The last Thanksgiving Dinner

'Tis the Season...now and always!

This week I had a grand total of 11 invites to be with family or friends for a Thanksgiving dinner. I declined most of them. After the third feast I didn't really feel like eating any more and felt like a glutton. I did have a last feast today and I must say it was the most enjoyable, well maybe with the exception of spending time with my The Boys and Ellie! This evening I only had a normal size plate of food, even though it was the largest spread out of them all.

I do declare the company was the best! It was very enjoyable and we played Phase 10, a game I like quite a bit and I can't remember when I've laughed that hard without Tyler Marler around, I miss my best friends and the laughter and edification they provide. They are never forgotten, only at a different place and time than me. I hope their Thanksgiving was as great as mine. I can't imagine my side and jaw hurting more than they already do from laughing.

I had some of my very favorite people there: Lacey, Big Al, Tabs, Scotty, Dave, Bryce, Josh, and Joey. There was so much food it was bizarre and we all must have been pretty hungry because we mowed, during this time you could hear a pin drop. Then we played Phase 10 and it was wonderful-the giggles were incredible and jokes were of absolute delight. Diligent Bryce went home teaching and missed out on some of the fun.

I hadn't thought everyone would really be there that was there. There were a few of the people I had invited who declined last minute, and others I didn't think would actually stay and abide the evening. In all honesty the stress of it all threw me for a loop as Scotty pulled up and I knew this evening would test all I am and have been striving to become the past few months.

I wanted to drop the gals off and go to my own home. Lacey saw on my face and knows me well enough-I was thinking about leaving. The look she gave was a concerned, "Don't even think about it Sarah," and asked me if I wasn't going to get out of the car as they got dropped off at the back door. As Scott and I pulled up, he is so kind hearted and selfless, he noted that I was stressed and asked if I was alright. Without thoughtful examination of my response I replied, "This is about my maximum stress level-this is as frazzled as I get." He raised his eyebrows with adoration and said something kind and flattering; I can't recall at this time. Little did he know what was going on inside the mind of lady feeling trapped, tricked, and torn. The Lord doesn't trick you from serving others though...

My heart is like a quaint victorian home with extra beds and a wrap around porch, giving plenty of room for guests and parties, a porch swing for the more intimate moments, a huge yard for everyone to run, play and grow, and acreage to explore nature, imagine, and grant needed freedom from frolicking. There is the safety of a picket fence around this well kept yard with a vegetable garden and fragrant fruit trees, a large oak with a family built tree house, and outdoor fire-pit for those monthly spring, summer, and fall parties. This picket fence remains wide open for visitors, friends, and family. I love being with people, rejoicing with others and mourning when they need companionship in mourning.

However, it seems that once you've come into my yard, ripped up my grass or misused my porch swing I shut the gate and you are no longer welcome. When you come walking by my yard, I act like I don't know you're there, or stand at the other side of the fence debating if I will ever let you in again. This personal argument has a definite possibility of overturn. I continually am amazed at my gift to forgive and talent of forgetting the hurtful things of the past. If I see you come by my yard time after time wondering if you should knock, I will be in my garden pulling the weeds, I see you there, I don't acknowledge you, but I know you are where you are and in time my heart softens and I will open my gate to you once more. Give me the time I need and the real reasons to love you and I will open the gate for you to come and be with me in my heart, my house. We then can play in the sandbox, jump on the tramp or frolic in the woods behind the house. I realize then and only then can my house be made a home.

The evening ended on a high note. Big Al and I were so tired we tried with all of our might to clean up the food between the giggle bursts. There was so much food, I didn't want to waste it, the gals all have meal plans and the guys were bashful about taking the food. Finally Josh just started saying he would take everything. Hallelujah or we would have been there all night making trips to and fro bring things out to the car! Finally we made it out the door and to the driveway and the turkey platter flips out of Tabs hands and flies onto the ground. What a mess and here I am with three ladies laughing loudly at 11 o'clock in the evening. My default would have me laugh with them, but then I realize I am the mother here and we can't leave all this messy turkey on the ground for some poor dog to come and get sick on. I ask them to go and get a bag and kindly remind them it's late and we shouldn't be so loud. We make it down the slick drive and get in the car and drive safely home. They talk about it being the best night of the semester for them. The best night for many of us and all because one friend missed out on Thanksgiving dinner the week before! Thanks Bryce-you're the best! You've helped my heart get off to a great Holiday jump-start and I now fully feel and remember the real reason for the season.

