. It was by service through the latter-day student association, I fell in love with student wards, my peers, and gave me a greater capacity and desire to serve within my wards. During this same time I've been called to be a visiting teacher, district leader, and supervisor, a ward missionary and gospel doctrine teacher both multiple times, a stake sports coordinator/representative, a temple prep teacher, a mission prep teacher, a family home evening co-chair, and in three different Relief Society Presidencies. Until yesterday I thought serving in Relief Society would be my supporting and saving grace in teaching my students in the seminary classroom-until one of the students asked if we could have "missionary moments" where we learn what are the kinds of questions investigators have...striking me a bit odd...aren't we all eternal investigators in some sense of the phrase? Shouldn't we be? Willing to strive on a daily basis to ask questions and do all that we can to have them answered to the fullest extent?

Who God calls-He has prepared and we must place our trust in Him, that as much as we may not feel adequate He makes up the difference and we become capable, through our diligence and long-suffering, to be who He has called us to be.

It was about the ♥, it's still about the ♥, and it will always be about the ♥

2011-09-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

This has been an awesome missionary week, starting last Friday! Saturday I had an awesome conversation with a friend who recently returned home from his mission over a month now...It was about how in missionary work-the greatest thing we can learn is love, love, love. He talked of his mission in Mexico and the experiences he had with loving the people. He's such a great light to me and helping me remember the things that matter most. The light of our Savior emanates through him and I find myself remembering mission memories as he talks about moments from his.

It made me remember how it almost seems easier to turn off our hearts, build up a fence and lay a brick wall to keep ourselves and what we feel as safe and secure. In reality this is the carnal security we look for to keep out the vulnerability of Christ-like love. For perfect love casteth out all fear, but we must be willing to embrace the risk, and not be lulled away by the adversary and his half truths. There is no greater power in the universe for this is what all other powers, rites, and ordinances are based upon-The Love of God.

Back stepping to Friday in my 5th period seminary class, I had a prized pupil draw a picture of me. Although it was a flattering image it was in the middle of class and he was becoming a distraction to the learning of many others in the class. This young man I've felt impressed to make the class president. This year will be the first he passes and he plans on serving a mission. He is a good young man, with more energy than most, a golden/willing heart, and a love of all man. He's invited his friend who isn't a member of the church to enroll in institute in the same hour he's in. There are many more things which inspire me to appreciate this young man as I do, mostly a few of the other faculty warned me about him. My teaching was evaluated by a brethren from down town. They questioned why this young man was class president; I went into some of his background and began to cry. As I apologized for my tears, they stopped me in my words and stated they were validated out of my genuine love for my students. This is true! I love these students which brings me to my next thought.

I have a three classes I teach: 2 at a high school seminary and a 6th grade class in the afternoons. that gives me a total of for a grand total of 79 investigators in my young teaching pool, that doesn't even count the countless sisters I have in my life to teach, lead, and help them feel Christ's love for them. I never thought I'd have a bigger teaching pool than the 49 on the mission. Where have I been the past few years in my reasoning? This grand idea and recognition of opportunity was just recognized in talking to my friend. Then I starting going deeper in my mind. I'm blessed to work at a private school in the afternoon where my colleagues are again not members, but are amazing and live wonderful lives according the truths they do know and understand. These are all older and much wiser pillars in the community and I look up to them in so many aspects.

Working at a seminary in the morning, my day starts about 4 a.m., am fed physically and personally spiritually in the morning by my personal endeavors, my Lacester, my students, and other cohorts teaching the restored gospel to the youth. Then I move forward and by 10:30 am out feeding others by sharing His light and love. Today my little favorite 6th grader, who claims to be atheist did well on his religion test and even spoke about going back to Jesus Christ's presence escape his lips. Many days I feel maybe as Ammon of old, willing to serve and unable to proclaim all I know until due time. Diligently serving until the time is at hand for deliverance of His word. I've never felt so much physical, spiritual, and emotional distraction-I lay awake most nights tossing and turning milling around ideas that either are distractions or pure intelligence and there seems to be no middle ground. It is all about who I entrust my thoughts, motives, and desires.

Another thing that occupies my thoughts are two other men that weigh heavily on my mind. One will be home from his mission in 3 weeks. He was a best friend before he left and had great expectations upon his return home. I just don't know what to think or feel-it leaves me somewhat paralyzed and I never really thought this time would come. Now that it has-I can't help, but rejoice for I know he will have become one of the best returned missionary there ever will be. It will change the dynamics of my life and I hope I am willing to accept-come what may and love it.

The other man comes back to SLC in December and herein lies other great expectations. Expectations that we live up to our potential-that the Atonement of our Lord is as real as we allow it to become in our lives. We love Him because he first loved us and in the situation I am daily reminded of agency and how this life is a time to prepare to meet God. We must move forward and prepare for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

Dreams that we Dare to Dream Really do Come True...

2011-09-04T23:09:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a dear friends mellifluous voice the evening before last as she played and sang this song for us over the campfire. The lyrics seized upon my mind and I was dumbstruck at the many things we pursue in this life-the things we dare to sacrifice vulnerability and other comforts for are the dreams we end up with when all is said and done.

I've found the things we set off fall by the wayside and those we focus and embrace with all of our heart, no matter the cost, will eventually pay off in the end. It is where we place our energy, our thoughts, and our time when we need not be placing it anywhere at all, that beckons us over the rainbow to the belief and hopes all of our dreams, our righteous ones anyway, really do come true.

As I visited with one of my cool gal friends this afternoon we were talking about how upon the arrival home after a mission people come up with these illustrious plans, goals, and time tables for their lives. This being one of the biggest oxymorons that could ever exist in the lives of recently returned missionaries. Young adults who just spent countless hours teaching and preaching there is a loving Father in Heaven who knows all of His individual children and has a plan for each of us. Why we try to make our own thereafter is more than ridiculous.

I had an interview this week with the man who will in ten months time submit my name to the education board of the church if I am found of stalwart report to teach the youth in the seminary setting on a permanent basis. He asked me such penetrating questions like why I want to be a seminary teacher, for how long, how many times I'd been proposed to, do I ever want to get married, have children, be willing to move out of state to teach on assignment, etc. I answered them all them without skipping a beat and with the righteous intentions of my heart. He used three words to describe me and I agree fully with his assessment: fun, enthusiastic, and passionate-being filled with love.

I have been struggling the past few weeks keeping up working two jobs, masters classes, my church calling, giving quality time to friends, and merely trying to keep my head above water. It is my sincere hope that the dreams we dare to dream really do come true!

The Natural Man is an Enemy to God

2011-08-17T23:57:00.000-07:00

As I was working today I had a insightful, delightful experience of edification brought to my by my principal at Bingham Seminary. We were going through the teaching schedule for this upcoming school year, as I was giving input, we stopped on the Plan of Salvation, or Plan of Happiness. He asked me questions I hadn't really reflected on a while and I acknowledge I will be forever grateful for the time he took from his busy schedule to teach me this afternoon.

What he asked was powerful and may best be pondered upon: 1) What is the overarching purpose of the plan-the end result? 2) What are the most important items rarely discussed or briefly brushed over as the plan is taught to others, or explained by others and my question to him 3) Do men really come into the world with a natural disposition to do evil?

The overarching purpose of the plan is to enable us with knowledge and an ability to set our sites on steps in proving ourselves worthy to going back to live with God, living in such a way we become like Him and then ultimately gain everything He already has. The key here is becoming like him. Moroni teaches, "But ^acharity is the pure ^blove of Christ, and it endureth^cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, ^apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true ^bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall ^cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be ^dpurified even as he is pure." We should live together in love in our hearts that through our actions our hearts become pure. It is then we will know and understand Him, since we have transpired into a being of such caliber.

The items in the plan either not discussed of in briefness brushed over are: 1) The Atonement of our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ 2) Agency 3) The Fall 4)Principles and Ordinances and 5) The Creation. Where would we be without these doctrines taking an active part in our lives? The plan couldn't be fulfilled without each of these integrally working together for our individual and collective good. I can't imagine teaching the Great Plan of Happiness minus these pivotal points of doctrine.

After talking about the plan I had a question that has been brewing in my mind since placed there in June...Are we all really born carnal and devilish? There is a two part answer to this question: Yes-our bodies have a great disposition to do evil. King Benjamin taught, "For the ^anatural ^bman is an ^cenemy to God, and has been from the ^dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he ^eyieldsto the enticings of the Holy ^fSpirit, and ^gputteth off the ^hnaturalman and becometh a ⁱsaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a ^jchild, ^ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." This is one of my favorite verses of scripture, for it gives us all of the keys to fulfill our divine birthright as future kings and queens, priests and priestesses and children of a Heavenly King and being we have the privilege to call Father. The mortal body we were given is corrupt and mortal, it will invite and entice us to go with the ways of the world and take us from Christ and all His plan has to offer-even eternal life. The flip side of the coin is we have our spirit that have now united with our physical bodies. Depending on who we were in the pre-existence and how we are choosing to currently in our lives, we are given power, strength, and direction to not be enticed by that which cannot satisfy. It is all a choice in if we place our bodies in control of our spirits or if we place our spirits in governance over our bodies. Who are you enlisting to obey-I know as for me and my house, or temple, we will serve the Lord.

I look forward to the day of His appearing and hope previous to His coming I may purify my heart, be filled with His love, that I may recognize Him inasmuch as I have become like Him.

Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself! FDR

2011-08-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

I wonder how many have researched out the background and source of this quote. I have seen it used by many, but I think it would mean more to us if we researched the context from whence it came. It was from Franklin D. Roosevelt's first inaugural speech into the presidency of this great nation. It came at a time when many in the country began losing hope they would ever see through the time known as the great depression. It was 1932, in 1933 the bottom fell out and and most of the country began to despair.

I had this thought cross my mind this morning as I thought how my father fashioned a road bike to and from work. It was he that insisted on me finding a love in the great sport of biking. I love mountain biking and down hilling, but there is something many of you, if not all of you don't know. The summer between my 5th and 6th grade year I had was in a biking accident and I'll be the first to admit it scarred me something horrific. Every time I straddle a bike, push on the pedal-I feel it. The fear in the pit of my stomach and I force it out with every pedal I push. My brother got me into mountain biking a few years ago and I was able find a love for trails, however in going to Moab two years ago on a biking trip the slick rock freaked me out enough that I left the group and went off by myself-I just didn't want to slow them down.

I've lived with friends who had road bikes, but until this summer haven't been around so many people with such passion for road biking. My first time going was week before last and as scary as it seemed, when all was said and done I found therein happiness, for "It lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort (also FDR)." I didn't have to go by myself, I had another friend who'd never gone and we had other friends who let us borrow their bikes so we could go.

However, more importantly it's what gotten me to the point of purchasing my first vintage Schwinn road bike this morning. She's a blue beauty, in fact this is what I've named her. Beauty comes in life as we embrace the hard things, not only to learn from them, but change in the face of them. So I will work backwards-Alaina thanks for riding your bike the other night, it made me recognize I didn't need a new bike. My weekend will be reserved for climbing and lovely rides with you.

Cameron, Andi, Dan and James-it's your outward enthusiasm about biking that makes me have a desire to rise to the occasion. I may never be able to go on your extravagant rides and trips, especially after I've seen how jacked up you all come back afterwards. I get enough scrapes and scratches from climbing. :o) Thank you for always inviting me, one of these days I will surprise you and say indeed! Dan do it-my bike was a steal of a deal and you only live once.

Brent and Tiegs thanks for being such an example of what a great family activity it is to be on bikes! Then letting me experience multiple kinds of riding. :o) It reminded me of why I began biking in the first place, as a child I was the kid that rode my tricycle for as long as physically possible-I remember having the seat heightened to the max and my knee caps hitting the handle bars because I didn't want to give up the safety of the three wheels. It kept me grounded and for some reason I didn't care all of my friends were on bikes!

Ian thanks for explaining me enough logistics behind road biking it peaked my curiosity to begin asking questions. It is all about asking questions and obtaining knowledge.

Molly I will be taking you up on your teaching offer in the near future, preferably before you move to Texas! It's so horribly humid there-not nice biking weather.

Overall the purchase I made this morning made me reflect when we are surrounded by those who will uplift, teach, and edify we can then have the courage to place ourselves in scary situations realizing if we fall there are others around us to help catch us, brush us off and help us hop back into life!! Thanks for your love and friendship-I look forward to a fall of fun-filled cycling adventures!

The gifts and talents we are given...

2011-08-16T22:23:00.000-07:00

The other day a sister from my previous ward made some FB comment about not knowing what to do with her studies and formal education. I've had a few years to ponder on this question and only in the past few months solidified I've had the answer all along-well ever since I came home from the mission.

We are given so many talents, righteous desires, hobbies we adore, etc. What do we do with them? Here is an example: one who relates well to children, but in particular children who are extra special. Kids that have received labels in life: those with Asperger's, Autism, Down's Syndrome, and the list is endless. They seem to love me as much as all of the others. I can't help, but feel the reason for this is because I treat them no different. I don't baby or caudal, talk down to, or think myself better than them. They merely learn differently than I do or have different capacities than the "norm" of the population. Who defines normal anyway or wants to be normal?

I work with a darling young man I will call Hen. He has Asperger's syndrome and is one of the most brilliant peeps I have the privilege of associating. He has been the highlight of my summer and brings fulfillment and joy into everything we do together. We've read two books, worked on social interactions, mathematics, and lots of reinforcement through recreational therapy. Today he had a bit of a validated melt-down this evening. Hen had worked all afternoon at a crafts camp, which is mentally taxing on the creative end of the spectrum. He was tired and ready to jet when I came to collect him. It was obvious to me he was thirsty, lonely, and sad. After purchasing a notebook, we started in on fractions. I should have seen it coming-it's amazing how I've had the educational background and work experience to deescalate such a situation that could have gotten out of control very fast.

It was all thanks to the still small whisperings of practices I've been taught academically and seen in action previously. He wanted to shut down, scream, fight, throw things, and lose it. I got very quite versus aggressive and started whispering. Immediately he calmed and within 5 minutes we talked through his frustration of showing his work in math problems, gained an understanding of why it's important, and found real life application and problems to his predicament. It was a great teaching opportunity. Further we talked through self control and why it may be important how others perceive our actions and why communication is key in all the relationships we have with others.

