There was a man on the mission and this was a statement he would say with more enthusiasm than I have ever heard! I spent time with a close friend this evening. He and I have been through major trails of our faith together and through it all he's become one of my greatest friends. He listened to me talk about my concerns this evening, asked introspective questions about my thoughts and feelings in a situation I was expressing to him. What we were discussing comes from the deepest chasms of my heart. Oh how blessed I am to have a friend that wouldn't judge in the least or penetrate me with questions for more information than I was willing to express. We sat in chairs for a bit as I joked and asked if he was holding a PPI. We both thought this was funny. He is a good listener, thinker, and the love I was able to feel through him exercising his God given authority was quite humbling.
The direction and love of the Lord we may experience through the service of others is immeasurable! I not only was able to feel it, but it penetrated my heart, filled me with comfort, specific direction, and confirmation of many things I'd already felt and knew. He has been having a hard month, getting close to propose to his girlfriend and yet he was willing to forget and put aside his trials and tribulations that mine may be addressed in and through him. Awesome-God answers prayers and we feel his love through our friends, his angels! Thanks JD!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
My long lost love...
My freshman year at Utah State my best friend Emm and I looked into the Photography classes and programs. It was one thing that bonded us together besides, running, biking, tennis, and soccer. Something we could actually talk about, have opinions about and not be challenging to each other. It was an awesome hobby for me-it became an other form of art for me. Besides the drawing, sculpting, and painting of my precollege experience I had found a love in the dark room, seeing lines, lighting, structure, and the many art forms in the world around us, just there for the shooting, with a camera that is...
I have begun to forget how amazing life looks through a lens. I don't know what happened, it may have been the mission where you take so many pictures that the art forms in them are lost and the time is so much more consuming in catching a quick moment, it can seem more of a hassle and the love and passion for the outcome is lost in the shuffle. Five months after I was home, my shooting camera Pentax 67 SLR was stolen and maybe that had something to do with it too! Either way looking for specs that make a high quality pic and looking for the form in the pictures had begun to escape me view. Funny how we merely need to be around a passion for a brief moment and there it is in our face, ready to return. I took pics this weekend on a not so great camera, but better than nothing and fun to get my mind back in the groove. Friends that let you shoot while doing whatever are the absolute best!
I have begun to forget how amazing life looks through a lens. I don't know what happened, it may have been the mission where you take so many pictures that the art forms in them are lost and the time is so much more consuming in catching a quick moment, it can seem more of a hassle and the love and passion for the outcome is lost in the shuffle. Five months after I was home, my shooting camera Pentax 67 SLR was stolen and maybe that had something to do with it too! Either way looking for specs that make a high quality pic and looking for the form in the pictures had begun to escape me view. Funny how we merely need to be around a passion for a brief moment and there it is in our face, ready to return. I took pics this weekend on a not so great camera, but better than nothing and fun to get my mind back in the groove. Friends that let you shoot while doing whatever are the absolute best!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Crème brûlée
Have you ever tried Crème brûlée? In the movie My Best Friend's Wedding, Julia Roberts makes the most idiotic contradiction between Crème brûlée and Jello. Stating that sometimes we just want Jello. This is a hard place to put oneself, sometimes Jello is a refreshing treat;the kind with rainbow layers, concoctions with fresh fruits, or my favorite with cream cheese, fruit, and whipped topping. The latter yielding more of a cream consistency than that of the others. What can I say I'm not the Jell-o gal! Even though I may have grown up on simplistic Jell-o, yet it's not my favorite and I know what I want now and won't ever be able to feel the ignorant blissful satisfaction!
I moved down to live in Salt Lake with my Grandpa Phil while attending the University of Utah. He loved going out to eat, I've never been a big fan, but I saw the opportunity to try foods I've merely heard about in life. One evening, early on in my time here in Salt Lake we ate at Little America. At the end of the meal he insisted I choose a dessert, even though I'm not a huge dessert person, especially after eating a full meal. He persisted and I opted for Crème brûlée. It was like no other indulgence I'd experienced-the smooth and rich delectable vanilla bean flavor and creamy consistency penetrating my mouth was without comparison to anything I'd previously experienced.