Thank you all for continually filling my heart with love, laughter, and light! May the brightness and cheer of this blessed time of year fill you hearts and homes too! Abide in Him and He will abide in you, that this may happen for us all now and always.

A 50 Lb Bag!

Every other Sunday evening I hold a dinner group at my house. Last night we had breakfast for dinner, it's my favorite meal of the day and I never seem to get more than a yogurt, cottage cheese, soggy cereal, or fruit and a stick cheese (string cheese, but this is what I will be calling it from now on). Last night was so yummy-I was so hungry and the company was so pleasant, we laughed, we worked, and by golly I didn't get any pictures, but the memories will remain. Oodles of french toast, eggs with peppers, homemade purple hash browns, with fresh Oregon blueberry syrup and OJ!!

Besides the conversation, cramped kitchen, and continual sound of laughter, the highlight for me was my friend returning from Idaho and bringing me a bag of potatoes. She and I have really hit it off as of late and I find we have kindred hearts and tear ducts. The thing is she'd tried to convince me last week potatoes from Idaho are just that much better...I was somewhat joking and said, "Sure they are!!" She challenged my disbelief and asked if I'd like a bag to test out. More in jest than not, I agreed and didn't think anything more about the matter. Yesterday she text me asking if I'd like a bag of potatoes. I responded "Yes please," remembering our previous conversation and thought how kind of her! Later that evening she showed up to my house with her Father carrying a 50 Lb bag of potatoes over his shoulder!! I couldn't believe it. I think the biggest bag of potatoes I've ever seen was 10 or 15 Lbs! It was wicked awesome. We will use them for homemade fries with grilled burgers in two weeks, potato pancakes next Saturday morning, and a humungous pot of mashed potatoes for our neighborhood Pre-Thanksgiving feast! Hooray for potatoes and fantastic friends!

I'm going to start carrying my camera in my back pocket-I think this gal from Wisconsin has a lot to learn this semester...who would have ever guessed they sell 50 lb bags of potatoes.

5) Do you love what you do?

In July of 2009 I received the promotion from Access Services Supervisor at the Family History Library to Instructional Designer for the department. I went from training/teaching full time missionaries or employees face to face to sitting at a desk designing 60 hours a week. I would go into work before the sun came up and wouldn't leave until it was going down. I was given the thrilling opportunity to design amazing computer based training for the department and millions of members of the LDS church to utilize and assist them in family history work, yet my heart wasn't fulfilled and my body loathed sitting in a chair 12 hours a day. Then a gentleman and coworker asked me one day what my talents were and was I using them on a daily basis, if I could do anything I wanted to do was it working as an instructional designer? This inspired question brought me back to when I came home from my mission and how I felt compelled to get a masters in Recreational Therapy. I didn't follow through thinking I would go through the nursing program and be satisfied with a bachelors.

The answer to his question was a simple one: No I was not using all of my talents-I am great with computers and training, yet my soul wasn't being fulfilled for I was not living up to my divine destiny. The calling in this life for me-I love people, listening and learning from them. If I had to be inside I would want it to be working with high schoolers teaching seminary/college students as an institute teacher of proclaim other truths that would help them to come unto Him. My missions and other service rendered in the kingdom have made me experience the most incredible joy I cannot yet do it justice by putting it into words.

I also fancy being outside in all seasons. I love planting, gardening all summer long, I like landscaping, working, and using my hands to make anything. I love recreation of all kinds, especially those needing skilled technique (climbing, boarding, sailing, swimming, biking, and fishing) or on playing on sport teams (soccer, ultimate, football, volleyball, tennis, the list seems infinite). My outdoor ideal job would be to work with abused adolescents in the wilderness: facilitating them to find peace in nature and rest within themselves (hiking, camping, fishing, etc). When we spend time away from the distractions of our busy lives we are given to much reflection and vast imaginations, a sense of who we may be is given the chance to flow into our minds-literally bridging the gap between heaven and earth.

