Trust in the Lord with all thine heart...has a new meaning for me today.

I have always loved this scripture-in God's infinite wisdom He's taught me to trust Him, in the plan He's prepared for me, and endlessly placing me at the right place in the right time. Countlessly in my heart righteous desires have been granted to me in His time and definitely in His way. Man's thinking continues in paths contrary to the way of Father in Heaven and his will for our lives.

The semester wrapped up for my most challenging group of students today. I was sick and almost numb in feeling as they left the classroom this morning. I love them, but not as much as I could have, unconditionally, or inasmuch as the Lord warms us with His embrace. I am on the list for full-time teaching next year, which was a goal I set out to achieve. I should be ecstatic and filled with joy! I am and yet the fear of my inadequacy to love them resides deep within the most solemn confines of my soul. I need to love them with my whole heart and not a partial or conditional love which I've based on many aspects of their challenging teenage lives (sleep deprivation, broken homes, AP classes, college application, peer pressure, rampant pornography, drug and alcohol addition.) They are in continual pull and distraction from the principles and doctrines of Godliness which they have been sent to earth, to search out, analyze, and apply through personal achievement.

I'd been home from the mission less than a month, out with a spank'n new greenie on exchanges, and she asks me what's the greatest thing I learned as a missionary. Almost impulsively I answer, "It's all about the love, it's always been about the love, it's still about the love, and it will always be about the love-there is no greater power in the universe!" In retrospect of the last year of my life I've lost sight of this knowledge and gift the good Lord has bestowed upon me! In October it began to cycle back into my life as I rekindled damaged relationships after a friend came home from his mission. A dear friend of mine has struggled in living her life the past few months, but is greatly rebounding as she serves those around her. I see Him in her and I recognize the incredible power of His love in our lives if we merely just let in His light to shine through our actions.

As a missionary, and now as a teacher, I am asked questions where the spirit refrains me from answering anything other than, "Follow your heart, it won't lead you astray!" Yet this is conditional with almost the unsaid clause; if you trust in the Lord with all thine heart, then it won't lead you astray. In the past twenty-four hours I've had a pretty harsh reality check, making my mind mill around in memories of the past year. I had a distinct impression to judge not and to follow my heart in June. Due to my own misperceptions I let some of my most valued relationships go awry through the allowance of pride, arrogance, and doubt, all of which continue to get in the way of my personal happiness.

Whenever I am sick, the Lord takes the time to teach me as I lay in bed trying to rest my body. Over the past few days each afternoon I've come home to take a nap. Today all I could do is lay and reminisce how if I would just TRULY TRUST in the LORD with ALL thine HEART, I wouldn't question, I wouldn't wallow, I would merely move forward to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. Everyone deserves second semesters in life! I'm ever grateful for His loving Atonement that make this all possible.

The Only Synonym for Covenants is Love Story

The Director of Seminaries and Institutes spoke at a fireside last night. I love this man and his ability to listen to the brethren, teach by the Spirit and follow His promptings no matter where or what audience he is about to teach.

Last evening he spoke of keeping covenants. This has been something that has stood out in my mind maybe about the past 9 months or so...How serious is it that we keep our covenants? What is our accountability level on the covenants we make in this life? What if someone else severely compromises a covenant made that we too have been blessed to partake in?

About two years ago while working at the Family History Library I had a co-worker who was married within the everlasting covenant. She's had children and her marriage ended in divorce due to her husbands chance in sexual preference. This woman is a saint and someday when I grow-up I want to be just like her, she's grateful for ever hardship she's received in this life and they come to her on a weekly if not daily basis. She so kindly pointed out to me as we've talked about marriage and the covenants made there in aren't just merely made between you and your spouse, but with the Lord Jesus Christ. She asked me a profound question, it has brought me much hope in the prospects of marriage even though I tread very leery on the concepts of being with someone forever, she asked when spouses go through a session together, where do they sit in the session? From here on out she let the Spirit teach me and I take great application in what Chad Webb was striving to teach last night.

I worked as a contracted employee last year and when it ended, both parties were very clear that it was over. No second thoughts, tears, hard feelings, or forms of reconciliation. Whereas when we make covenants with the Lord there are always second chances, in fact His mercy extends into 3rds, 4ths, and through seven times seven (Hebrew translation is infinitely many). God didn't design a plan he thought we'd fail in pursuing, on the contrary the best engineers make plans that are fool-proof. What kind of plan do you think our Loving Father in Heaven has made for us? I'm not a parent, but when I am, I want my kids to love home so much they feel comfortable coming home for summer vacations, holidays, sunny afternoons, just to play, talk or share, and most importantly when they feel like there is no where else to go, home will always be a place of refuge from the storms of life.

In teaching seminary we talk a lot about being covenant people, we still to this day may receive the blessings of the Abraham, for we are of the house of Israel. Covenants are a key part of who we were, what we act like now, and the blessings we have in-store and those of a noble birthright. In last conference Elder Russell M. Nelsen told us what the greatest compliment we could be called in this life. I'll let you feel and find it out for yourself:

Be a Covenant Keeper

This is indeed the greatest love story of all time. Everything the Father does for His children is out of Love-the grandest power in the universe! No matter how often we forsake Him and His plan, His Son, and the promptings of The Holy Ghost; they will never forsake and will always forgive us.

Recreational Therapy and the Light of the Lord

So this will be my second week working as a Site Manager for the YMCA's after school program in Taylorsville. I love working with the kids-they are wonderful and I love watching their lives brighten as they feel loved, encouraged, and validated. It is so rewarding to be with them! They are so brilliant and I know the Lord indeed has saved them for these latter-days! They are definitely wiser and more adept than I was in the second grade. Amazing and I love them so much! It's also an awesome opportunity to work with their parents and see the countless family dynamics and interactions of how various cultures interact and respect each other.

In just the past few days I've learned so very much! My colleagues are incredible and the love they too exhibit their passion for the kids we work to improve their quality of life. It's incredible and I love it-I can't remember the last job, not only did the time fly, but I not only knew I was benefiting the lives of those whom I was serving, but could feel it. I leave there recharged, thrilled about life and have a greater desire to do good in the world in which we live.

It is true they have so much energy and zeal for life, but I feel as though this energy is transferred inadvertently to me and I benefit greatly all in the same. Everyone is a team, working together for the common good of mankind and the last time I worked in such a capacity was the summer I came home from the mission. I loved it then and have always healed the fondest memories of that first summer home. Funny as we allow the world to influence the way we think we feel about things, the further we get from what REALLY brings us true happiness!

Seminary was also phenomenal today! I had a realization of something I learned in college course year before last. This generation in which we live is that of technology, television, and video games. I have realized in spending time with younger children, the best way to help my students is by getting them out of their seats and moving forward into their futures, by actively participating in what will help them pull out the principles and ordinances in their lives, thus in the years to come, they will be pulling out the principles as they immerse themselves in the scriptures. Which has brought me to a new way of getting them to do their journals for next semester. Principles and Doctrines-it all comes back to these-in every aspect of our lives.