It is well known by those I associate with that this is my all time favorite of favorites! I have my own french recipes from France, porcelain ramekins, and even a propane cooking torch to cook the sugar tops on each delicious dessert! There are actually a few different flavors to this lovely french display. My personal choice is made with vanilla beans, some lemon zest, and a fruit medley atop consisting of blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries. I love fruit and milk, or fruit and Ice cream, why would this fine dish differ? Still keeping it simple, but quite the process when making it from scratch!
I still love slushies,ice cream sundays with hot fudge and peanuts, and these amazing cherry flavored wax topped ice cream cone. Yet when I want it real, a taste tantalizing to savor, and make the caloric intake worthwhile; when given the option, I will always opt for my favorite flavor of crème brûlée!
I moved down to live in Salt Lake with my Grandpa Phil while attending the University of Utah. He loved going out to eat, I've never been a big fan, but I saw the opportunity to try foods I've merely heard about in life. One evening, early on in my time here in Salt Lake we ate at Little America. At the end of the meal he insisted I choose a dessert, even though I'm not a huge dessert person, especially after eating a full meal. He persisted and I opted for Crème brûlée. It was like no other indulgence I'd experienced-the smooth and rich delectable vanilla bean flavor and creamy consistency penetrating my mouth was without comparison to anything I'd previously experienced.
It is well known by those I associate with that this is my all time favorite of favorites! I have my own french recipes from France, porcelain ramekins, and even a propane cooking torch to cook the sugar tops on each delicious dessert! There are actually a few different flavors to this lovely french display. My personal choice is made with vanilla beans, some lemon zest, and a fruit medley atop consisting of blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries. I love fruit and milk, or fruit and Ice cream, why would this fine dish differ? Still keeping it simple, but quite the process when making it from scratch!
I still love slushies,ice cream sundays with hot fudge and peanuts, and these amazing cherry flavored wax topped ice cream cone. Yet when I want it real, a taste tantalizing to savor, and make the caloric intake worthwhile; when given the option, I will always opt for my favorite flavor of crème brûlée!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Ode to Love
Who are you and what have you done with my walls?
I lent you my heart and I'd like it back for some renovations!
You didn't ask me how long you could stay...
I didn't know you would bring guests to play.
I have gladly given you mine, why must you hold back yours?
Oh, the thrill of excitement, the jest, and the touch.
Your whit and the tickle-I like you so much!
As your eyes look into mine I find myself being swept away
To a place I've not been for a while.
When you're close I can't imagine any place that I'd rather be...
Only in your arms having you care and look after me!
The complications of love, how I wish they would flee
In your company of wonderment I finally feel Free!
Free from the sorrow, free from all care, free from the memories
Times in the past I haven't been able to share.
You've given me a chance to open my innermost parts
In this dramatic process I fear you've run off with my heart!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Friends or family first?
Last October I went home for my cousins wedding in Michigan. Growing up we would see these cousins about once a month and because of the geographical distance they would come to our home approximately once a year. Annually I make it to my brother's place in Colorado, this is usually the best rest and relaxation I receive, but heading home to the midwest was the greatest vacation imaginable! It wasn't so much about whose house we were at, how we were dressed, or even what we were doing! It was spending time with our family, those who in the pre-existence we decided it would be amazing to cherish, love, and come here and help each other make it home.
High school was the beginning of a transitional point in my life, moving to Utah and embracing the gospel of Christ, the mission, other callings, and now, by His Spirit, teaching what I've learned and applied to others; my life is in constant transition and change as I progress to become the whom I am meant to be. For the past few years I've had friends to replace some of the roles of my family members. It was a lot less complicated and who needs the extra drama-I have enough to last through the eternities-exactly that-to last through the eternities! I love my family despite our vast differences and views on politics, religion, and a wide array of things that matter, yet not what matters most. As I have been spending time with my friends and their families I long to be with mine and to promote and atmosphere of loving kindness in these important and supposed eternal relationships.