I was going back, back to the woman I've always wanted to be: a teacher, a caregiver, and one who has been many places and seen what the world has to offer her inhabitants. Many wonderful things and likewise things that would cause us to live contrary to the manner of happiness if we embrace such. Here we are given the opportunity to act or become stagnant and acted upon. Many times we let the world decide what we should be doing and we lose the rest or peace we find only in Him. It was only after I found out I was suffering from a debilitating disorder I left my job and everything of stability to embark in pursuing my goals, ambitions, and aspire to be true to my own divine destiny.

I now work at a local psychiatric hospital with patients, clinicians, nurses, social workers, and doctors alike. I love the time I am able to spend with the patient and brightening their worlds. It's my goal to make them smile, let them know someone cares with all of their heart about them, and give them a little bit of my love and hope, which he has given me to share with those of whom I associate. Life is grand, it's a gift and may we live and love the work in which we each do-that we may Rest in Him.

2) Freshman and Life on The Circle...

About a year ago I received an opportunity to serve with about 100 freshman and some upper-classmen who are my neighbors on campus. I live, eat and go to school with them. We play and best of all serve together in much love, laughter, and unity. Many of them think coming to college means giving up light hearted, wholesome clean fun for some serious more sophisticated adult expectations of the fast paced competitive world in which we live. Somehow in this race to excel, they lose their glimmer of hope, song of the heart, and innate tendency to long for home...yet in jest I find great excitement in adding small delights to their days here as they learn in the great school called life. Teaching through example, we see others who know life really has no limits except the ones we set...

At the Union this afternoon I met a friend for lunch and as we were leaving, met some more friends on the patio. Here we found some lovely gentlemen and ladies in attire from the same era of the old military vehicles they had on display. There was a young man getting his picture taken by one of these finely dressed blokes and then I had a idea...a marvelous idea we should hop in a military jeep and take a picture too! As I delivered my plan of smiling big and asking these fine people ever so nicely, my young friends said it wouldn't work and it seemed really silly of me to make such a request. Then without much prodding I put on a big smile and with a warm handshake plus some exuberant enthusiasm we were in the car and ready for our picture to be taken. Afterwards my friend thanked me. She was surprised how much fun it really had been.

Another experience of college life is not sweating the small stuff and then figuring out most stuff is small (Thanks John B). I went to bring a house-mate to the airport this morning between classes and a real life experience occurred. House 611 is a co-ed honors house of 6 females and 6 males. I've come to the harsh reality beggars can't be choosers and this is exactly what I am. :o) Carter is one of my brothers here in our house family. He was one of the guys who helped me complete my Halloween dream of dressing up like Lil Red this year and accompanying me as Granny (Carter) and Jack the Woodsman (Kevin). Anyway, this morning I knocked on Dave and Carter's door to see if Dave was ready and all I heard was, "Come in." As I opened the door and took a step into the room there was Carter just chill'n in his boxers. He looked at me with the widest blue eyes-me being paralyzed by the rush of blood to my head stood in shock, then apologized and taking a step backward shut the door to his room. As I collected my faculties and waited outside for him to get dressed, took a few deep breaths taking in what had just happened; I let out a sigh of relief, recognizing that was probably the most comfortable situation it could have been.

At least it was Carter and we have a mutual respect for each other to know it would never be awkward. He comes in the bathroom as I wash my face I come and talk to him in the bathroom as he brushes his teeth. In retrospect I there is so much fun and adventure to live in a house with peeps of similar age and what a benefit we can all be to each other. I came home this evening and he'd lost an assignment in a computer lab, one he'd already redone once this week. Dear Carter was ever so frustrated; Kevin and Anthony were diligently searching for the assignment on his hard drive, but with no avail. In conversation I helped Carter to see his best option was to not fret about the assignment, explain to his professor what happened and finish studying for his Physics exam tomorrow. How absolutely fascinating to be close as friends, brothers, sisters, councilors, tutors, examples, and doctors. We sooth each others pains, sicknesses, heartache, and I love the environment of sharing and love that is maintained in our home. We are a family...a family of friends.