We caught the movie Mr. Popper's Penguins, which we both found to be absolutely delightful! Much better than the "grown-up" movies I've seen as of late. It was a warm and fuzzy movie-we laughed and giggled, he asked question (always feels like a touchdown when this happens!), and we even talked about acronyms for texting; he's a pretty hip bloke! All in all it was rewarding because he wasn't a lump in the theater-it was interactive reinforcement and the conversation is always so intellectual and invigorating-I wish I could say as much for most of my cohorts. Hen and I both have a deep love for animals and in this case birds. We went to Fairmont Park and enticed ourselves to come back and feed the ducks before they fly south for the winter.

I enjoy spending my time with him so very much-it almost seems absurd I will get paid to spend time with him. I guess this is how you know you are in the right spot-when you love what you do so much it feels like you should be paying someone because you enjoy doing what you do so much. It becomes you, it defines you, it allows/encourages you to be the best you!

Neither cold nor hot

2011-08-02T12:02:00.000-07:00

In the Book of Revelations the saints of the church are being rebuked for being lukewarm. Are there times in our lives when we are spiritually lukewarm? How can we increase our commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained, " Those destined to inherit the terrestrial kingdom are those who are lukewarm members of the church and who have testimonies, but who are not true and faithful in all things" (A New Witness for the Articles of Faith, 1985, 146).

In retrospect of a conversation I had last week I am rarely if ever lukewarm-I am always one extreme or another. Unless in an exception I am worried in my decision making process, when I feel one thing, but talk myself into another or not following through on my initial desires place within me by Him whom knows me best. Are you getting hotter or colder?

I began reading the Book of Mormon at the beginning of the summer and am a few chapters away from finishing it cover to cover. In my study I have been pondering and noting actions and the motivators in the peoples lives and conversion. More than anything I have noted it is all about the hearts of the people(159 references in the B of M). If the people's hearts are in the right place-goodness prevails. If their minds or lips are in filled with knowledge that's how far it stops-the front door of the mind or the mouth. When our hearts are involved in our personal conversion process and that of others, it penetrates to the deepest chasms of our soul. Our minds can be a part of this process with our heart, but our minds must be faith filled and ready to believe. Faith casts out fear or doubt which surrounds us in the world in which we now live, there are absorbent amounts of the philosophies of men mingled with truth. We must follow our heart that our minds may resist the logic and craftiness of men (D&C 52:14-20).

May I be as a child of Helaman and apply his words into my heart, "I desire that ye should deny the ^ajustice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his ^bmercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in^chumility." May I neither be cold or warm, but filled with His love that all may have a desire to come unto Him.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

2011-07-25T22:53:00.000-07:00

'Tis true I have been reading the Tale of Two Cities-the soul filled classic about the French Revolution. As in countries when political issues are strewn about in a mess and people that reside therein are in turmoil to settle; we too can be in personal unrest within our own countries or even more intimate, within our very souls.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way (part of the first paragraph, A Tale of Two Cities, Dickens)."

How often do we feel like this in our own personal lives? I know when a trial comes to us or an opportunity for growth comes, I initially see how unfair it may seem and then cause I can't stand misery strive to find the joy in the journey I am embarking upon. What lessons am I to learn from this experience? Are there things I could have done to endured in a way more pleasing? How to apply the lessons, moving forward that I may not need to endure a similar experience or obtain the humility that I am open to passing through it again. I see the great wisdom and love for life in the above quotation. Dickens is striving to open our eyes to the sometimes harsh realities of the soul.

Heavenly Father delivers the righteous desires of our hearts with counterparts to allow for balance and humility, that we may obtain the attributes He has and likewise desires for us. I've been reflecting on my summer and how I can easily see things as Dickens-the good amongst the bad and then live every day with a broader perspective and keep an open mind that I love as my Master loves others, regardless of the ultimate outcome.

I was really struggling about a month ago, I'd been given a job I had been working toward for the past two years. It should have been ridiculously thrilled and overjoyed at the opportunity that lie before me to teach high schoolers who they are and give them a glimpse of whom they can choose to become! Instead I allowed myself to be distracted, and in all honesty I was having the best time of my life. I hadn't laughed or smiled that much since I was a missionary. I was allowed the chance to feel like this because I took all form of judgement and through it out the window. I paid no attention to seemingly red flags and what others in this world may have thought or said about my circumstance. Until I found myself speaking to another about it. I allowed the ignorant judgements of this man to stomp out my heart and many acquisitions of the Christ-like characteristics I'd been working toward.

I acted impulsively upon his requests and despite the mantic impressions I'd already noted, I went forward with his direction and began the experiment invited me to perform. Now I've been in countless labs for both biology, chemistry, and psychology. By far this was the biggest failure and most toxic I've ever conducted-all because people and more importantly their hearts were involved. I met back with him and reviewed the flaws in his experiment. He had been given more information at this time from his family, gotten to know my strength in spirit, and stood corrected on the altered his stance on some council given. Now it is seemingly to late. The experiment an absolute flop, people left off worse than before, and irreversible damage done.

In the meantime, I was given the opportunity to make new friends, broaden my horizons even more of the ignorance that surrounds me, receive and accept an offer in a second job at the Choir School of the Madeline, and accept a call to work with activation within our young single adult ward as a 1st councilor in the Relief Society. It's either feast or famine in life. God knows I do best when I'm broken that He may take me by the hand and give me answers to my prayers. We cannot become who we are meant to be while focussing inward. We must look outward and be anxiously engaged in serving that hands that hang down. It is the best of times, it is the worst or times when we set our focus as such!

Faith-The Choice is Yours

You don't lose at life until you quit.

2011-07-24T02:39:00.000-07:00

A facebook friend had this as a comment the other morning when I woke up on my news feed. I thought, "true statement," and went on with my day hoping he is doing better. The comment made me think, his attitude was in the right place-90% of life is attitude and 10% is what happens to you in life.

This made me think of many other coined phrases I believe to be true and run along the same line, "It isn't over until it's over," "Life is what you make of it," and "When there's a will there is a way!" I had a few habits in high school I desperately tried kicking, when I would ask my friends for their support and encouragement I remember many of them would tell me, "Quitters never win," or they would just tell me it was hopeless to try and change anything. Now almost ten years later I have altered my life in such a way I am who I've always wanted to be, working towards my dreams, and recognizing nothing will stop me or hold me back except those I give the power to do so.

I thought about how I've been able to keep a positive attitude through my trials and test of my faith and integrity. I haven't always been lil miss sunshine (however, it was a childhood nickname.) My freshman year I remember walking home from Chem Lab with my partner and him stopping me in the street and saying don't you ever have anything positive to say? It blew my mind and I instantly recognized Brock's comment as being reality. I could be such a downer and it was my choice. After that year I moved off campus, attended a different ward, hung out with a more mature crowd, and started preparing to serve a full-time mission. My heart began to change and I started seeing how we can sometimes be a victim of circumstance, but we never need to be a victim of attitude. My perspective went from being dealt a hand to making my hand, being given lemons and making lemonade, or my personal favorite, " Seeing the glass half full.

There is a brand of hippie-wear I fell in love with in the last area of my mission, "Life is Good." I became such a big fan because the little slogans are true and happy symbols of positivity paired with a fun picture. Some of my favorites are, "Not all who wander are lost (with a pair of sandals)," or "Breakfast in Bed (a sleeping bag, a skillet, and campfire). More than anything, I bought into the ideal that no matter what, when all is said and done, Life really is Good!

What are 5 good things in your life? What are 5 things you can do to make someone else's life better? Why is it important to remember Life really is Good?

I took my lil HenHen bowling last week after he worked on summer schoolwork for 2 hours. Poor guy, my heart was hurting for him! He was such a trooper and kept pulling though in his journalling. Regardless, Hen has a hard time letting others win at games, not being upset about winning, and then when things don't completely go his way he wants to "throw in the towel" and be done. Well if I let him go on in such a way, he will have a less productive school year, won't make as many friends, and life will seem a little more dark and gloomy than his Asperger's already presents it to be at times. I won't have that-life is already challenging!

I pre-cursed bowling by telling him I would most likely beat him at bowling. I gave him the advantage/choice of bumpers, a lighter ball, and even first go. During the game we focused on sportsmanship and how even if he didn't knock down any pins we could still give each other high-fives, have a good attitude, and keep moving forward in the game. He did better than I thought he would at losing. He loathes losing and seemed to brush it off quite well, we talked about our actual scores after each frame and in the first three frames he was winning, but I knew once I felt the spin come into my throw, it was over. I was overwhelmingly impressed with how well Hen went with going with the flow (as he calls it). Not only did he embrace his loss, but he was able to find joy in the journey, and said within seconds of leaving the parking lot, "That was a really fun game, thanks for taking me!"

How often do we thank our creator for the incredible ride we call life and His assistance in our ability to keep a proper outlook and eternal perspective? I hope to be more like Henry and an aforementioned other's opinions on the span of life and find the gratitude in remembering taking it one day at a time and making it can be refreshingly invigorating!

I found my Christmas pickle shattered to smithereens this evening and felt quite dismal as I thought about how that was one of my prized tangible possessions from my mission. I don't normally get sad about things, but this had memories attached, my first Christmas in the mission field, Leavenworth's amazingness, and time with Tiff Brown. Then a few hours later instead of thinking on the dismal I thought of taking Fall break and talking my darling companion into going back to the mission for a trip for-it made the pickle busting not seem so bad after all! Plus proves my theory, you can find something positive in anything...that's right anything! It's called the glad game-thanks Polly!

Bridle your passions- a scripture study

2011-07-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

o this blog in case you haven't noticed is about thoughts I've had during the day either inspired by my scripture study or just real life situations that turn me to doctrines I've studied. Last night I was swimming with at a buff man's pool and I would like to dedicate this post to him (I've never dedicated a post Wils, just so you're aware how special you are!!). For it was teasing by him that made me come up with the topic for yesterday's doctrine and it's application to life. Thanks for the inspiration and place of peace you provide when you invite us over to swim!! You have no idea how much I love being in water-it's a passion of mine!

I am a very passionate person for those of you who are new friends of mine and maybe not quite gotten to spend enough time with me. My largest passion by far in people-if I can do anything with people, I'm 100% in! I love people-it was a passion I developed as a missionary and it' sone that may even get me into trouble at times. I would much rather spend my time with people that doing anything else; with a close second of anything athletic or outdoors. A few of these passions are: snowboarding, rock climbing, hiking, swimming(Thanks for helping feed the monster Wils!), camping, soccer, sailing, ultimate, softball, volleyball, the list could pretty much go on forever...

This brings me to moments of reflection in my life when I've been driven by passion and pleased the Lord or others whom I love. Alma 38:12 We are blessed in our desires and even our passions that we may build His kingdom and establish Zion-this is where the passion for me fellowman comes from. The prophet Joseph taught, "A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race." I love God and hence He's filled me with this passion to love His children and want to take an active involvement in each of their lives. James 5:17 We are all subject to passions-it all about what we do with them, if we use them for good like Elias or if we allow them to be detrimental to our progression. What are you doing with your passions? How can you use them to build the kingdom?

Despite popular conversations I don't read my scriptures all day, just for part of it and even then there is a balance or a bridle. I may be a nerd for it, but I love what I love because I have a desire and innate ability/talent to "devour" the scriptures and then assist others in finding the same love for them I have acquired through their study. Where are you in your personal scripture study and what can you do to make them more effective, spiritual, and a blessing to your day? Figure it out and make it a little bit better than yesterday!

And then there was light

2011-07-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

This evening as I was sitting back between friends watching the fireworks in the night sky I sat reflecting on what attracts us to light(s). There are always audible comments made about the fluorescence, sparkling, and breath taking glory of fireworks as they are displayed in their grandeur. I sat thinking about the countless fireworks I sat and viewed sitting next to my dad as a girl and into my early teens. It was something we thoroughly enjoyed together. Why did we love them so much? What makes us ooh and ah in the spectacularity of the moment?

I was brought to remember a talk given by Elder Uchtdorf on light in the 2006 Christmas devotional. He taught how we are naturally attracted to light, hence all of the lights at Christmas time and the warm glow they produce, which we are naturally drawn towards. As I sat and thought back to his words I reflected on how the things I love usually have something to do with light. My favorite season is summer-you can feel the glow of the sun on your skin and for me it warms my soul, it makes plants grow, it rotates the earth, there are so many things the sun does with His light.

Then I started thinking how people actually possess light, this light is made manifest through the soul. In ways like our smiles and the sparkle that gleams in our eyes and overall countenance. We are attracted to all kinds of light, yet we must be careful for much of the light the world tries to force on us, is temporary and will not bring the lasting light of Christ. Thinking of the brightest places of instant gratification in this world, those lights will fade out and we will be left with nothing except a void. How easy for me it would be to get sucked in and watch a bright screen of TV as one after another movie is watched, hours spent playing video games, or even too much time spent doing things of no worth on the computer. We must manage our time well that we may in turn fill our souls with lasting light. It is so easy to do, if we are not careful and I see nothing wrong with any of these activities on occasion as long as they are done in moderation and in order. May we find the light and fill ourselves with His-the kind that lasts, that fireworks may burn deep within our souls!

It really is all about the HEART

2011-07-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

In recent weeks I've found myself questioning if I do put my heart too much into things and not enough logic or mind in what I think, say, and do. After much reflection and study I've concluded this to be completely and utterly false! Yesterday was the icing on the cake for me as I studied in the morning the words of Nephi in the fourth book, first chapter.

He teaches about the condition of the people and repeatedly about their hearts, "Surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God." Why were these people so happy? "There was no contention in the land." Why was there no contention in the land? "Because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people."