Those on whom you can rely. One reason I've recognized family must be first: when all is said and done, they are the ones who you can call in times of distress, turmoil, and then in rejoicing and good news! A return to the baptismal covenant-to morn with those that morn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort-the love we must possess for our extended family-that of our Eternal Father-the whole human race. Let's look at this family relationship for a moment: Father sent His Only Begotten Son in the flesh to demonstrate His unconditional love for us. We know there is a mother in Heaven above too. Who are their other children? All of the souls living and growing around us. Do we exhibit the same amount of love and care as our Heavenly Parents and Elder Sibling has for us? How do we emulate these superior beings when with our parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews? What may we do to be better? When do we chose to spend time with them-in times of need, joy, convenience, or in consistency?
I was climbing yesterday with one of my sisters (from and another mister), Olivia Macey (Wright). We talked about the very best of friends last throughout the years, and when you have the opportunity and convenience of seeing them, it is all as if no time has elapsed because what your friendship has been based on-some sort of true principles. You have a relationship of love and the sincerest kind of trust. One void of backbiting, manipulation and pride. Looking back the past 10 years I have been given the most amazing friends-those who lift, build, and encourage me to stand on higher ground. Spending time with them makes me want to love my family more than I already do.
When we get back home-to the place of our spiritual birth I want everyone present to welcome me there! Family is something we make out of what we've been given, friends are those we've chosen to amplify all other relationships and be our angels along the way. God has blessed me with so many angels!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Truth be Told
Truth is how things have been, they are, and as they really will be. The last month has been one of the most intensive life-changing experiences of my life!
It has been heart wrenching, inspirationally exciting, and fills me with gratitude for the tender mercies extended to everyone on a daily basis by the Lord himself. Thank Him for His mercy and long-suffering since the beginning of time.
Heart wrenching: Living on campus was an adventure I was willing to embark on merely because I knew it was the right thing. I didn't initially want to be living at 611 Officers' Circle. I felt somewhat forced through inspiration to go and live here. I gave up nannying by 4 brothers from another mother, my wonderful lil labradoodle, and the comfort of a home in Holladay with a garden plot only this dirt surfing hippie gal has dreamed of my whole life! Not pleased, but trusted in the Lord. Last year the residents in 611 became my very best friends, we served in callings, on student boards, cooked, celebrated holidays, and even still see each other now and again by planning to do so.
It has been heart wrenching, inspirationally exciting, and fills me with gratitude for the tender mercies extended to everyone on a daily basis by the Lord himself. Thank Him for His mercy and long-suffering since the beginning of time.
Heart wrenching: Living on campus was an adventure I was willing to embark on merely because I knew it was the right thing. I didn't initially want to be living at 611 Officers' Circle. I felt somewhat forced through inspiration to go and live here. I gave up nannying by 4 brothers from another mother, my wonderful lil labradoodle, and the comfort of a home in Holladay with a garden plot only this dirt surfing hippie gal has dreamed of my whole life! Not pleased, but trusted in the Lord. Last year the residents in 611 became my very best friends, we served in callings, on student boards, cooked, celebrated holidays, and even still see each other now and again by planning to do so.
This school year was a bit of a different story. I was diagnosed with TMJD last August and went through various treatments, seeing countless specialists, and a triage of medications-drugs and I don't do well together, quite the toxic relationship. However, I had the most amazing people in my life to assist me on a daily basis as I was either unable to drive, stay awake, or even stand up against those who opposed all I supported on campus as President of a student group and the magnification of a calling. The councilors like Kylie, helped me survive by taking over when I would pass out from the meds, Jessica was always there to step up to the plate in planning activities and letting me freely kidnap her (best story EVER!), and Lacey was the shining STAR through it all! My most meek and kind friend. She was so much more than a secretary, but a confident, advisor, and compass in so many aspects of my life. Idaho raises so much more than humongous potatoes! More like the best people ever! I stayed in the house to fulfill roles I would have otherwise struggled in.
In sacrificing for what I'd been called I lost three souls of whom I thought to have been my best friends-the ones you can't imagine heaven without? I had grace extended by many, by moving items, storing items, and providing me with weekend get-a-ways from the stress of my disorder and the various situations I'd been placed into grow. It was a hard year and when looking back I would go through it all over again to gain the experience, knowledge, and wisdom I have been granted. There is so much politics involved in University life and it amazes me how low stress it is to live off campus and be given so much freedom to do as we please. Yet there was a sense of community provided through the atmosphere of locality, many got their mail, meals, and munchies from the same place-creating quite the interchange between neighbors. It was a beautiful place to call my home and like the other missions of my life deserves the title-hood of Home.
