May We Shout for Joy as We are Filled with His Love

In the third grade my teacher wanted us to learn about our ethnic backgrounds, where our families were from, how long ago they immigrated, and some interesting stories.  It came right around a time when my dad and I went and spent a few days with my Grandfather Schneider.  It's astounding to me the vivid recall I have of the detail of these stories as I search for the generations who've lived before.  I love family history.  After that summer, I learned at the local family history library how to look through microfilm and microfiche.  Honestly, what nine year old has the patience to sit and scroll through records?  The darling sister pushed me at the library so hard that I took time away from the hobby until 2007 I took employment with the Family History Department for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I could feel my kindred dead calling for me, beckoning me to establish a lineage and link us together.  

Working for the department for three years was a life changing experience in so many ways.  I started with shelving books and helping customers.  Next, I worked with communication and team building for employees and missionaries.  Then teaching technology to employees and missionaries and in my last year I trained missionaries with special needs and employees ending as an instructional designer.  I loved all, but the latter and even it has it's perks in developing skills and furthering my innate love in the research of people.  I missed teaching and training.  The interaction with missionaries and young employees brought me to where I am today.  

I taught seminary for two years and in the midst of it all I had forgotten, why I wanted to teach seminary in the first place.  It was to be around my favorite population...those who learn a little bit different that those in the mainstream population.  I have had fantastic friends my whole life who've had needs that may seem deviate from the norm.  We shouldn't be biased or play favoritism, it's not a Christ-like characteristic, yet these are my favorite people to spend time around.  It is their goodness I crave, the kindness is seen in their eyes, and their ability to be like little children ensures they will be the first to inherit the kingdom of Heaven.

As I teach children, especially those of this audience I am filled with two things:  The first, a desire to allow others to choose.  Even if the choices may be viewed as wrong, we all need to choices to progress and become like God the Father.  Why else would we have fought so valiantly to come to earth and pick what we are doing of our own accord.  Agency is one of the fundamental principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  What blows my mind is we picked to come here, knowing we'd be tried, tested, and given diseases, hardships, and even imperfections in our bodies and we "Shouted for Joy" in acceptance to the Great Plan of Happiness our Father has for each and everyone of His children.  Even those who knew they would come and not given a voice, those would be deaf, have palsy, deformities, and even blindness, my speculation is they were the ones who shouted the loudest, being grateful enough to foresee what lay before them, but humble enough to submit to the Father's will.

Which leads me to my second objective; as I research my ancestors I find an increased to desire to spend more time with my earthly family.  Call the ones who are geographically distant, and get together with those who are within a reasonable proximity and even those who aren't. :D Yet when we are filled with this kind of love it not only stops and our traceable bloodlines, but the Family of our Heavenly Parents.  All of our brothers and sisters here on this earth all embarking in the same journey.  I find myself trying to hold back in teaching at the YMCA because I'm borderline to friendly...isn't it a shame we live in a world of such lasciviousness and sin that being too nice can put one in at risk for accusations which would never cross the minds of those who truly represent Him who is Might to Save?  Regardless, I don't mind for the increased ability to love helps me to see things as they really are and as they really will be.  I love my kids, in patting them on the shoulder, letting them hug (for their are many who suffer greatly from a lack of love) and even at times kiss my cheeks, if the resulting consequence is to lose one job and find another then so be it, for I will never refuse to share my love with those He has sent me to, in so doing allowing them to also feel a portion of His love.

It is a full circle, as we take time to research, perform the marvelous work for our dead, we are better suited to be among the living.  Upon all things there are predicated blessings and I know this to be one of eternal worth in my life as in others around me.

Oh Be Wise....is Only the Tip of the Iceberg

A couple of months ago I moved wards and it's been one of the most challenging changes of my life.  I'm unsure if it was merely my situation at the time or the harsh reality of where I am in life and where I'd pictured being.  Now I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be in aligning my will with the Father's so I will remain trekking on the path I know will allow me to grow closer to Him.  In the past few weeks I've contemplated greatly the difference between bring Child-like and Childish.  The doctrine is clear, there is a distinguishable difference.  I was impressed, in October general conference when the prophets and apostles spoke of children, in the application sense of us becoming like them, the pre-cursing condition is one of little children.  I work with students everyday; there is a distinguishable difference between my preschoolers and the attributes they possess and the shenanigans displayed by the older kids.  

As I've contemplated, in thought and in conversation with some of my closest friends, I've only recently concluded the variance of the two and it's significance and application in my own life.  Let me illustrate my thought process by the two following examples:

A few years ago I went out on New Years Eve to two different parties.  The first gatherings crowd was a little bit older in age, about twenty seven and upwards, making me the youngest on there by years. I was bored, unamused, and unquestionably immature.  I wanted to play games, talk to each other, in gist  feel the excitement of being alive! Needless to say, I left feeling let down and determined not to lose myself to what I perceived as an apathetic attitude towards life.  The next party I went on towards we played basketball, talked with each other openly, and set new years resolutions.  These friends were in their early twenties, spontaneous, enthusiastic, and full of what I viewed as life.

Moving into this new ward I have a group of friends who seem to like recreation as much as I do...yet I find them to be less committal with their time and the enthusiasm towards spending time participating in what I have come to value and know as part of my "life-line."  Again, I found myself asking, "Why aren't they into it?" Where's the zeal for life?  How are they not absolutely thrilled out of their skins to be alive?  Then I am the one called crazy because I make bread, do dishes for people, donate things I do for anyone anyway, but I'm the crazy one....something wasn't adding up for me and I understand math more than most...so I was left at a standstill.

Life was amiss as I knew it, most of all I knew God knew it. I was on a mission to figure out how to grow up...it took me falling asleep at a musical at 8 pm in the evening, praying persistently to comprehend what I am supposed to be learning, having my old Bishop text me, and a willingness to see the childishness in previous decisions I've been making then motivation to change, staying up until 4 am, dating advice from 20 year olds, etc, waking up tired because I wasn't ensuring adequate rest.  Then one night as I spent time with my 4 1/2 year old doll of a nephew.  I watched him struggle to stay awake through dinner, a game, and reading.  He was so tired he didn't even want to have a snowball fight....it hit me.  The order of priorities in his world was out of synch.  Life isn't fun if you aren't rested or feel rest.  The salt seems to loose it's savor, being good for not.  It is much the same in being an adult.  There is a wisdom and order to all things.  We have all of eternity to progress and apply what we are learning line upon line, precept upon precept.  I revamped my schedule and it looks much like I would picture a grown-ups to be.  Going to bed early, it wouldn't strike anyone else as spectacular, but it's my life and thus as I turn it over to Him is becomes absolutely exhilarating!

I had a blessing about two months ago telling me as I am obedient to the promptings I receive (a new job, a new ward, new friends, new roommates, etc) I will learn wisdom that I will be able to share with others and continue to apply throughout the rest of my life.  Like many other instances of growth in life, this is the tip of the iceberg and what is going on is much deeper and unseen to the natural eye.  It's a good thing I too know I'm made for deep water, better deeper than shallow.