Within 16 years after these statements were declared Iniquity began to abound exceedingly. Why? "Because of the power of Satan who did get hold upon their hearts." The chapter goes on to relay the message of the people's hearts hardening regardless of the miracles performed by the three Nephites, Christ left to minister among them. What keeps our hearts soft, supple, and full of faith in His redeeming love like the three Nephites and other covenant keeping members of the church? "By the power of the word of God, which was in them." Gatorade used the slogan, "Is it in you?" Now I ask you as I've been asking myself? Is it in you, but I'm not meaning some thirst quenching Gatorade. Is the power of the word of God in you; enough that your heart is changed and that you no longer have a disposition to do evil, but to do good continually(Mosiah 5:2)?

That sums up my weeks of questioning and wondering if it is all about your heart. If we want to be the happiest and most righteous people under the heavens there are 10 references given in the standard works which truly testify it is all about your heart!

Doctrine and Covenants 4:2

Doctrine and Covenants 11:19

All about your HEART by Mindy Gledhill

The Ultimate Game

2011-07-12T03:52:00.000-07:00

Last night after FHE I was invited by some guys to play some ultimate at Sunnyside. I love ultimate with a passion, much like soccer one runs up and down the field making passed with the "bee" to other teammates with the total allowance of three steps while in possession. My roomie and friend, hadn't played until last night. In teaching her how to play the game I found myself become extremely prideful and competitive. With two busted thumbs it's a little on the rough side to throw and catch (they were throbbing by the time the game was over). My point is...I taught my friend to play and even though her throwing is much less than par her teammates made up the difference, catching her crazy passes and throwing her short and precise tosses. They made her look like a freaking all star and man was my ego killing. I could run circles around her, which you're supposed to do in order to block passes and catches. I found myself striving to aggress and intimidate the very being I was trying to teach and love.

Half-way through the game I could feel the monster of competition building inside me and I was debilitated at the fact I'd taught this chic to play and now she was trying to kick my trash-I could literal feel she and my pride in collision. She's been the learner most times along the way, but last night as I got ready for bed I recognized the roles had been reversed for the evening and I was to learn not to be a prideful jerk and be fine with those I teach excelling and doing better than I can even do at times. After all isn't this the whole purpose in teaching and obtaining various forms of glory? Oh wretched woman that I am..sometimes my heart exclaimeth...why can't I just be better than I am?

Damned if I do and damned if I don't

2011-07-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to be damned? I grew up thinking it meant one was going to purgatory or hell. I have come to appreciate the saying more this year than I have in my life. I'm an optimist through and through, yet in recent weeks I've felt totally deserted and more confused than ever before. I have my dream job-teaching seminary, dream location of living (a garden, close walk to the U, friends in the neighborhood, a best friend for a roommate, best ward ever), a sister here in SLC w/ two darling kidos and a doggie, another job working at MCS with a my darling Hen, my health is a billion times better than last summer and I'm enjoying hiking, camping, sports, running, and even getting back into biking this summer! I'm working towards my life's dreams and goals again! On paper life is ridiculously great and yet I am left feeling unsatisfied-like there is something out there I am missing.

I think the last time I felt like this was when Mick came home early from his mission and his Bipolar had taken over how he viewed others and even perceived himself. I had put my whole heart into serving him, his family, and him doing well on his mission. It flopped and I recognized I wanted nothing to do with any of it after a month or two, but the pain I felt was that of the most exquisite heartache. It was the perfect distraction-him serving a mission allowed me to magnify an institute calling, care for my g'pa, learn to not set my heart on the things of this world, and grow in ways I could barely comprehend at the time. Yet, I remember feeling the same way-damned if I do and damned if I don't!

I am left to ponder upon the words of a pseudo father, "Sarah whatever you do you will do it well; I've never seen you do something you haven't put your whole heart into. It is really all about your heart. When your heart is His, He will use you time and time again. People ultimately feel the goodness of Him in you and they wanted to remember His love in their lives. The downfall I've experienced is getting a big head about it and floating away in personal arrogance and pride. I am no better off than the Nephites of old as they thought they knew better than He who created them.

I had a dream this past weekend where what I personally wanted wasn't in alignment with what the Lord wants. This guy I know and I were on missions, he in a three-some and I in a companionship with my companion going home. As she and I waited for her parents to come and pick her up, she slept on the couch and I went to study. He and his companions shared our pad and for some reason I went to hug him and he pushed me away with the arms length line, holding his ground. This was followed up by him stating, "You and I are serving different missions here." I was so bummed I took my books and went to study by myself in the bathroom. Slightly random, yet I don't ever dream, but when I do they are vivid and I remember almost every color hue, persons face, and other details. I woke up having a greater understanding, what I wanted from this young man wasn't what he was supposed to give me at this time.

I'll I'm really seeking is for salvation and exaltation. Knowing the tender mercies of the Lord, I'm going about it the wrong way, looking in the wrong places, or in the wrong time. I'm still unsure which, but am certain of one thing-when the stars aren't aligned or in reality when His will and ours aren't aligned accordingly, with patience and long-suffering, we may be led to feel damned and this is a not-so-nice feeling. It makes me want to bust out in rage and divine discontent and say, "Why Lord, what would you have me do? I know what I was supposed to have done differently. May we move on to part two?" I'm satisfied to know I am in intermission, haven't been forsaken, and yet I've gotten the popcorn and soda and just feel as though I am sitting here unduly impatient waiting for the previews to be over and the movie to start.

MIA

2011-07-10T22:57:00.000-07:00

How often do we find ourselves missing in action? What kind of action may I be making reference too? The kind of action that makes life better for those around us-building, laying foundations, loving, and yes most of this requires great effort, work, and sacrifice of what we may want at any given time in our lives.

A week ago BpB got up and said people are given callings to do the things otherwise they may not be so compelled to do. It struck a cord with me and I thought-I have the best calling in the world-teaching-something that comes so naturally to me I could almost do it in my sleep. It's a God given talent and I recognize it as such and 100% grateful. This calling wasn't really stretching me and I find myself sinking into complacency and some forms of mediocrity. I need to be my best self and am really struggling in finding anything to motivate me to be this right now. It's a horrible feeling and I get down on myself even more for experiencing it. Something was brought to my attention a few weeks ago and even more so this very afternoon:

In sacrament this guy got up to speak-pretty sure he is the ward mission leader and everything he said resonated with me so strongly and I felt a strong desire to shake off the dust and stand up for many truths I've been pondering upon the past couple of weeks. I've been thinking a lot about words of a living Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, " Converts need: a friend, a calling, and to be nurtured by the good word of God." He delivered this message in a leadership meeting I attended as a full time missionary in Spokane Valley. The powerful impact has never wandered from the still confines within my soul. Each of us within His church is a convert in one form or another. We all have ups and downs in our testimony, in our obedience, and in our faith. We all rely on the same being for our grace, mercy, and salvation. Likewise we all rely on fellow Saints to lift the hands of those that hang down. Haven't your hands ever hung down? Who was it that came and took you by the hand and became the answer to your prayers?

I was thinking about how we don't need more programs, we need more love, more goodness, more selflessness, and more courage. Meaning courage to do all of the small things, smile and say hello when you pass by others, encourage your roommates or neighbors to get involved in their visiting/home teaching, magnify their calling (to get one if they don't have one), pray, read the scriptures, render service, attend the temple, pay tithing/offerings, participate in Family Home Evening, the list goes on...the list that leads one to happiness in this life and eternal life in the next. If everyone were happy around each other, there would never be insecurity-only hope, love, and faith.

It's amazing how we can feel God's love in such simple and yet miraculous ways! I have friends and family that believe in everything from none to multiple to worldly Gods and yet I know He can somehow reach into their hearts and pull them closer to Him through us-anyone who wants to be a tool (in the nicest of context). It's all about the seemingly little things: a text message, a smile, a hug, words of encouragement, and the list goes on...Once we are converted, go...

What are you doing for someone else to help them feel of His love?

Do you invite others to come with you to activities?

Are you attending the activities yourself?

Where do you hold your daily scripture study?

Is your relationship to the Father manifest in your prayers?

When do you attend the temple and give of other service?

What can you do to forget about your life and give it to those around you?

When you lose your life for His sake then you will find it!

Echo Canyon

2011-07-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

Thursday evening my roomies and some friends went up to a cabin in the middle of the forest for some well deserved respite! What a glorious weekend it was! Not only did we get to spend time away from the rush and fast paced life we live in the city, but time actually escaped us pretty much all together. We stayed up late enjoying each others company with no power whatsoever and slept in later than I can remember doing, probably since the last time I was devastatingly ill. Friday we would have lost track of time all together except some more of our friends we coming up to stay and we needed to start dinner for them. We'd spent the whole day just playing, lounging, studying, and getting to know each other even better! It was awesome and for the first time since I was in elementary I stopped wearing a watch around my wrist. I am usually lost without it, but I'm testing out doctrine taught by Elder Maxwell, we are complete strangers to the earthly concept of time. This weekend proved it to me-we driven by the concept of time due to our cultures and competitive world. We push and we push ourselves and for what to fit more time in the day, week, or month.

This past week has taught me to embrace each new moment, pay attention to whom I'm with and give them my undivided attention. Quality time is so much better than quantity time. Listen and focus on those you are around, don't be distracted by the business of life or the technology that may frequently surround us. When I came home from the mission I refused to get a cell phone for the longest time. Once I did, I would leave it home with me as though it were a land line. I did the same on this trip, we didn't have service anyway and when I got home there were 17 missed calls and plenty of missed texts-slightly bordering on phone insanity. This yields me the amazing realization that I don't need my phone as often as I've convinced myself I do. In fact when I am with my family for Sunday dinner, anyone close to me knows I leave it either at home or in the car. Family time is precious-there isn't enough to begin with and I am not going to sacrifice that for anything else.

The pressures we place upon ourselves with always being available and accessible to everyone and their dog. As we drove home this evening I felt a sense of renewal, love, self, and overwhelming calmness. We clutter our lives with so much and then wonder why people have breakdowns, are all hyped up on anti-depressants, or even ulcers so prevalent in our lives. If we focused more on what we do with our time: with whom we talk, serve, love, play, or even give of ourselves, we would find an overwhelming amount of fulfillment. I was thinking about why I love the thing I do, whether it's hiking, climbing, boarding, biking, running, walking, fishing, singing, etc...it all boils down to-with whom I am doing what I'm doing.

Why do we spend our time in doing that is of little or no worth? If we aren't working on furthering or nurturing a relationship with another child of God, is it worth the time we invest? I will boldly declare, if it doesn't help another in one way or another, it is not worth our time, effort, or self. We are to be builders for that is why we've been saved for this time. To deny the distractions of this world and look forward to a much better world. As much as I love technology, it can be to our detriment. May we do all we do out of our deep love for Him, thanks for the time away and the natural beauties found therein.

Earthly Education…a large serving of humble pie.

2011-07-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

In institute I was reminded how this life it a time to prepare, not only to meet God, but moreover striving to do all we can to become like him. I was brought to a visual picture of the earth being our classroom and, the good Lord, the teacher. We can either excel in this life, doing well with our experiences, or continually having Him say redo across the top of our assignments and then back to the drawing board until we get it right. His grading system is perfectly just and full of mercy, endless amounts of do-overs until we get out of it what we need in order to obtain the qualities of a saved being.

Recently some harsh lessons I’ve been learning are in large part for my own personal humility. I find myself willing to take the hand of others or even allowing them to carry me, both in the mental and physical sense of context. I’ve always been the one caring for all of those around me- my sisters, brother, grandparents, and friends. I’ve always been placed in the situation to be the strong one and not really allowing others to serve me. My roommate is the best example of service I’ve ever known and a few exceptional others placed around me. Her dad is one of the handymen around the house and comes to town and takes us to dinner. Lace reads me better than any female I know, it’s such a blessing to have someone to open up to and trust.

I had a mentor type example placed in my life the beginning of May and he is very abrupt and blunt in our conversations and I love him for his constant care, critical council and adamant advice. He teaches me straight and undiluted, he sees me as his daughter and treats me as such. BpB doesn’t take my crap and makes faces at me in front of his cohorts and colleagues, slightly obscene gestures for a public figure, but that’s alright since everyone watches everyone else anyway. He watches me at activities and then encourages me to keep being an assertive member of my community and lifting the hands that hang down. What a great blessing in my life!

Another is the chance I’ve had to open up my heart! My best guy friend, we’ll call him CC for short, taught me trust like I’ve never known, or at least not in the past 16 years of my life! He was so open and honest with me upon the beginning of our friendship, it’s taught me it literally hurts the heart to be that open, but when all is said and done, there aren’t really any regrets from it! He’s taught me to be absolutely alright with my open dirt surfing hippie self, less judgmental of others and their circumstances and to embrace awkwardness. There is so much good mixed in with the tragedy and innocent suffering of life. He’s helped me have greater compassion and love for my fellowman and in breaking down my walls I’ve found the greatest amount of love in my heart for him. I’ve found I am really good at being rude, mean, and generally unkind when I feel vulnerable and in allowing me the blessing of sincerest love, it leaves me wide open for absolute tragedy and the vastest vulnerability I’ve ever been placed in. Since this recognition has occurred I’ve begun trying to implement more proactivity versus reactivity in my life.

We are here to act and not be acted upon. My goal for the rest of the year is to be Proactive, not reactive: And Sarah suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. It’s a tall order to fill, but as I pray for it-all things are possible with His help! After the best teachers give you what you need when you really need it.

Duct tape your mouth shut!

2011-07-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

Tonight at softball-I was catcher and also played third base, getting at least three outs and stopping two runs. We ended our winning streak and I lost it on the EQP tonight as he was criticizing my batting strategy from behind the fence. Funny thing...he strikes out at least once a game and I've never have as of yet, I've always made the runs, just wait for the right pitch to give me the time to make it to first and maybe round to second. I'm an encouraging and supportive player to all of our teammates and even at times the opposing team members. The last two weeks I've been catcher because I've been running in the morning and my shoes are to small giving me more blisters with every passing day (today I did 5.4 miles in flip flops and still got a blister!) After I took a base for my waiting on the pitchers 3 balls, I went back and threw the bat at the fence towards the EQP (I had a runner, who can't bat and were the perfect pair cause running on dirt in flops isn't my fave). He was grinning at me and I let him have it more than I've let anyone have it in years. I told him, "He better shut his mouth, cause next week I'd be bringing duct tape and I'd be using it if I heard anything critical out of his face!" Bp was standing right next to him and nothing was said, just glances of seriousness exchanged.