Inspirationally Exciting: Teaching has always been a pastime I have enjoyed doing! It runs in my veins, not just a talent from the life before this present existence, but my Daddy wanted to be a teacher instead of an engineer, his siblings are teachers, principles, and super-intendants. My mom's family has the same teaching dynamics going on too. In high school I participated in work-study my sophomore and junior years. I worked in a 3rd grade classroom with Mrs. Eliason, who had actually done her student teaching in my 1st grade classroom at Sunset Elementary while I attended there.
Starting as a freshman in college, I tutored biology and chemistry at Utah State. I love seeing other people get what they are wanting to learn or study. This love was enhanced while serving an LDS mission in Spokane Washington for 19 months. While in the mission field, I recognized and value the capacity teaching has to change and even save lives. Inspired teaching facilitates not only the learner an invaluable experience, but the teacher likewise in the same fulfillment. I came home and thought I would be a nurse, but it wasn't for me, that is a profession for my mother. I love teaching! I love watching others receive light! It is a psychological process wherein if one takes the time to observe the behaviors and physical manifestations of the learning process it is quite obvious how individuals learn. Teaching is an individual matter.
Once home from the mission, I finished up my bachelors and undergrad certificates at the University of Utah. In so doing, I noted the qualities and attributes of acceptable teacher and professors versus the ones with phenomenal talent and ability in teaching. There are many differences, the first and foremost being-HEART. If your heart is in the subject you are teaching the energy provided through your passion becomes contagious and spreads to all involved-yielding learning as a rewarding. It was back around this time I recall enrolling in a teaching seminary institute class. It ended up not fitting into my schedule, but I knew someday I would come to perfect my teaching skills. That Someday began two years ago and since that time I've been working towards become a seminary teacher.
God works with our righteous desires-no matter how much we give up on ourselves, our hopes, and our dreams, He never will. He's planted in our hearts these amazing gifts and talents-we just need to do our part in refining or talents. Even after an insanely busy schedule last semester I was able to teach for seminary evaluation...low and behold...it was good! It was definitely a crunch to fit into my schedule and I believe I'm still a bit sleep deprived from early morning rising, but it's allowed me to realize the sacrifices so many have made that youth can be fed the truth, straight-undiluted. I have been training this week-it has lifted me and I recognize, whether it's in my home, in a seminary, or even an institute. I love teaching about the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is nothing bigger and better than that!
Attitude of Gratitude: We may know that the tender mercies of the Lord are continually upon us as we live worthy and keep His commandments. I am grateful for a warm home I have to live in, to have a sister so close and rejoice in the time we spend together as a family (Sunday dinners, gardening, spending time as Aunti Sari, family prayer etc.), and lately it's been a man that encourages me to think, love, laugh, and to take part in all of the most marvelous adventures life has to offer.
This man's name is Blue. Those eyes are the like the ocean and no matter how great the swimmer or sailer, it is easy to get lost in them...those eyes. His smile lights up not only a room, but my life, there is something deep within my soul that jumps when he smiles/shines and he's always smiling and filling the air with his laughter-it's contagious. There's so much to smile about in this life-I love living and am so glad to be here on earth! Laughter is life's medicine and I think I could live in complete bliss with him as the rhythm to skip to as life's beat. I don't know if I've ever paid attention to such wittiness in an individual-he takes the cake. Blue just simply deserves all the attention I can give him. He's honest, sincere, and as real as they come. He's open with life experiences and I thank the good Lord he's been through what he has so I too can learn and grow from listening to what he sees fit to share. Blue makes me contemplate and re-evaluate...maybe there is something missing from my life? I can't go back to imagining life without him in it, it's as if he's just always been there! To take him out of my life's equation may be more painful than I can stand to bear. He is like the Peanut Butter; thus making me the Jelly. Oh Blue...I truly love you!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Spiritually Sound Sistas
The last month has been one of extremes and I am glad to say things are finally settling so that I may take a slight breather!!