Here in Utah, one of my favorite pastimes is to be out of the city and up in the mountains. I find there to be much growth, strength, symbolism and introspection found in these monuments of grand design. Ky and I went up one Saturday in September. We were trying to find a newer climb without a recent map and the book we had did not contain a trail to the route. I recall having trouble finding it with Josh last fall, but was confident we'd find it that morning. We started at the furthest ridge and ended up going either around or over three more peaks until we came to our destination. By this time we were pooped from our previous climbing, hiking, scaling, and adventures. The strength we had once had was gone leaving us have no desire to climb. Our destination was met and our energy already spent to the leisure of clipping in and pushing up a route. The views we had seen that morning were amazing and some I remember with astounding vividness. We were bruised, battered, and our hearts torn for not getting to the climb without the added detours. Yet, these detours were beautiful and I look upon that day with much fondness. Had we a map to lead our way we would have climbed to even higher peaks that day! We had not a map and looking back can now say...from here on out we'll be better prepared and look forward to May!

Time flies when you're having fun!

It's been almost a year since I've blogged last. It was for my class when I began, but now I have a strong desire to recap the past months and map out where I've been to more fully understand where I may be going.

States I've visited this year: California, Colorado, Idaho, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

Within the next year: Brazil, Mexico, Alaska, and maybe Panama, Chile, Argentina, and Antarctica.

This has been one eventful year:

1) One may have many talents, we must work at them, define them, and pursue ways of integrating them into our lives. I've acquired numerous talents this year, but the two that stand out to me is gaining confidence in my rock climbing ability and practicing the art of the needle-sewing and quilting. By facilitating others love in such recreation is the joy of all that we learn to do ourselves-that we all may teach and be fellow citizens and saints.

2) I love freshman and the University of Utah more than ever-campus rocks and so does living on The Circle. Student life is amazing and the socialization with peers helps one see things for how they really are and will be.

3) I've been gaining a stronger testimony of Relief Society and the amazing role of womanhood. The female sex is that of charity, good will and Savior-hood in reaching for our divine destiny and individual worth. Before the end of this school year I will finish my personal progress and understand the woman who I serve more fully.

4)Brazilians are the bestest! Andrea and Millena I love you more than words can express! So are americans for that matter-Liv, Megs, and Ky I love you all so very much!

5) Working sometimes isn't all it's cracked up to be...or is it? Love what you do and give love to those who need it!

6) After 8 months of continual poking, prodding, and picking, I was able to begin the healing process from TMJD and am hoping to enjoy a Christmas dinner this year without migraines to follow!

7) I love teaching and working with the adolescent population. They are fantastic, whether it's having tea parties, watching movies, learning seminary, building giant snowmen, or going through psychological or detox issues together, or just talking things through I love being around youth and love their desire to do good and be who they were meant to be.

a.I started taking Masters Therapeutic Recreation classes this semester. Not only is the content amazing and life altering to learn, but mentally rewarding to think more outside the box in areas of the world in which there is an overwhelming need for personal expertise. My professors are of the highest caliber-making my time and energy therein thoroughly rewarding.

b. People should pursue their personal dreams, goals, and wishes and encourage all those around them to do likewise-herein lies true happiness friends, and wouldn't it be to live after the manner of happiness?

8) Finding your roots gives greater definition to where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. Genealogy has become not just a hobby, but a desire and passion. Family is one of the roots to happiness!

9) I was able to go back to the mission this year-I loved the time there and it allowed my heart to have time to ponder and heal from the injustices of our time and world. It was where my heart began to grow by leaps and bounds because in teaching God's children he enlarged my capacity to love, love, and love...

10) Most of all-Isn't it about family? I've made numerous visits all over the country this year to see and spend time with my family! It has been the highlight of my life-literally! I made a few trips to Cali to spend time with family and friends, to Colorado to spend time with Sam and all his gals (which is always real R and R-thank you), Huntington is about the same caliber of R and R-Joy and Allan always a pleasure, and last, but very least: In October I was able to go home to Wisconsin and Michigan to my roots and enjoy the company and love of my ever so endearing Schneider family. Whom I adore with every fiber of my heart!

So many lessons learned and time well spent, even if at times I felt as though I was in my personal wilderness. This is what I will be journaling/blogging about until Thanksgiving for we have been taught to always have an attitude of gratitude and I desire to always have the lamp-light glowing in my heart!