I don't get why people here associate callings with capability or capacity. In church on Sunday, the spirit testified to me the reason I needed to be called as Relief Society President is because God places us in callings to teach us skills and attributes we may not gain any other way. Not that we are amazing or spectacular saints being called to positions of grandeur or aspiration, He calls us in our weakness and qualifies us for the work. If we all acted out of our own free will and accord to the best of our ability there would be no formal need for callings in the church. We are all just the little guys, no calling in the church is better than another. It's some whacked Utah status quo to have this or that calling...wild!

Regardless of who said the comments for there were others sassing players, and here I am sassing Andrew, maybe he had a hard day at work and I should have responded to him with empathy and love? I know I should have... however it brought me to a further reflection of what's been on my mind most of the day-a need to be proactive and not reactive to life's happenstances. Covey covers this in his literature and I know it to be true. Positivity, encouragement, and charity are the way to others feeling God's love through us. We need to always strive to lift where we stand and be builders of the kingdom. Not build up personal walls to keep us safe, but if we have a focal point on building others up, in turn the Lord elevates us to a higher plane than we can yet comprehend. This is where the principle of forgetting yourself and going to work comes into play...I will bring duct take next week, but I will most likely use it, asking Andrew to tape my mouth that I remain positive and proactive and for anyone else in need. Better yet maybe to tape my flops to my feet so I can run the bases in them!

Validation and Bouncing on the Bed

2011-07-04T00:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight at dinner we discussed a short movie called Validation. It's incredible to recognize how influential the validation of others can be. Interesting enough, we have those in our lives who increase our self-worth by their kind words, recognition, and love. We can either chose to be those people of incredible impact or not. The choice is ours for the taking! Sometimes we do all we can to uplift and edify another person directly, yet try as we may, we lose the light at the end of the tunnel and ultimately lose hope. No matter what, no kind deed, word, or thought is ever wasted as Charity never faileth!

TJ Thymes is amazing in this short film with his heart-felt message of love, smile, and hope. I love his soothingly satisfying sounding voice, fantastically fun fusion of hair, breathtakingly bright blue eyes, and the enduring endearment of his character.

This is a must see:

Validation

This being said I must admit the highlight of the evening was bouncing on Mike's amazingly soft bed. Although I think everyone was in shock at my follow-through. When I said I wanted to bounce on the bed I meant it! Previous to my jumping we piled 5 chics on his Tempur-Pedic queen mattress and pillow-top. Then I politely asked them to leave so that I could jump in the bed in my dress. Thanks guys for allowing me my childish requests of innocent fun! Will you please post pictures so I can add them to this blog. :o)

Nothing to Fear Except Fear Itself

2011-07-03T07:49:00.001-07:00

Yesterday a bunch of us went to Lagoon, another estro fest, and had a great time! One of the objectives of my day was to assist my friend in overcoming her fears. She's one of the "best sports" I know-always up for anything and wanting to try new and exciting things. One of my true adventure buddies, a majority of the time she possesses the world's best attitude! Our lovely Lace is horrified of heights and in passing weeks, I've remembered my own initial fear of climbing and activities of greater altitude-how I initially embraced my fear and now it is something I dabble in the excitement thereof. In my youth, I overcame it by riding the chair lifts, high school cliff jumping off the 30 and 90 footers at Cave Point into Lake Michigan, in college it's been snowboarding, bungie jumping, and parasailing. Regardless your more intense fears can be holding one back from their grandest adventures or happinesses.

In Lace's case, you resolve the concern or issue previous tho throwing her into the lions den. Her faith must be increased to the point there is no room for doubt. Or to teacher her it is her own conscious decision to entertain her fears in heights. It's not rations, it's not beneficial to her longevity and joy (well maybe in the survival of the fittest, but besides the humanistic approach)-I won't be able to take her climbing or boarding this year if she can't face her fear of heights. We worked towards this outcome yesterday and I feel as though we made some very good headway. She made a statement yesterday and I woke up this morning with gratitude and more of a recognizable reliance on some of the gifts I've been given. She said in moments right after the embrace of her fears, "You know it's the Spirit that makes you so good at helping others face their fears and getting over them!"

I concede and would want it no other way. When the Spirit is the teacher, lessons are learned and an indelible impression is made on the mind of the learner to change needed behavior or mind set on a more permanent basis. I find her statement to be of the most absolute worth-my ability and willingness to teach through the Spirit is key in this life. My love, passion, and willingness to do my best to stay worthy of His companionship set me up to use this talent in a much needed capacity. As Elder Uchtdorf pointed out in last conference, "We live well below our means." Many of us have made covenants in this life to dine at the shmorgas board of absolute delicacy and what do we do as individuals with these blessings? Indeed, we need to "get off the sidelines and practice what we preach (or know/believe)."

So the story goes...our dear Lace our first ride of the day was Blast-off and then throughout the afternoon we took the Gondola a few rides where we practiced giving in the control and safety mechanisms we mentally exert to keep us from our fears. Then the very end rides of the day were Re-entry and Blast-off! We practiced and focused on vicarious living-observing others let go of their fears, their underlying reason for doing so, and what joy can come from this journey of embracement. True doctrine was taught as we were able to talk about how much fear and joy oppose each other! Where doubt and fear are...faith and joy cannot be! They are the counterparts of each other and if we are to experience the Heaven's good for us we need to be willing to expel doubt and fear that we may obtain her costliest blessing! Fantastic job Lacey in being faithful and believing and helping me remember the dependance on the Lord for some of His blessings to me!

This also made me think of another experience when one of my best friends went up to Bear Lake for the weekend, to camp out, recreate in nature, and go boating. The only hold up is he was afraid of water...I can't remember how much time he spent in the water that weekend, but I recall a group of our friend took out Trace's boat and eventually he took up the courage to get in the water. He didn't get his feet wet, but fully immersed himself in his fears, embraced them, and was filled with joy! I can only now, in retrospect see how that day has impacted his life for good as he too has made covenants and been filled with a capacity to help others do the same! I'm so honored to have spent so many years with you and look forward to our lasting friendship-based on truth and honesty.

Virtual Reality

2011-07-01T21:29:00.000-07:00

As an instructional designed for the Corporation of the President one of our goals was to make training for the people around the world as interactive as possible. The more hands-on a training is the better and more cognitive the experience for the learner. This is one of the highest goals for the training user experience. During my three years of working here I was able to attend a lecture series given by some of the top instructional designers in the nation. One of them used the computer program, Virtual Life in their presentation. It was what we thought was on the extreme side of the conference as he showed how we could have our meetings, trainings, and team building experiences as a virtual experience.

This being noted, I felt quite validated in cutting myself off from pretty much all video games after attending a fireside given by Elder Bednar in May of 2009:

http://lds.org/liahona/2010/06/things-as-they-really-are? lang=eng&query=bednar+virtual+reality

One of my favorite parts of his teachings was reference to those of Joseph Smith, “We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man, and when cast out by the Savior he asked to go into the herd of swine, showing that he would prefer a swine’s body to having none. All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not."

This talk made an influence on me that I am still grateful for to this day. I do my best to be doing something productive with my time and about the only time I will make the exception for video games is for positive interaction, time on-line to further relationships with friends and family, or teaching and recording purposes, such as this blog.

Last night I had an awesome experience with playing on the XBox with friends! I occasionally enjoy Rock Band and Guitar Hero, I love singing, and rocking out on the guitar, the bass, and playing the drums very much. Dance Dance Revolution and Just Dance are other games I enjoy, but last night I played two games that take the cake...literally I could play them with friends frequently and not feel bad about it. Maybe because they're sports and some of the guys were actually sweating by the end of their turns! Awesome-XBox Kinect Dance and Kinect Sports. Boxing, sprinting, javelin, ping-pong, hurdles, bowling, beach volleyball, discus, etc, and then dancing was more fun to watch others and cheer them in getting their grooves on!! Such a great time and refreshing change of mind-all thanks to our gracious hostesses-Natalie and Ariel!!! Love you both!

Walking ☛ Running ☛ Crawling

2011-06-30T11:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know even where to begin. About a month ago I was walking through life-truly enjoying the casual stroll of it all. A new house, a new job, a new ward, said goodbye to friends from the past 3 years and was ready to move forward with whatever the good Lord had in store. I know life to be 90% attitude and what you make of it and the other 10% of what just comes your way. I was completely content, happy, loved being outdoors by myself, in fact doing most thing by myself, with the exceptions of climbing, teaching, and chilling with my roommates. I was completely satisfied and had come to a strong resolution I wouldn't even think about men and just play the summer away and get back the life I once had two summers ago! I had been previously consumed by school, work and a calling.

Then in the middle of me about to go on a climbing date-which is my passion, climbing not dating, comes this kid out of now where!!! It was kind of like I lost my head and couldn't have cared less about the climb or the other guy any more. It may have been the goodness in his eyes or the intrigue of his smile. To this day I'm still unsure, maybe it was some combo action. Either way something weird happened to me, I dropped my guard, and or the first time since I was fourteen really let someone in! It was the most empowering and bittersweet feelings I've ever had.

I've had people try and explain these occurrences to me, but I honestly haven't felt anything like it. In part I'm sure because I hold back and make a complete disconnect between my heart and head. I can love with my head really easy-it's actually 2nd nature to me. At an early age, I was taught to love by my father, know the doctrine associated, understand the principles and actions behind what love is and most of this can actually be done without the heart, but I must warn you when you finally let your heart get involved it's like a race. One I've seen others run, one I thought was great for them if they wanted to lose their heads and look foolish in front of everyone. It wasn't ever going to be me...or so I thought until now.

I'm in this race, with my hands tied behind my back, unable to use them to propel myself forward. The water stations are only dangerously every 5 miles apart instead of every two and for the first month of the race, water stations were every 1/2 mile! Making the race easy and I felt full and hydrated, giving me much confidence and next to no worries about my twittered behavior. Then my running partner started getting cold feet and talking to runners who haven't trained, either in the best schools or even at all! Runners who don't run or give up because they stub their toes. He loves them so he listens to them, but they don't know me or even the whole situation. I openly admit I don't have a clue about their whole situation either, other than there is some impenetrable bond that won't ever be broken. I actually respect that a lot, just not the judgements and harsh reality this group of friends-is like a VIP club and every other runner wanting in, even the very best must endure the harshest hazing process.

If that wasn't enough, this other old-time runner comes from out of town, doesn't know me from Eve, makes a few harsh judgement calls, and I'm out of even being on the steps of the VIP club, but to the back of the line four blocks down the street! I just got messed...I don't even want the club, just a member, the best member, to come back out and run with me. What does he do? Takes an axe and hacks me at my ankles. Now here I am ready to run and no means even whereby to do so! In the back of my mind I recognize, he has these amazing plans cause I know he saw the trail and was ready to run it too-at the same time I did. It like being in a 5.8 on the richter scale and denying it ever happened.

Indeed I am grateful to have had the experiences I have had. Seeing a family that isn't perfect, but lovely and what I picture as mostly ideal. Allowing myself to open up and it's done wonders for me in some aspects. I'm just seemingly sassy to everyone. I forgot how very much I love being crazy-like hanging out truck doors, late night 711 runs, spending virtually every free moment in the mountains (that was why I came to Utah anyway) But now that I feel free with who and how do I run? Do I wait until he decided to give me my feet back while soaking my ankles in ice? Do I force him to give me my feet and my heart back too? I believe force is unjustified in most if not all cases, or do I follow the heart that I have left, freely give him what he has already, and go shopping for prosthetics? They are doing amazing things with them these days. When running with others I get board and if I don't run then I tuck my head nicely within my shell and wait out the hazard. All of the options make my heart, feet, and head hurt.

Early on in the week I had a training session with the head coach. He told me to crawl along with my feet iced, work on the other things I have been given to occupy my time, love the runner with all his friends and it would all work out as I'd been previously instructed by the coach. The only problem is...I'm not a big fan of placing things on ice. Ice melts, it makes a mess, the flesh runs chill, and there's always a chance of constant ice burn.

Afterwards, I ran into a dear friend who was once an honorary VIP in the club, she gave me some good advice. She tells things like she sees them. Moreover, maybe she calls them similarly to how I see them. She used the example of a dog, which I relate well with, since I've taken much time to love and understand how mans best friend works. If a loyal dog wonders from home and someday will, the confident and educated owner trusts the dog knows where his home is, how much love it felt in her care, and god willing no harm comes to the animal, and they make it to their destination. If it's back home then it's exactly that-home. If not, then it just wasn't meant to be.

Faith is when you believe in someone enough to let them go that they can be who they are supposed to be!

Lots of Laughter and Love...when you lose yourself...

2011-06-30T01:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get to serious about life...there are items of my own genuine concern I feel necessitate such seriousness at times. However, when I set first things first; like I did today by spending hours in the scriptures I felt like I was able to unwind and let loose this evening! I gave plasma this morning and genuinely thought about the recipients and what their needs may be. I got to get outside of myself as a friend of mine is having medical problems and I was able to serve her. Two out of the few things I brought her she couldn't use, but alas I did my best!

Studying in the Old Testament is teaching me so very much! I don't know why we don't love them as much as all the others books of scriptures. I think they are harder to read because we as a scripture reading people have some phobia of long books. What about all the classic literature-they too are over a thousand pages. I was doing fine until I realized everything was going fuzzy and I was about to pass out from lack of food and water. Funny though...today I was reading in my personal study of how we need not take thought for what we need or want, if we build His kingdom Christ will care for us in 3 Nephi 18 (sometimes in giving adequate resources, material items, amazing abilities and talents to employ ourselves through). He cares for us. My roomates father bought us dinner, he fixed my refrigerator, and my Batty came and picked me up and drove me home to our abode.

After the food kicked in I did swell, had an invite to play some outdoor soccer, but declined so I could experience the best home teaching by Kev, ever! Than these lovely new found athletic chicas took us out in this beast of a truck-let me hang out (I still had my seat belt on) the window as we drove, singing at the top of our voices, screaming/cat calling to pedestrians, and we even got in a wrestle with a semi in one 711 parking lot before moving on to another 711. These lovely friend purchased a round of Slurpees and our night was well underway! We planned out more fun nights or dancing, concerts, and sports and now have more sistas of funness in the group!