I was grateful for the chance to focus on school the last month and try to pull things together after taking care of my Grandma. Over the past two years while serving as a Relief Society President, in most part to Freshman sisters on Campus, I have been given the opportunities, trials, and challenges to find myself in merely losing myself. I have solidified the truth-God's ways are not our ways, yet we are given the blessings of hearkening unto Him to try our patience, faith, and love as a disciple unto Him. He knew what He was doing from the very beginning...I may have doubted, questioned, or even rebelled in my lack of understanding in His ways. Yet through it all I must admit I relied on the strength of the Lord, and getting by with a little help from my friends-my sisters.
I grew up with very little faith in women, in their word, and in the design of maternal femininity. After all, we do live in a man's world of competition, corporation, and overall corruption. It has come to my attention I have no desire to compete in any of that! In hindsight, which always seems a little better than it's counterpart-foresight, I once was almost at the top of a corporate ladder, moving from a position of level 4 to that of a supervisor's level 21, in less than a two year period (the corporation tops out at a level 26 with it's leaders or "CEO's" as they are called in the business setting. I found after quickly moving to the top, it wasn't were I wanted to be. Other's styles in leadership were of a competitive selfish nature which contrasts my personal and life-long thought process of leaving no one behind with no empty chairs. I greatly disliked it-being promoted to an office, closed off from my peers, colleagues, and friends. I found I was left with a plethora of shallow working relationships. This compelled me to open up my heart and find what/where the Lord wanted me to be and do with my life-not what and where the world wanted me to be.
The call...I had a visitor at work one Friday afternoon. He took me by surprise and was my biggest challenge to living on campus. He had torn my heart, giving me cause to re-evaluate, lick my wounds, and plead for the Lord's intervention in my life. As He promises; His arm was outstretched still and he pulled me into a calling that would change my heart and outlook on womanhood FOREVER. While prayerfully deciding where to live for the upcoming year I knew I was to remain on campus and study in the Engineering house. I accepted the call as Relief Society President, not knowing before hand the things which I should do...I love Nephi and his unwavering faith in the Lord. This calling changed my life, it has made me a better teacher, mother, sister, and friend.
A few experience that stand out in my mind:
There is a mother in all of us: A ward activity was held to celebrate our new ward this year at a sister's families home in Murray. A mist the festivities, these darling new friends started calling me mom and mother-due to my calling and responsibilities. I recall it rubbing me the wrong way-in my mind I viewed this as infering I was old and put a halt to the name no sooner had it started. Weeks later I had learned to see the forenamed title of the utmost reverence, responsibility, and respect. His children will always naturally yearn for a mother figure, they had been homesick-in need of friends, hungry to be nourished by the good word, and needed a capacity to serve-using their God given talents. After these small realizations of the name "Mother," I yearned for it; had I realized at the time I would have embraced such a title versus even shunning the thought of being a mother to these dear ones He calls His. Thank you Mary and Carter for such a kind title in the opportunity to serve as a mother to many!
Being approachable, kind, and caring for the heads that hang down: In my two school years of serving, there were many who needed callings and either didn't understand the magnification process of giving their time and talents to building up the Kingdom of God, or that all we do in the church we do for Him. I can think of a couple of sisters that went straight to the Bishop instead of trying to approach me with their questions and concerns. A slightly awkward process, considering the Bishop always sides with those whom the Lord's called, and then refers the Relief Society President to go and talk to the sister who came in to see him. As the wise Clement's gave council, "Women get all wrapped up in emotion, they have a hard time talking to another woman who wants to go out and solve problems instead of a woman who will passively sit back and listen to them." At the time I received this, it was meant to lift my heart and be of cheer for the motivation and ability I have to work, work, and work. Instead through a friend and councilor, I've learned the value of listening, just to be the ear and lift the heads of those that hand down. Thanks to those Women who needed someone who just needed a woman to embrace your manly and emotional issues instead of solve them for you. I've learned to listen, give sound positive encouragement, and the good Lord will give the wisdom to solve your own problems in His own way and in His own time. Listening is love-thanks Lacey for loving me enough to sit back and listen on countless occasions.
Nothing but Heart: A pseudo Father reminded me the principle of balance, which King Benjamin so plainly teaches-even in the things of the heart. When I attempt to accomplish anything, I usually begin with the motto, "Go Big or Go Home." Since I'm already home, I have no other option than Go Big! Words of Wisdom were spoken between Brother Scott and I, as I described a hiking trail in the valley close to each of our homes: we zig-zag back and forth on medium to high ground; eventually yielding higher ground, elevating our immediate position with gradual transition. In hiking you always seem to have the option of the straight ascent to the top, most likely treacherous, unruly, and no places to rest and catch your breath. One may become quickly fatigued, overwhelmed, and give up only to find themselves taking the switch backs once foreseen as time consuming and a painstakingly slow process. God fills our lives with switchbacks-that we may accomplish things with all of our heart and not losing heart in the process. Thanks Bro Scott and all the others who encouraged me to fully extend my heart along the way!
Love, love, love: Not only is this one of my favorites by the Beetles, but a true principle of the Restored Gospel of Christ. I once had an investigator on the mission named Rod Dee. He emphatically stated, "God is Love and Love is God, there's nothing bigger and better than that sister...nothing bigger and better...!" It still rings just as loud and clear to me in my mind as much as it did that warm summer day in August on McKenzie Street in Washington State. For our Father, His Son, and every other member of the Godhead who cares and watched out for our well being, everything they do, encourage others to do, and allow to happen for our growth is rooted in the immense and unconditional love they have for each and every child they possess. This doctrine has lead me to self evaluate on a continual basis, "Why do I do what I do? Is it out of the love for the individual, the group, family, or even myself?" There is a certain expectation in this world to be lovers of ourselves-I have found the love needed for self is limited to that of personal prayer, scripture study, temple attendance, sacrifice of offerings, commandment keeping, and a few other gifts He's given us to help us get through the daily grind. Everything else worth spending time doing is devoting time to building up others. Hopefully we don't keep ourselves so busy we forget to share our His love with others along our journey we call life. Thanks to all of those who have allowed me to love, serve, and have fun with each of you on a regular basis in varied capacities. A life with out love, is a life not worth living. Love on...IT'S YOUR CHOICE!
The service rendered in my calling has bonded me to life to some of my closest and dearest friends. I haven't chosen my roommates, besides the family I have lived with, since being home from the mission until now...I live with Lacey Love, or the Lobseter, or Lafonda, there is pretty much a new one made up for her on a consistent basis. Shannon, or more commonly known as Sha-nay-nay, Twinner, and Jaycee Johnson- a.k.a. Kim with more names to come. These ladies light up my life and I enjoy their drastically different personalities and ability to assist in keeping me pumped about life and grounded insomuch that I don't float away...
We moved in a month ago and I must confess it has been one of the most fun of my life! We work together as a team, building our house into a home. We've planted a reasonable large vegetable garden, are sprouting an array of flowers indoors to be planted at a later date, and moved literally tons of bricks to construct our own make-shift patio. We've moved in a houseful of furniture, replaced a the kitchen sink, lopped off all the side yard bushes, grown grass from seed, cleared gravel and our recent endeavor was pruning a fruit tree and yanking out multiple side growths root and all. Man-up right Nay? We've had multiple late night fiestas, our first BBQ was a smash, and our first in the In-the-Hood dinner guest (Thanks Davey!). Our Seasonal glasses bring us much Joy and hope they do to you as you venture your way to our humble abode. Last weekend we went camping with Bro Town and enjoyed the trip even though we were rained out, at least we got to swim and roast mallows together!! We've gone to a music concert together and even scored the first ever autographed copy of "Wherez Anna." Future investments begin while you're young and we've decided to invest in each other and make these friendships last!
The things I treasure most about my roommates: We all bring such different things to the table.
Lacey's love for potatoes (maybe my greater love of giving her a hard time about being from IDAHO-I served part of my mission there so it holds high standing to be from Idaho), her genuine love for everything good and right, most of all I love her because she loves me despite the many shortcomings, imperfects, and ability to talk her head off. She is an angel and I am left in awe at the many spiritual experiences we've seen together-she's one of my very best friends!
Jaycee is the small voice of reason, when she speaks I have been impressed to listen to what she may have to say is done so in wisdom. She cleans our home and for this I am grateful. One of the many things I look up to her for is her love and devotion to music and developing her talents in them. She inspires me to make use of the talents God has given me. We all look forward to growing closer to Jaycee as she moves into the house with us full time in the fall. She lives with her family right now, caring for her siblings, which I believe is the best choice one can make in life, yet we anxiously await her full arrival at a later date.