Then I think the absolute highlight of the evening...A replay of the movie RM, except technically tomorrow, well today, is the last day of the month-anyway he leaves a reception to go and complete his home teaching. The best scene ever is when Kirby is tossing cookies at his teachee through the mail slot in her door and proceeds to tell "Sister Jane Doe" he can see her arm. You know he is bizarrely late and I think one family drags their kids out of bed to see him. Funny to have it a bit backwards. One sister we saw tonight didn't get home from Grantsville until 11:30 p.m. and the other didn't leave work in Bountiful until 11 p.m. Latest visiting teaching of my life and I loved every moment of it! It is such a wonderful blessing to feel how much God loves each and every soul as an individual, their there own little worlds they function within.

This life is to be enjoyed not just endured (G.B. Hinckley) and how can we more appropriately express our Joy than through love and laughter. Until recent weeks I'd forgotten how much I truly love laughing! Even more I love hearing others laugh, most everyones laughter is some sort of expression of love! Before I went to bed this evening I tickled my roommate as she wiggled around on the floor like a worm on a hook. I think she's the most ticklish person I know. You don't even touch her and she's squirming. What if our main goal in life was to help others to laugh, like life more, and love...Can you imagine how wonderful life would really be? I'd wager it's actually called Heaven on Earth. Why don't we focus more on building it today...right now!

My Bishop told me I looked devious tonight! If he only knew I was merely full of joy and excitement and a renewed love for life!

Attitude of Gratitude

2011-06-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

In studying the Old Testament for seminary this fall-I had a realization during my run today! So often we are counseled by His living Oracles to have an attitude of gratitude. One of the reasons I am sure we are taught to act in such a way is much like the Israelites being lost in the wilderness for forty years because they merely forgot to remember the Lord their God. Even though, it was He who made it possible for them to live day to day providing manna. Giving them light by night-such and incredible and obvious source for everything they used and gained on a daily basis and yet they forgot the source from which their blessings came!

If we are grateful and consistently praise the Lord for all He continually grants unto us on a daily basis-can we really forget who it is we rely upon for all that we have, are, and will be? I'm so grateful for the many blessings of the gospel in my life. Grateful for a knowledge that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, Our Redeemer, the Creator, and ultimately a being whom supplies us with the only feasible amount of grace to ensure, if we chose, we may make it back to our Father who gave us life. Everything that is Spiritual is interconnected to our temporal world and vice versa. How great the goodness of our God. May we more fully trust Him and His will and all he asks of us that maybe sometime down the road we may more perfectly understand why He asks us to do all he does.

God is Love and Love is God

2011-06-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

There was a man on the mission and this was a statement he would say with more enthusiasm than I have ever heard! I spent time with a close friend this evening. He and I have been through major trails of our faith together and through it all he's become one of my greatest friends. He listened to me talk about my concerns this evening, asked introspective questions about my thoughts and feelings in a situation I was expressing to him. What we were discussing comes from the deepest chasms of my heart. Oh how blessed I am to have a friend that wouldn't judge in the least or penetrate me with questions for more information than I was willing to express. We sat in chairs for a bit as I joked and asked if he was holding a PPI. We both thought this was funny. He is a good listener, thinker, and the love I was able to feel through him exercising his God given authority was quite humbling.

The direction and love of the Lord we may experience through the service of others is immeasurable! I not only was able to feel it, but it penetrated my heart, filled me with comfort, specific direction, and confirmation of many things I'd already felt and knew. He has been having a hard month, getting close to propose to his girlfriend and yet he was willing to forget and put aside his trials and tribulations that mine may be addressed in and through him. Awesome-God answers prayers and we feel his love through our friends, his angels! Thanks JD!

My long lost love...

2011-06-27T00:11:00.000-07:00

My freshman year at Utah State my best friend Emm and I looked into the Photography classes and programs. It was one thing that bonded us together besides, running, biking, tennis, and soccer. Something we could actually talk about, have opinions about and not be challenging to each other. It was an awesome hobby for me-it became an other form of art for me. Besides the drawing, sculpting, and painting of my precollege experience I had found a love in the dark room, seeing lines, lighting, structure, and the many art forms in the world around us, just there for the shooting, with a camera that is...

I have begun to forget how amazing life looks through a lens. I don't know what happened, it may have been the mission where you take so many pictures that the art forms in them are lost and the time is so much more consuming in catching a quick moment, it can seem more of a hassle and the love and passion for the outcome is lost in the shuffle. Five months after I was home, my shooting camera Pentax 67 SLR was stolen and maybe that had something to do with it too! Either way looking for specs that make a high quality pic and looking for the form in the pictures had begun to escape me view. Funny how we merely need to be around a passion for a brief moment and there it is in our face, ready to return. I took pics this weekend on a not so great camera, but better than nothing and fun to get my mind back in the groove. Friends that let you shoot while doing whatever are the absolute best!

Crème brûlée

2011-06-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried Crème brûlée? In the movie My Best Friend's Wedding, Julia Roberts makes the most idiotic contradiction between Crème brûlée and Jello. Stating that sometimes we just want Jello. This is a hard place to put oneself, sometimes Jello is a refreshing treat;the kind with rainbow layers, concoctions with fresh fruits, or my favorite with cream cheese, fruit, and whipped topping. The latter yielding more of a cream consistency than that of the others. What can I say I'm not the Jell-o gal! Even though I may have grown up on simplistic Jell-o, yet it's not my favorite and I know what I want now and won't ever be able to feel the ignorant blissful satisfaction!

I moved down to live in Salt Lake with my Grandpa Phil while attending the University of Utah. He loved going out to eat, I've never been a big fan, but I saw the opportunity to try foods I've merely heard about in life. One evening, early on in my time here in Salt Lake we ate at Little America. At the end of the meal he insisted I choose a dessert, even though I'm not a huge dessert person, especially after eating a full meal. He persisted and I opted for Crème brûlée. It was like no other indulgence I'd experienced-the smooth and rich delectable vanilla bean flavor and creamy consistency penetrating my mouth was without comparison to anything I'd previously experienced.

It is well known by those I associate with that this is my all time favorite of favorites! I have my own french recipes from France, porcelain ramekins, and even a propane cooking torch to cook the sugar tops on each delicious dessert! There are actually a few different flavors to this lovely french display. My personal choice is made with vanilla beans, some lemon zest, and a fruit medley atop consisting of blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries. I love fruit and milk, or fruit and Ice cream, why would this fine dish differ? Still keeping it simple, but quite the process when making it from scratch!

I still love slushies,ice cream sundays with hot fudge and peanuts, and these amazing cherry flavored wax topped ice cream cone. Yet when I want it real, a taste tantalizing to savor, and make the caloric intake worthwhile; when given the option, I will always opt for my favorite flavor of crème brûlée!

Ode to Love

2011-06-20T02:14:00.000-07:00

Who are you and what have you done with my walls?

I lent you my heart and I'd like it back for some renovations!

You didn't ask me how long you could stay...

I didn't know you would bring guests to play.

I have gladly given you mine, why must you hold back yours?

Oh, the thrill of excitement, the jest, and the touch.

Your whit and the tickle-I like you so much!

As your eyes look into mine I find myself being swept away

To a place I've not been for a while.

When you're close I can't imagine any place that I'd rather be...

Only in your arms having you care and look after me!

The complications of love, how I wish they would flee

In your company of wonderment I finally feel Free!

Free from the sorrow, free from all care, free from the memories

Times in the past I haven't been able to share.

You've given me a chance to open my innermost parts

In this dramatic process I fear you've run off with my heart!

Adele-Make You Feel my Love

Friends or family first?

2011-06-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

Last October I went home for my cousins wedding in Michigan. Growing up we would see these cousins about once a month and because of the geographical distance they would come to our home approximately once a year. Annually I make it to my brother's place in Colorado, this is usually the best rest and relaxation I receive, but heading home to the midwest was the greatest vacation imaginable! It wasn't so much about whose house we were at, how we were dressed, or even what we were doing! It was spending time with our family, those who in the pre-existence we decided it would be amazing to cherish, love, and come here and help each other make it home.

High school was the beginning of a transitional point in my life, moving to Utah and embracing the gospel of Christ, the mission, other callings, and now, by His Spirit, teaching what I've learned and applied to others; my life is in constant transition and change as I progress to become the whom I am meant to be. For the past few years I've had friends to replace some of the roles of my family members. It was a lot less complicated and who needs the extra drama-I have enough to last through the eternities-exactly that-to last through the eternities! I love my family despite our vast differences and views on politics, religion, and a wide array of things that matter, yet not what matters most. As I have been spending time with my friends and their families I long to be with mine and to promote and atmosphere of loving kindness in these important and supposed eternal relationships.

Those on whom you can rely. One reason I've recognized family must be first: when all is said and done, they are the ones who you can call in times of distress, turmoil, and then in rejoicing and good news! A return to the baptismal covenant-to morn with those that morn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort-the love we must possess for our extended family-that of our Eternal Father-the whole human race. Let's look at this family relationship for a moment: Father sent His Only Begotten Son in the flesh to demonstrate His unconditional love for us. We know there is a mother in Heaven above too. Who are their other children? All of the souls living and growing around us. Do we exhibit the same amount of love and care as our Heavenly Parents and Elder Sibling has for us? How do we emulate these superior beings when with our parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews? What may we do to be better? When do we chose to spend time with them-in times of need, joy, convenience, or in consistency?

I was climbing yesterday with one of my sisters (from and another mister), Olivia Macey (Wright). We talked about the very best of friends last throughout the years, and when you have the opportunity and convenience of seeing them, it is all as if no time has elapsed because what your friendship has been based on-some sort of true principles. You have a relationship of love and the sincerest kind of trust. One void of backbiting, manipulation and pride. Looking back the past 10 years I have been given the most amazing friends-those who lift, build, and encourage me to stand on higher ground. Spending time with them makes me want to love my family more than I already do.

When we get back home-to the place of our spiritual birth I want everyone present to welcome me there! Family is something we make out of what we've been given, friends are those we've chosen to amplify all other relationships and be our angels along the way. God has blessed me with so many angels!

Truth be Told

2011-06-03T23:34:00.000-07:00

Truth is how things have been, they are, and as they really will be. The last month has been one of the most intensive life-changing experiences of my life!

It has been heart wrenching, inspirationally exciting, and fills me with gratitude for the tender mercies extended to everyone on a daily basis by the Lord himself. Thank Him for His mercy and long-suffering since the beginning of time.

Heart wrenching: Living on campus was an adventure I was willing to embark on merely because I knew it was the right thing. I didn't initially want to be living at 611 Officers' Circle. I felt somewhat forced through inspiration to go and live here. I gave up nannying by 4 brothers from another mother, my wonderful lil labradoodle, and the comfort of a home in Holladay with a garden plot only this dirt surfing hippie gal has dreamed of my whole life! Not pleased, but trusted in the Lord. Last year the residents in 611 became my very best friends, we served in callings, on student boards, cooked, celebrated holidays, and even still see each other now and again by planning to do so.

This school year was a bit of a different story. I was diagnosed with TMJD last August and went through various treatments, seeing countless specialists, and a triage of medications-drugs and I don't do well together, quite the toxic relationship. However, I had the most amazing people in my life to assist me on a daily basis as I was either unable to drive, stay awake, or even stand up against those who opposed all I supported on campus as President of a student group and the magnification of a calling. The councilors like Kylie, helped me survive by taking over when I would pass out from the meds, Jessica was always there to step up to the plate in planning activities and letting me freely kidnap her (best story EVER!), and Lacey was the shining STAR through it all! My most meek and kind friend. She was so much more than a secretary, but a confident, advisor, and compass in so many aspects of my life. Idaho raises so much more than humongous potatoes! More like the best people ever! I stayed in the house to fulfill roles I would have otherwise struggled in.

In sacrificing for what I'd been called I lost three souls of whom I thought to have been my best friends-the ones you can't imagine heaven without? I had grace extended by many, by moving items, storing items, and providing me with weekend get-a-ways from the stress of my disorder and the various situations I'd been placed into grow. It was a hard year and when looking back I would go through it all over again to gain the experience, knowledge, and wisdom I have been granted. There is so much politics involved in University life and it amazes me how low stress it is to live off campus and be given so much freedom to do as we please. Yet there was a sense of community provided through the atmosphere of locality, many got their mail, meals, and munchies from the same place-creating quite the interchange between neighbors. It was a beautiful place to call my home and like the other missions of my life deserves the title-hood of Home.

Inspirationally Exciting: Teaching has always been a pastime I have enjoyed doing! It runs in my veins, not just a talent from the life before this present existence, but my Daddy wanted to be a teacher instead of an engineer, his siblings are teachers, principles, and super-intendants. My mom's family has the same teaching dynamics going on too. In high school I participated in work-study my sophomore and junior years. I worked in a 3rd grade classroom with Mrs. Eliason, who had actually done her student teaching in my 1st grade classroom at Sunset Elementary while I attended there.

Starting as a freshman in college, I tutored biology and chemistry at Utah State. I love seeing other people get what they are wanting to learn or study. This love was enhanced while serving an LDS mission in Spokane Washington for 19 months. While in the mission field, I recognized and value the capacity teaching has to change and even save lives. Inspired teaching facilitates not only the learner an invaluable experience, but the teacher likewise in the same fulfillment. I came home and thought I would be a nurse, but it wasn't for me, that is a profession for my mother. I love teaching! I love watching others receive light! It is a psychological process wherein if one takes the time to observe the behaviors and physical manifestations of the learning process it is quite obvious how individuals learn. Teaching is an individual matter.

Once home from the mission, I finished up my bachelors and undergrad certificates at the University of Utah. In so doing, I noted the qualities and attributes of acceptable teacher and professors versus the ones with phenomenal talent and ability in teaching. There are many differences, the first and foremost being-HEART. If your heart is in the subject you are teaching the energy provided through your passion becomes contagious and spreads to all involved-yielding learning as a rewarding. It was back around this time I recall enrolling in a teaching seminary institute class. It ended up not fitting into my schedule, but I knew someday I would come to perfect my teaching skills. That Someday began two years ago and since that time I've been working towards become a seminary teacher.