Last, but never least Shanaynay has become one of my closest and trusted friends these past months and even more in the last few weeks. She helps me keep my mind open and view things in a different light. She and I finish each others sentences, we have Man conversations, and we love working our guts out together! Go Buffness!! We've had similar life experiences and because of many of these we have conversations, when all is said and done, that help me remember where I've been, who I am becoming and what I want to be. She speaks her mind freely and I respect and honor her opinions. I love knowing where I stand with her and it takes the roadblocks out of the way that may occur in any given friendship where two strong personalities are involved. We think so much alike at times it still scares me...I think we were separated in Heaven and must have besties there too.
Most importantly these lovely ladies teach me on a daily basis and not only do they keep me young, but help me want to be the best I can be! I pray God will grant me ability, foresight, and selflessness to be a "keeper" as our house continues in becoming a home. Thanks for being influential in my life down the last stretch of road! ♥ Sarah
I was grateful for the chance to focus on school the last month and try to pull things together after taking care of my Grandma. Over the past two years while serving as a Relief Society President, in most part to Freshman sisters on Campus, I have been given the opportunities, trials, and challenges to find myself in merely losing myself. I have solidified the truth-God's ways are not our ways, yet we are given the blessings of hearkening unto Him to try our patience, faith, and love as a disciple unto Him. He knew what He was doing from the very beginning...I may have doubted, questioned, or even rebelled in my lack of understanding in His ways. Yet through it all I must admit I relied on the strength of the Lord, and getting by with a little help from my friends-my sisters.
I grew up with very little faith in women, in their word, and in the design of maternal femininity. After all, we do live in a man's world of competition, corporation, and overall corruption. It has come to my attention I have no desire to compete in any of that! In hindsight, which always seems a little better than it's counterpart-foresight, I once was almost at the top of a corporate ladder, moving from a position of level 4 to that of a supervisor's level 21, in less than a two year period (the corporation tops out at a level 26 with it's leaders or "CEO's" as they are called in the business setting. I found after quickly moving to the top, it wasn't were I wanted to be. Other's styles in leadership were of a competitive selfish nature which contrasts my personal and life-long thought process of leaving no one behind with no empty chairs. I greatly disliked it-being promoted to an office, closed off from my peers, colleagues, and friends. I found I was left with a plethora of shallow working relationships. This compelled me to open up my heart and find what/where the Lord wanted me to be and do with my life-not what and where the world wanted me to be.
The call...I had a visitor at work one Friday afternoon. He took me by surprise and was my biggest challenge to living on campus. He had torn my heart, giving me cause to re-evaluate, lick my wounds, and plead for the Lord's intervention in my life. As He promises; His arm was outstretched still and he pulled me into a calling that would change my heart and outlook on womanhood FOREVER. While prayerfully deciding where to live for the upcoming year I knew I was to remain on campus and study in the Engineering house. I accepted the call as Relief Society President, not knowing before hand the things which I should do...I love Nephi and his unwavering faith in the Lord. This calling changed my life, it has made me a better teacher, mother, sister, and friend.
A few experience that stand out in my mind:
There is a mother in all of us: A ward activity was held to celebrate our new ward this year at a sister's families home in Murray. A mist the festivities, these darling new friends started calling me mom and mother-due to my calling and responsibilities. I recall it rubbing me the wrong way-in my mind I viewed this as infering I was old and put a halt to the name no sooner had it started. Weeks later I had learned to see the forenamed title of the utmost reverence, responsibility, and respect. His children will always naturally yearn for a mother figure, they had been homesick-in need of friends, hungry to be nourished by the good word, and needed a capacity to serve-using their God given talents. After these small realizations of the name "Mother," I yearned for it; had I realized at the time I would have embraced such a title versus even shunning the thought of being a mother to these dear ones He calls His. Thank you Mary and Carter for such a kind title in the opportunity to serve as a mother to many!