God works with our righteous desires-no matter how much we give up on ourselves, our hopes, and our dreams, He never will. He's planted in our hearts these amazing gifts and talents-we just need to do our part in refining or talents. Even after an insanely busy schedule last semester I was able to teach for seminary evaluation...low and behold...it was good! It was definitely a crunch to fit into my schedule and I believe I'm still a bit sleep deprived from early morning rising, but it's allowed me to realize the sacrifices so many have made that youth can be fed the truth, straight-undiluted. I have been training this week-it has lifted me and I recognize, whether it's in my home, in a seminary, or even an institute. I love teaching about the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is nothing bigger and better than that!

Attitude of Gratitude: We may know that the tender mercies of the Lord are continually upon us as we live worthy and keep His commandments. I am grateful for a warm home I have to live in, to have a sister so close and rejoice in the time we spend together as a family (Sunday dinners, gardening, spending time as Aunti Sari, family prayer etc.), and lately it's been a man that encourages me to think, love, laugh, and to take part in all of the most marvelous adventures life has to offer.

This man's name is Blue. Those eyes are the like the ocean and no matter how great the swimmer or sailer, it is easy to get lost in them...those eyes. His smile lights up not only a room, but my life, there is something deep within my soul that jumps when he smiles/shines and he's always smiling and filling the air with his laughter-it's contagious. There's so much to smile about in this life-I love living and am so glad to be here on earth! Laughter is life's medicine and I think I could live in complete bliss with him as the rhythm to skip to as life's beat. I don't know if I've ever paid attention to such wittiness in an individual-he takes the cake. Blue just simply deserves all the attention I can give him. He's honest, sincere, and as real as they come. He's open with life experiences and I thank the good Lord he's been through what he has so I too can learn and grow from listening to what he sees fit to share. Blue makes me contemplate and re-evaluate...maybe there is something missing from my life? I can't go back to imagining life without him in it, it's as if he's just always been there! To take him out of my life's equation may be more painful than I can stand to bear. He is like the Peanut Butter; thus making me the Jelly. Oh Blue...I truly love you!

To: IHB - Memory Lane

Spiritually Sound Sistas

2011-05-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

The last month has been one of extremes and I am glad to say things are finally settling so that I may take a slight breather!!

I was grateful for the chance to focus on school the last month and try to pull things together after taking care of my Grandma. Over the past two years while serving as a Relief Society President, in most part to Freshman sisters on Campus, I have been given the opportunities, trials, and challenges to find myself in merely losing myself. I have solidified the truth-God's ways are not our ways, yet we are given the blessings of hearkening unto Him to try our patience, faith, and love as a disciple unto Him. He knew what He was doing from the very beginning...I may have doubted, questioned, or even rebelled in my lack of understanding in His ways. Yet through it all I must admit I relied on the strength of the Lord, and getting by with a little help from my friends-my sisters.

I grew up with very little faith in women, in their word, and in the design of maternal femininity. After all, we do live in a man's world of competition, corporation, and overall corruption. It has come to my attention I have no desire to compete in any of that! In hindsight, which always seems a little better than it's counterpart-foresight, I once was almost at the top of a corporate ladder, moving from a position of level 4 to that of a supervisor's level 21, in less than a two year period (the corporation tops out at a level 26 with it's leaders or "CEO's" as they are called in the business setting. I found after quickly moving to the top, it wasn't were I wanted to be. Other's styles in leadership were of a competitive selfish nature which contrasts my personal and life-long thought process of leaving no one behind with no empty chairs. I greatly disliked it-being promoted to an office, closed off from my peers, colleagues, and friends. I found I was left with a plethora of shallow working relationships. This compelled me to open up my heart and find what/where the Lord wanted me to be and do with my life-not what and where the world wanted me to be.

The call...I had a visitor at work one Friday afternoon. He took me by surprise and was my biggest challenge to living on campus. He had torn my heart, giving me cause to re-evaluate, lick my wounds, and plead for the Lord's intervention in my life. As He promises; His arm was outstretched still and he pulled me into a calling that would change my heart and outlook on womanhood FOREVER. While prayerfully deciding where to live for the upcoming year I knew I was to remain on campus and study in the Engineering house. I accepted the call as Relief Society President, not knowing before hand the things which I should do...I love Nephi and his unwavering faith in the Lord. This calling changed my life, it has made me a better teacher, mother, sister, and friend.

A few experience that stand out in my mind:

There is a mother in all of us: A ward activity was held to celebrate our new ward this year at a sister's families home in Murray. A mist the festivities, these darling new friends started calling me mom and mother-due to my calling and responsibilities. I recall it rubbing me the wrong way-in my mind I viewed this as infering I was old and put a halt to the name no sooner had it started. Weeks later I had learned to see the forenamed title of the utmost reverence, responsibility, and respect. His children will always naturally yearn for a mother figure, they had been homesick-in need of friends, hungry to be nourished by the good word, and needed a capacity to serve-using their God given talents. After these small realizations of the name "Mother," I yearned for it; had I realized at the time I would have embraced such a title versus even shunning the thought of being a mother to these dear ones He calls His. Thank you Mary and Carter for such a kind title in the opportunity to serve as a mother to many!

Being approachable, kind, and caring for the heads that hang down: In my two school years of serving, there were many who needed callings and either didn't understand the magnification process of giving their time and talents to building up the Kingdom of God, or that all we do in the church we do for Him. I can think of a couple of sisters that went straight to the Bishop instead of trying to approach me with their questions and concerns. A slightly awkward process, considering the Bishop always sides with those whom the Lord's called, and then refers the Relief Society President to go and talk to the sister who came in to see him. As the wise Clement's gave council, "Women get all wrapped up in emotion, they have a hard time talking to another woman who wants to go out and solve problems instead of a woman who will passively sit back and listen to them." At the time I received this, it was meant to lift my heart and be of cheer for the motivation and ability I have to work, work, and work. Instead through a friend and councilor, I've learned the value of listening, just to be the ear and lift the heads of those that hand down. Thanks to those Women who needed someone who just needed a woman to embrace your manly and emotional issues instead of solve them for you. I've learned to listen, give sound positive encouragement, and the good Lord will give the wisdom to solve your own problems in His own way and in His own time. Listening is love-thanks Lacey for loving me enough to sit back and listen on countless occasions.

Nothing but Heart: A pseudo Father reminded me the principle of balance, which King Benjamin so plainly teaches-even in the things of the heart. When I attempt to accomplish anything, I usually begin with the motto, "Go Big or Go Home." Since I'm already home, I have no other option than Go Big! Words of Wisdom were spoken between Brother Scott and I, as I described a hiking trail in the valley close to each of our homes: we zig-zag back and forth on medium to high ground; eventually yielding higher ground, elevating our immediate position with gradual transition. In hiking you always seem to have the option of the straight ascent to the top, most likely treacherous, unruly, and no places to rest and catch your breath. One may become quickly fatigued, overwhelmed, and give up only to find themselves taking the switch backs once foreseen as time consuming and a painstakingly slow process. God fills our lives with switchbacks-that we may accomplish things with all of our heart and not losing heart in the process. Thanks Bro Scott and all the others who encouraged me to fully extend my heart along the way!

Love, love, love: Not only is this one of my favorites by the Beetles, but a true principle of the Restored Gospel of Christ. I once had an investigator on the mission named Rod Dee. He emphatically stated, "God is Love and Love is God, there's nothing bigger and better than that sister...nothing bigger and better...!" It still rings just as loud and clear to me in my mind as much as it did that warm summer day in August on McKenzie Street in Washington State. For our Father, His Son, and every other member of the Godhead who cares and watched out for our well being, everything they do, encourage others to do, and allow to happen for our growth is rooted in the immense and unconditional love they have for each and every child they possess. This doctrine has lead me to self evaluate on a continual basis, "Why do I do what I do? Is it out of the love for the individual, the group, family, or even myself?" There is a certain expectation in this world to be lovers of ourselves-I have found the love needed for self is limited to that of personal prayer, scripture study, temple attendance, sacrifice of offerings, commandment keeping, and a few other gifts He's given us to help us get through the daily grind. Everything else worth spending time doing is devoting time to building up others. Hopefully we don't keep ourselves so busy we forget to share our His love with others along our journey we call life. Thanks to all of those who have allowed me to love, serve, and have fun with each of you on a regular basis in varied capacities. A life with out love, is a life not worth living. Love on...IT'S YOUR CHOICE!

The service rendered in my calling has bonded me to life to some of my closest and dearest friends. I haven't chosen my roommates, besides the family I have lived with, since being home from the mission until now...I live with Lacey Love, or the Lobseter, or Lafonda, there is pretty much a new one made up for her on a consistent basis. Shannon, or more commonly known as Sha-nay-nay, Twinner, and Jaycee Johnson- a.k.a. Kim with more names to come. These ladies light up my life and I enjoy their drastically different personalities and ability to assist in keeping me pumped about life and grounded insomuch that I don't float away...

We moved in a month ago and I must confess it has been one of the most fun of my life! We work together as a team, building our house into a home. We've planted a reasonable large vegetable garden, are sprouting an array of flowers indoors to be planted at a later date, and moved literally tons of bricks to construct our own make-shift patio. We've moved in a houseful of furniture, replaced a the kitchen sink, lopped off all the side yard bushes, grown grass from seed, cleared gravel and our recent endeavor was pruning a fruit tree and yanking out multiple side growths root and all. Man-up right Nay? We've had multiple late night fiestas, our first BBQ was a smash, and our first in the In-the-Hood dinner guest (Thanks Davey!). Our Seasonal glasses bring us much Joy and hope they do to you as you venture your way to our humble abode. Last weekend we went camping with Bro Town and enjoyed the trip even though we were rained out, at least we got to swim and roast mallows together!! We've gone to a music concert together and even scored the first ever autographed copy of "Wherez Anna." Future investments begin while you're young and we've decided to invest in each other and make these friendships last!

The things I treasure most about my roommates: We all bring such different things to the table.

Lacey's love for potatoes (maybe my greater love of giving her a hard time about being from IDAHO-I served part of my mission there so it holds high standing to be from Idaho), her genuine love for everything good and right, most of all I love her because she loves me despite the many shortcomings, imperfects, and ability to talk her head off. She is an angel and I am left in awe at the many spiritual experiences we've seen together-she's one of my very best friends!

Jaycee is the small voice of reason, when she speaks I have been impressed to listen to what she may have to say is done so in wisdom. She cleans our home and for this I am grateful. One of the many things I look up to her for is her love and devotion to music and developing her talents in them. She inspires me to make use of the talents God has given me. We all look forward to growing closer to Jaycee as she moves into the house with us full time in the fall. She lives with her family right now, caring for her siblings, which I believe is the best choice one can make in life, yet we anxiously await her full arrival at a later date.

Last, but never least Shanaynay has become one of my closest and trusted friends these past months and even more in the last few weeks. She helps me keep my mind open and view things in a different light. She and I finish each others sentences, we have Man conversations, and we love working our guts out together! Go Buffness!! We've had similar life experiences and because of many of these we have conversations, when all is said and done, that help me remember where I've been, who I am becoming and what I want to be. She speaks her mind freely and I respect and honor her opinions. I love knowing where I stand with her and it takes the roadblocks out of the way that may occur in any given friendship where two strong personalities are involved. We think so much alike at times it still scares me...I think we were separated in Heaven and must have besties there too.

Most importantly these lovely ladies teach me on a daily basis and not only do they keep me young, but help me want to be the best I can be! I pray God will grant me ability, foresight, and selflessness to be a "keeper" as our house continues in becoming a home. Thanks for being influential in my life down the last stretch of road! ♥ Sarah

Love, Love, Love

When All is Said and Done

So many daddies and so much love

2011-03-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

Today my first class was methods of teaching seminary. Funny thing, I really detest waking up to the sound of an alarm. I always have and I fear I always will. Last night I actually prayed to wake up before my alarm went off this morning. Funny thing I remember waking up and being somewhat alarmed thinking I'd overslept my alarm for some reason. Nope just woke up about 5 minutes before it was to go off. The little tender mercies...I was exhausted, but made arrangements to teach early morning seminary so better just cowboy up and get to bed by 10:30 every night or I fret I would be worth much to them. I have found time after time, when I am overtired I have a hard time heeding the prompting of the HG. I took a cat nap, walked up to class-this is the only engineering class I have taken thus far I will miss.

Biomaterials, the professor is one of my favorite here at the U. He is an unsolicited LDS and is a confirmation to me we really are a peculiar people. He uses LDS lingo in his teaching, today it was humble, embark, diligence. He's not nerdy or anything, rather he is absolutely brilliant! He uses other lingo like the dark side, or movie references to try and keep us entertained. He is a really awesome teacher, the content is pretty hefty (I think for everyone, not just pseudo engineers like myself, plus a majority of the students are PhD's) and I am actually interested enough to want to retain it for future reference-who knows what...Either way his jokes are dry and you have to be listening carefully to get them. I never leave without having a chuckle with everyone in class looking at me like I've lost it. He looks and me and smirks, knowing that I gladly receive his intelligent humor. He is very witty and is constantly teaching us tidbits about his work, Pharmacology and Biomedical Engineering. For once I feel as though I am in the presence of greatness and that my tuition is worth more because I am informed more than reading or researching.

Then home I went to eat some soup and work on homework. Then Scott picked me up to go to the temple and I must admit spending the afternoon with him was such a delight, as always. He is so insightful and everything a gentleman should/could be. It help me to place perspective on things and truly assisted me in the remained of my day! To be a woman or not to be?? Is no longer a question. We are after all the crowning creation and need to act accordingly.

God talks through love and inspiration

2011-03-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

Why can't we all be like we are fresh off the mission?

I spent time with this newly returned missionary this evening and I loved his valiance, his unfaltering spirit and personal, but not domineering quest for righteousness. It is his kindness, love, and genuine characteristics that make him so handsome. All of my friends swoon over him and I see him as one of the most delightful beings I've made contact. Besides hearing one of my closest friends will be hooking it up with the man she adores, the other highlights of my day were finding out that I may still live with those whom I love, visiting with the cutest elderly ladies and gent this evening and spending time with my ward family. I am sickened by my great disrespect of authority and don't necessarily know where it's been coming from, but I need to abide by rules and embrace the confidence in choosing what is right in all things. I cannot pick or choose or my maker may very well not pick me. Valiance, diligence, and love is the plea I hear from within my troubled soul. Onward Christian soldier...

Elder and Sister Snow Part II

2011-03-06T22:06:00.000-08:00

Elder and Sister Snow are my newest favorite general authority. They are just so real and down to earth. People who are the salt of the earth and when I grow up I want to be just like them. Master teachers and amazingly full of love, Christ's love. This has been one of the best weekends I've had in months. Funny though...I didn't go climbing, I didn't study for school, I missed an important family function, yet I felt more enriched and edified than I have spending four hours doing anything else. One of the best parts of feeling so great was everyone that was around me partook of the same goodness, joy, and love. As a Relief Society Presidency this afternoon we spent at least four hours organizing and pondering, evaluating and letting the spirit impress upon our minds great truths. We were all so tired, hungry, and burnt out by 3:30, yet it reminds me of the truth, when you work the hardest the memories somehow create themselves and oh how great will be your joy in the kingdom! I think we left three or four hilarious messages on people's phones. We sang songs, danced in the rain, and mainly filled with giddy delight! For the first time in my life I can honestly say I truly appreciate being a woman. I've always viewed life as living and competing in a "man's world." This is not reality of the divinely appointed plan at all-women are wonderful, we relish the good times, we are mothering, nurturing, kind, loving, meek, delicate spiritual beings that fill the void between our earthly existence and our Heavenly Home. For it is there I was taught to always remember as a daughter of a Living God I can always relish in the faith and reassurance I will indeed know how it all turns out.

I need not fear anything for God will deliver me-personally Sarah Elizabeth Schneider-from anything He seeth fit I need deliverance from.

I realized too this weekend, I have awesome friends. The kind that check up on you, even if they are married and have lives of their own. They love you, their spouses love you, and talking to them fills your life with Joy! The best part of my friends is my younger sister has moved to SLC and I still can't get over the fact she's here. It fills my soul with the most exquisite joy. I have to physically prioritize my time during the week or I could easily spend all my time at her house with her, Allen, Isaac, and newborn Atticus. Years after I pleaded with her to come and join me in Utah I now feel like I am able to spend the time with which I've always looked forward. Last weekend I had Isaac and he was a true delight. Tonight before dinner it was awesome...I had this Thomas the Tank Engine play tattoo and Joyanne extremely questioned if Isaac should be allowed to have it. He didn't even think it was cool! He is the smartest little 3 year old I have ever had the pleasure of spending time around. Nate and Brode were incredible kids, yet I believe due to the love and care devoted to this little guy on a constant basis he will continue to fascinate me and make me addicted to spending time, codling, tickling, chasing, reading, kissing, hugging, wrestling, and sleeping with The Ike. He's become my favorite flavor in life and when he asks if I have to leave, I honestly believe I may feel just as sad about my departure til a day or two later when I need to drop in and spend time with the family. Besides Joyanne cooks like Daddy and feeds me the highest caliber of meals, most importantly baked with love.

It is a dream I've always looked forward to: having family dinners, scripture study, prayer, spending holidays together, family home evenings, movie nights with homemade popcorn, and feel an immense amount of love through being with those you will continue working towards a progressive relationship for all of eternity. Maybe in a few months I will really want my own family, the desire is growing-I am starting to like the idea...now about actually spotting a guy who can be spiritual, family oriented, semi-adventurous,and can make up for all of the things I am not: conservative, anti-impulsive, serious when I can't be, fun loving when I am anal retentive, and pretty much anyone who can counter balance my extremes and shortfalls and I his- that inevitably with some work and diligence we become like Him. May he come and find me home is my humble hope.

Until then I dream of him and endure in patience glorifying His name

Revelation

2011-03-05T21:28:00.000-08:00

Elder Snow came and visited us for our stake conference. I was taught from on high this evening...by the Spirit of the Lord and His servants. I realized I need to go back to the standards I learned as a missionary. I will begin using a white board, planning out my days, weeks, months, and coming back to reality of a saint in zion with a level amount of devotion to my calling.

I will not fear, I will listen and obey the promptings he sends to me personally. I have been given so many gifts in this life and if I continue faithful, use them and rely on His timing I will receive all of the righteous desires of my heart in the due time of the Lord.

Goals for March:
Turn in the appeal to Deseret Mutual
Pay off the rest of my computer
Give an Ivory Statue to the Calder's
Begin working on Temple Names
Weekly goals by 3/13
Have seminary observation set up
Have appt with Stake President and Bp set up
Everything ready and up to date to hand off to Nat
Eat with Megs and Matt
One week of no inflammation foods
Daily climbing/exercise
Ready to take Biomaterials exam
Make Dave Breakfast
Read the White Handbook

Cram'n or Jam'n

2011-02-19T21:38:00.000-08:00

The past month has been one of the most chaotic of my life...sounds dramatic right? Well it has been: sister is now comfortably moved into their home in SLC and the sweet mother of another reasonably large newborn. My grams is now doing much better, after six doctors visits, drug regulation, and good homemade love'n I believe she is doing much better. I am hoping to have time this week to try and catch up on school-work, begin seminary again, and become a normal citizen. I slept a lot today, held my new nephew, and went climbing with a buddy.

It was a good day! I feel like kicking it into high gear and becoming a super study nerd, yet I realize for me to do this it is imperative, as Dave so kindly pointed out, I need to not have any fun. I realize this as full on truth-no fun, meaning no extracurricular activities this week and maybe none the next. Just straight up-family, calling, schooling, work, and personal priorities (sleeping, running, climbing, walking, and best of all no sugar!)

I was also taught today that you cannot feel the Spirit while diddle-daddling. One of my life's best talents is that I am an extraordinary of the type. I will now be making the conscious decision to use the time or lose it. There is one choice to either be Cram'n or Jam'n....

Out with the Old and in with the New!!

2011-02-03T20:15:00.000-08:00

Last year was so significantly different. I am liking the family time this year more than that of any other. My younger sis and her family just moved into town from Southern Utah! It is so wonderful to have them here. My brother-in-law and I study together. We make family dinners on Sunday and my 3 year old nephew has just taken the top spot in my friend list. Today he asked me to marry him, when the answer was, "That isn't the way it works in our family," his response was, "Will you be my new best friend!" So cute I could have melted right there! Why do some boys turn into men who don't know how to say the right things anymore? Even when they explode later, you still forgive them because you understand why they say things in haste. i.e.-This evening, I went to leave and Isaac asked, "You aren't going to stay forever? (I answered I needed to leave-as empathetically as possible) Well then I am going to kill you!" was his response. One extreme to the other, but man I understood he just wanted me to stay. Ike is too honest and sweet to ever even dream of killing anyone, let alone his BFF. I felt even worse when he got sent to his room for the off-color comment. When people are obscenely honest at least they nuzzle into your heart and forgiveness comes frankly.

We are also awaiting the arrival of a new addition to our family on the 14th-a love baby! It is so refreshing to spend time reminiscing, strengthening eternal relationships, and being an intimate part of each others lives. I wish all of my family were this close to me.

Another opportunity I have had since Christmas is to care for my grandmother. She is stricken with Parkinson's and her health is quickly declining. She has always been the busy, independent, and outgoing woman of great devotion to our family-a true example of stellar womanhood in my life. For some reason she trusts no one else for her care and to do the tasks of daily living on her behalf. It has been a vast challenge for me to spend the needed time caring for her, staying up to date with school work, seminary, relief society, and then just trying to have a life. Well the later-I've lost my life almost entirely and find great hope in the promise I am actually finding myself. I am grateful for the time spent with those I love and admire with so much of my heart!

I have been able to find the priority and time to spend with those friends who mean the most. Making meals with Ty and Mi, Megs and Matt, and spending some time with D on my travels back from Ogden during the week. I have yet to hit the slopes in the evening-which allows this frigid chill to become bearable. One of these eves, hopefully sooner than later, I will be where the flakes fall in abundance and the sound of swooshing fills the air and my soul with delight.

The highlights of this week is making time for an unplanned visit from Uncle Michael, the joys of childish straightforwardness, and celebrating with those I love most-making more memories with forever friends!

........serving others yields your best self!

2011-01-05T22:06:00.000-08:00

As I contemplate the upcoming semester I look forward with much faith and a strong desire to serve my fellow man. In talking to a friend on the phone this evening, we were talking about getting far in life is about who you know! Usually such a statement has a negative connotation-this however, did not. It is a talent or God-given gift to befriend, socialize, build relationships of trust, and network in such a way one provides themselves a future means to an end.

Introspection yields speculation towards the relationships I hold with my family and friends. Minus the exception of a select few I marvel at the amount of love, mutual respect, and approbation for those I am kin to, work, study, live, and serve around. He was correct, networking is a talent!

As I look forward to a new semester, a new year, a new job, new environments and opportunities to build those around me I encourage all to do the same. Lift where you stand in your communities, socialites, employment and family circles-that all may teach and learn together: the true definition of lasting edification. ♥ Sis

Remember Who You Are!

2011-01-05T22:02:00.000-08:00

You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you...He has engraved each of us on the palm of his hands. If we remember Him we can remember who we each are and in turn, the grander scheme of things! We are to become like Him and He being the Lord of Lords, do we act in such a manner to be able to inherit our noble birthright?

The last Thanksgiving Dinner

2010-11-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

'Tis the Season...now and always!

This week I had a grand total of 11 invites to be with family or friends for a Thanksgiving dinner. I declined most of them. After the third feast I didn't really feel like eating any more and felt like a glutton. I did have a last feast today and I must say it was the most enjoyable, well maybe with the exception of spending time with my The Boys and Ellie! This evening I only had a normal size plate of food, even though it was the largest spread out of them all.

I do declare the company was the best! It was very enjoyable and we played Phase 10, a game I like quite a bit and I can't remember when I've laughed that hard without Tyler Marler around, I miss my best friends and the laughter and edification they provide. They are never forgotten, only at a different place and time than me. I hope their Thanksgiving was as great as mine. I can't imagine my side and jaw hurting more than they already do from laughing.

I had some of my very favorite people there: Lacey, Big Al, Tabs, Scotty, Dave, Bryce, Josh, and Joey. There was so much food it was bizarre and we all must have been pretty hungry because we mowed, during this time you could hear a pin drop. Then we played Phase 10 and it was wonderful-the giggles were incredible and jokes were of absolute delight. Diligent Bryce went home teaching and missed out on some of the fun.

I hadn't thought everyone would really be there that was there. There were a few of the people I had invited who declined last minute, and others I didn't think would actually stay and abide the evening. In all honesty the stress of it all threw me for a loop as Scotty pulled up and I knew this evening would test all I am and have been striving to become the past few months.

I wanted to drop the gals off and go to my own home. Lacey saw on my face and knows me well enough-I was thinking about leaving. The look she gave was a concerned, "Don't even think about it Sarah," and asked me if I wasn't going to get out of the car as they got dropped off at the back door. As Scott and I pulled up, he is so kind hearted and selfless, he noted that I was stressed and asked if I was alright. Without thoughtful examination of my response I replied, "This is about my maximum stress level-this is as frazzled as I get." He raised his eyebrows with adoration and said something kind and flattering; I can't recall at this time. Little did he know what was going on inside the mind of lady feeling trapped, tricked, and torn. The Lord doesn't trick you from serving others though...

My heart is like a quaint victorian home with extra beds and a wrap around porch, giving plenty of room for guests and parties, a porch swing for the more intimate moments, a huge yard for everyone to run, play and grow, and acreage to explore nature, imagine, and grant needed freedom from frolicking. There is the safety of a picket fence around this well kept yard with a vegetable garden and fragrant fruit trees, a large oak with a family built tree house, and outdoor fire-pit for those monthly spring, summer, and fall parties. This picket fence remains wide open for visitors, friends, and family. I love being with people, rejoicing with others and mourning when they need companionship in mourning.

However, it seems that once you've come into my yard, ripped up my grass or misused my porch swing I shut the gate and you are no longer welcome. When you come walking by my yard, I act like I don't know you're there, or stand at the other side of the fence debating if I will ever let you in again. This personal argument has a definite possibility of overturn. I continually am amazed at my gift to forgive and talent of forgetting the hurtful things of the past. If I see you come by my yard time after time wondering if you should knock, I will be in my garden pulling the weeds, I see you there, I don't acknowledge you, but I know you are where you are and in time my heart softens and I will open my gate to you once more. Give me the time I need and the real reasons to love you and I will open the gate for you to come and be with me in my heart, my house. We then can play in the sandbox, jump on the tramp or frolic in the woods behind the house. I realize then and only then can my house be made a home.

The evening ended on a high note. Big Al and I were so tired we tried with all of our might to clean up the food between the giggle bursts. There was so much food, I didn't want to waste it, the gals all have meal plans and the guys were bashful about taking the food. Finally Josh just started saying he would take everything. Hallelujah or we would have been there all night making trips to and fro bring things out to the car! Finally we made it out the door and to the driveway and the turkey platter flips out of Tabs hands and flies onto the ground. What a mess and here I am with three ladies laughing loudly at 11 o'clock in the evening. My default would have me laugh with them, but then I realize I am the mother here and we can't leave all this messy turkey on the ground for some poor dog to come and get sick on. I ask them to go and get a bag and kindly remind them it's late and we shouldn't be so loud. We make it down the slick drive and get in the car and drive safely home. They talk about it being the best night of the semester for them. The best night for many of us and all because one friend missed out on Thanksgiving dinner the week before! Thanks Bryce-you're the best! You've helped my heart get off to a great Holiday jump-start and I now fully feel and remember the real reason for the season.

Thank you all for continually filling my heart with love, laughter, and light! May the brightness and cheer of this blessed time of year fill you hearts and homes too! Abide in Him and He will abide in you, that this may happen for us all now and always.

A 50 Lb Bag!

2010-11-15T10:32:00.000-08:00

Every other Sunday evening I hold a dinner group at my house. Last night we had breakfast for dinner, it's my favorite meal of the day and I never seem to get more than a yogurt, cottage cheese, soggy cereal, or fruit and a stick cheese (string cheese, but this is what I will be calling it from now on). Last night was so yummy-I was so hungry and the company was so pleasant, we laughed, we worked, and by golly I didn't get any pictures, but the memories will remain. Oodles of french toast, eggs with peppers, homemade purple hash browns, with fresh Oregon blueberry syrup and OJ!!

Besides the conversation, cramped kitchen, and continual sound of laughter, the highlight for me was my friend returning from Idaho and bringing me a bag of potatoes. She and I have really hit it off as of late and I find we have kindred hearts and tear ducts. The thing is she'd tried to convince me last week potatoes from Idaho are just that much better...I was somewhat joking and said, "Sure they are!!" She challenged my disbelief and asked if I'd like a bag to test out. More in jest than not, I agreed and didn't think anything more about the matter. Yesterday she text me asking if I'd like a bag of potatoes. I responded "Yes please," remembering our previous conversation and thought how kind of her! Later that evening she showed up to my house with her Father carrying a 50 Lb bag of potatoes over his shoulder!! I couldn't believe it. I think the biggest bag of potatoes I've ever seen was 10 or 15 Lbs! It was wicked awesome. We will use them for homemade fries with grilled burgers in two weeks, potato pancakes next Saturday morning, and a humungous pot of mashed potatoes for our neighborhood Pre-Thanksgiving feast! Hooray for potatoes and fantastic friends!

I'm going to start carrying my camera in my back pocket-I think this gal from Wisconsin has a lot to learn this semester...who would have ever guessed they sell 50 lb bags of potatoes.

5) Do you love what you do?

2010-11-12T15:59:00.001-08:00

In July of 2009 I received the promotion from Access Services Supervisor at the Family History Library to Instructional Designer for the department. I went from training/teaching full time missionaries or employees face to face to sitting at a desk designing 60 hours a week. I would go into work before the sun came up and wouldn't leave until it was going down. I was given the thrilling opportunity to design amazing computer based training for the department and millions of members of the LDS church to utilize and assist them in family history work, yet my heart wasn't fulfilled and my body loathed sitting in a chair 12 hours a day. Then a gentleman and coworker asked me one day what my talents were and was I using them on a daily basis, if I could do anything I wanted to do was it working as an instructional designer? This inspired question brought me back to when I came home from my mission and how I felt compelled to get a masters in Recreational Therapy. I didn't follow through thinking I would go through the nursing program and be satisfied with a bachelors.

The answer to his question was a simple one: No I was not using all of my talents-I am great with computers and training, yet my soul wasn't being fulfilled for I was not living up to my divine destiny. The calling in this life for me-I love people, listening and learning from them. If I had to be inside I would want it to be working with high schoolers teaching seminary/college students as an institute teacher of proclaim other truths that would help them to come unto Him. My missions and other service rendered in the kingdom have made me experience the most incredible joy I cannot yet do it justice by putting it into words.

I also fancy being outside in all seasons. I love planting, gardening all summer long, I like landscaping, working, and using my hands to make anything. I love recreation of all kinds, especially those needing skilled technique (climbing, boarding, sailing, swimming, biking, and fishing) or on playing on sport teams (soccer, ultimate, football, volleyball, tennis, the list seems infinite). My outdoor ideal job would be to work with abused adolescents in the wilderness: facilitating them to find peace in nature and rest within themselves (hiking, camping, fishing, etc). When we spend time away from the distractions of our busy lives we are given to much reflection and vast imaginations, a sense of who we may be is given the chance to flow into our minds-literally bridging the gap between heaven and earth.

I was going back, back to the woman I've always wanted to be: a teacher, a caregiver, and one who has been many places and seen what the world has to offer her inhabitants. Many wonderful things and likewise things that would cause us to live contrary to the manner of happiness if we embrace such. Here we are given the opportunity to act or become stagnant and acted upon. Many times we let the world decide what we should be doing and we lose the rest or peace we find only in Him. It was only after I found out I was suffering from a debilitating disorder I left my job and everything of stability to embark in pursuing my goals, ambitions, and aspire to be true to my own divine destiny.

I now work at a local psychiatric hospital with patients, clinicians, nurses, social workers, and doctors alike. I love the time I am able to spend with the patient and brightening their worlds. It's my goal to make them smile, let them know someone cares with all of their heart about them, and give them a little bit of my love and hope, which he has given me to share with those of whom I associate. Life is grand, it's a gift and may we live and love the work in which we each do-that we may Rest in Him.

2010-11-11T23:00:00.000-08:00

2) Freshman and Life on The Circle...

About a year ago I received an opportunity to serve with about 100 freshman and some upper-classmen who are my neighbors on campus. I live, eat and go to school with them. We play and best of all serve together in much love, laughter, and unity. Many of them think coming to college means giving up light hearted, wholesome clean fun for some serious more sophisticated adult expectations of the fast paced competitive world in which we live. Somehow in this race to excel, they lose their glimmer of hope, song of the heart, and innate tendency to long for home...yet in jest I find great excitement in adding small delights to their days here as they learn in the great school called life. Teaching through example, we see others who know life really has no limits except the ones we set...

At the Union this afternoon I met a friend for lunch and as we were leaving, met some more friends on the patio. Here we found some lovely gentlemen and ladies in attire from the same era of the old military vehicles they had on display. There was a young man getting his picture taken by one of these finely dressed blokes and then I had a idea...a marvelous idea we should hop in a military jeep and take a picture too! As I delivered my plan of smiling big and asking these fine people ever so nicely, my young friends said it wouldn't work and it seemed really silly of me to make such a request. Then without much prodding I put on a big smile and with a warm handshake plus some exuberant enthusiasm we were in the car and ready for our picture to be taken. Afterwards my friend thanked me. She was surprised how much fun it really had been.

Another experience of college life is not sweating the small stuff and then figuring out most stuff is small (Thanks John B). I went to bring a house-mate to the airport this morning between classes and a real life experience occurred. House 611 is a co-ed honors house of 6 females and 6 males. I've come to the harsh reality beggars can't be choosers and this is exactly what I am. :o) Carter is one of my brothers here in our house family. He was one of the guys who helped me complete my Halloween dream of dressing up like Lil Red this year and accompanying me as Granny (Carter) and Jack the Woodsman (Kevin). Anyway, this morning I knocked on Dave and Carter's door to see if Dave was ready and all I heard was, "Come in." As I opened the door and took a step into the room there was Carter just chill'n in his boxers. He looked at me with the widest blue eyes-me being paralyzed by the rush of blood to my head stood in shock, then apologized and taking a step backward shut the door to his room. As I collected my faculties and waited outside for him to get dressed, took a few deep breaths taking in what had just happened; I let out a sigh of relief, recognizing that was probably the most comfortable situation it could have been.

At least it was Carter and we have a mutual respect for each other to know it would never be awkward. He comes in the bathroom as I wash my face I come and talk to him in the bathroom as he brushes his teeth. In retrospect I there is so much fun and adventure to live in a house with peeps of similar age and what a benefit we can all be to each other. I came home this evening and he'd lost an assignment in a computer lab, one he'd already redone once this week. Dear Carter was ever so frustrated; Kevin and Anthony were diligently searching for the assignment on his hard drive, but with no avail. In conversation I helped Carter to see his best option was to not fret about the assignment, explain to his professor what happened and finish studying for his Physics exam tomorrow. How absolutely fascinating to be close as friends, brothers, sisters, councilors, tutors, examples, and doctors. We sooth each others pains, sicknesses, heartache, and I love the environment of sharing and love that is maintained in our home. We are a family...a family of friends.

Here in Utah, one of my favorite pastimes is to be out of the city and up in the mountains. I find there to be much growth, strength, symbolism and introspection found in these monuments of grand design. Ky and I went up one Saturday in September. We were trying to find a newer climb without a recent map and the book we had did not contain a trail to the route. I recall having trouble finding it with Josh last fall, but was confident we'd find it that morning. We started at the furthest ridge and ended up going either around or over three more peaks until we came to our destination. By this time we were pooped from our previous climbing, hiking, scaling, and adventures. The strength we had once had was gone leaving us have no desire to climb. Our destination was met and our energy already spent to the leisure of clipping in and pushing up a route. The views we had seen that morning were amazing and some I remember with astounding vividness. We were bruised, battered, and our hearts torn for not getting to the climb without the added detours. Yet, these detours were beautiful and I look upon that day with much fondness. Had we a map to lead our way we would have climbed to even higher peaks that day! We had not a map and looking back can now say...from here on out we'll be better prepared and look forward to May!

Time flies when you're having fun!

2010-11-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a year since I've blogged last. It was for my class when I began, but now I have a strong desire to recap the past months and map out where I've been to more fully understand where I may be going.

States I've visited this year: California, Colorado, Idaho, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

Within the next year: Brazil, Mexico, Alaska, and maybe Panama, Chile, Argentina, and Antarctica.

This has been one eventful year:

1) One may have many talents, we must work at them, define them, and pursue ways of integrating them into our lives. I've acquired numerous talents this year, but the two that stand out to me is gaining confidence in my rock climbing ability and practicing the art of the needle-sewing and quilting. By facilitating others love in such recreation is the joy of all that we learn to do ourselves-that we all may teach and be fellow citizens and saints.

2) I love freshman and the University of Utah more than ever-campus rocks and so does living on The Circle. Student life is amazing and the socialization with peers helps one see things for how they really are and will be.

3) I've been gaining a stronger testimony of Relief Society and the amazing role of womanhood. The female sex is that of charity, good will and Savior-hood in reaching for our divine destiny and individual worth. Before the end of this school year I will finish my personal progress and understand the woman who I serve more fully.

4)Brazilians are the bestest! Andrea and Millena I love you more than words can express! So are americans for that matter-Liv, Megs, and Ky I love you all so very much!

5) Working sometimes isn't all it's cracked up to be...or is it? Love what you do and give love to those who need it!

6) After 8 months of continual poking, prodding, and picking, I was able to begin the healing process from TMJD and am hoping to enjoy a Christmas dinner this year without migraines to follow!

7) I love teaching and working with the adolescent population. They are fantastic, whether it's having tea parties, watching movies, learning seminary, building giant snowmen, or going through psychological or detox issues together, or just talking things through I love being around youth and love their desire to do good and be who they were meant to be.

a.I started taking Masters Therapeutic Recreation classes this semester. Not only is the content amazing and life altering to learn, but mentally rewarding to think more outside the box in areas of the world in which there is an overwhelming need for personal expertise. My professors are of the highest caliber-making my time and energy therein thoroughly rewarding.

b. People should pursue their personal dreams, goals, and wishes and encourage all those around them to do likewise-herein lies true happiness friends, and wouldn't it be to live after the manner of happiness?

8) Finding your roots gives greater definition to where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. Genealogy has become not just a hobby, but a desire and passion. Family is one of the roots to happiness!

9) I was able to go back to the mission this year-I loved the time there and it allowed my heart to have time to ponder and heal from the injustices of our time and world. It was where my heart began to grow by leaps and bounds because in teaching God's children he enlarged my capacity to love, love, and love...

10) Most of all-Isn't it about family? I've made numerous visits all over the country this year to see and spend time with my family! It has been the highlight of my life-literally! I made a few trips to Cali to spend time with family and friends, to Colorado to spend time with Sam and all his gals (which is always real R and R-thank you), Huntington is about the same caliber of R and R-Joy and Allan always a pleasure, and last, but very least: In October I was able to go home to Wisconsin and Michigan to my roots and enjoy the company and love of my ever so endearing Schneider family. Whom I adore with every fiber of my heart!

So many lessons learned and time well spent, even if at times I felt as though I was in my personal wilderness. This is what I will be journaling/blogging about until Thanksgiving for we have been taught to always have an attitude of gratitude and I desire to always have the lamp-light glowing in my heart!

2009-12-16T00:26:00.000-08:00

From a formative evaluation perspective I have done a bang-up job at posting on my Blog this semester. In retrospect I could have viewed it more as a journal and then I may have done well. Isn't that really what a Blog is, a form of journal for public view, via this marvelous technological tool??? Technology...another means to an end-a way of accomplishing learning or tasks, but merely through another medium. I have four or five spiral notebooks full of comprehension of concepts, skills attained, and moments when I was able to see trees individually in the forest.

I will back log my moments of awareness and enlightenment of the semester in a very "unblog-like" fashion:

2009-11-09T15:18:00.000-08:00

I was invited to an Instructional Design Community Conference last Thursday. M. David Merrill, Bryan Chapman, and Rex Allen were all keynote speakers. It was an amazing conference and very interesting and enlightening to be taught from the "fathers" and masters in the field of instructional design. I thought the highlight would be Merrill as he taught on Finding and Designing e3 (engaging, effective, efficient), but found I learned the most from Rex Allen. Maybe because he teaches more towards my learning style or even since he is geared more in the area of my interest. Either way I am more intrigued in furthering my education in this area than ever before. My main focus was on Designing Learning Experiences and I look forward to implementing all that I learned.

Life as an Instructional Designer

2009-09-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

Life seems short this far along in the journey and yet I've worked in many fields in my 28 years of living. In high school, I started as clerk making and selling ice cream, took night classes to become a certified nursing assistant-placing me as an employee in a nursing home, and later as a supervisor of respite care. Janitorial work and renovating homes to save up money so I could then be called on a full time mission for the L.D.S. Church and herein found a life altering love for learning and teaching. In the past few years I have taught preschool, special education, Montessori school, and privately tutored an array of subjects and areas. My main passions and drives are those associated with positive interactions with others. I believe we are our best source of learning as we focus on absorbing all we can from our current situations and circumstances only to move forward with increase wisdom and knowledge from where we've been to facilitate where we are going.

Instructional Design is a great opportunity to apply these principles in the work force as well as in a new way of analyzing and viewing the world to assist others in accomplishing much good! It requires a lot more organized thought and cognition is key to success in this field. It has brought me back to the conclusion my mother tried to instill while I was yet a small child, "Use your brain, Sarah, that's why it's been given to you!"