Being approachable, kind, and caring for the heads that hang down: In my two school years of serving, there were many who needed callings and either didn't understand the magnification process of giving their time and talents to building up the Kingdom of God, or that all we do in the church we do for Him. I can think of a couple of sisters that went straight to the Bishop instead of trying to approach me with their questions and concerns. A slightly awkward process, considering the Bishop always sides with those whom the Lord's called, and then refers the Relief Society President to go and talk to the sister who came in to see him. As the wise Clement's gave council, "Women get all wrapped up in emotion, they have a hard time talking to another woman who wants to go out and solve problems instead of a woman who will passively sit back and listen to them." At the time I received this, it was meant to lift my heart and be of cheer for the motivation and ability I have to work, work, and work. Instead through a friend and councilor, I've learned the value of listening, just to be the ear and lift the heads of those that hand down. Thanks to those Women who needed someone who just needed a woman to embrace your manly and emotional issues instead of solve them for you. I've learned to listen, give sound positive encouragement, and the good Lord will give the wisdom to solve your own problems in His own way and in His own time. Listening is love-thanks Lacey for loving me enough to sit back and listen on countless occasions.
Nothing but Heart: A pseudo Father reminded me the principle of balance, which King Benjamin so plainly teaches-even in the things of the heart. When I attempt to accomplish anything, I usually begin with the motto, "Go Big or Go Home." Since I'm already home, I have no other option than Go Big! Words of Wisdom were spoken between Brother Scott and I, as I described a hiking trail in the valley close to each of our homes: we zig-zag back and forth on medium to high ground; eventually yielding higher ground, elevating our immediate position with gradual transition. In hiking you always seem to have the option of the straight ascent to the top, most likely treacherous, unruly, and no places to rest and catch your breath. One may become quickly fatigued, overwhelmed, and give up only to find themselves taking the switch backs once foreseen as time consuming and a painstakingly slow process. God fills our lives with switchbacks-that we may accomplish things with all of our heart and not losing heart in the process. Thanks Bro Scott and all the others who encouraged me to fully extend my heart along the way!
Love, love, love: Not only is this one of my favorites by the Beetles, but a true principle of the Restored Gospel of Christ. I once had an investigator on the mission named Rod Dee. He emphatically stated, "God is Love and Love is God, there's nothing bigger and better than that sister...nothing bigger and better...!" It still rings just as loud and clear to me in my mind as much as it did that warm summer day in August on McKenzie Street in Washington State. For our Father, His Son, and every other member of the Godhead who cares and watched out for our well being, everything they do, encourage others to do, and allow to happen for our growth is rooted in the immense and unconditional love they have for each and every child they possess. This doctrine has lead me to self evaluate on a continual basis, "Why do I do what I do? Is it out of the love for the individual, the group, family, or even myself?" There is a certain expectation in this world to be lovers of ourselves-I have found the love needed for self is limited to that of personal prayer, scripture study, temple attendance, sacrifice of offerings, commandment keeping, and a few other gifts He's given us to help us get through the daily grind. Everything else worth spending time doing is devoting time to building up others. Hopefully we don't keep ourselves so busy we forget to share our His love with others along our journey we call life. Thanks to all of those who have allowed me to love, serve, and have fun with each of you on a regular basis in varied capacities. A life with out love, is a life not worth living. Love on...IT'S YOUR CHOICE!
The service rendered in my calling has bonded me to life to some of my closest and dearest friends. I haven't chosen my roommates, besides the family I have lived with, since being home from the mission until now...I live with Lacey Love, or the Lobseter, or Lafonda, there is pretty much a new one made up for her on a consistent basis. Shannon, or more commonly known as Sha-nay-nay, Twinner, and Jaycee Johnson- a.k.a. Kim with more names to come. These ladies light up my life and I enjoy their drastically different personalities and ability to assist in keeping me pumped about life and grounded insomuch that I don't float away...
We moved in a month ago and I must confess it has been one of the most fun of my life! We work together as a team, building our house into a home. We've planted a reasonable large vegetable garden, are sprouting an array of flowers indoors to be planted at a later date, and moved literally tons of bricks to construct our own make-shift patio. We've moved in a houseful of furniture, replaced a the kitchen sink, lopped off all the side yard bushes, grown grass from seed, cleared gravel and our recent endeavor was pruning a fruit tree and yanking out multiple side growths root and all. Man-up right Nay? We've had multiple late night fiestas, our first BBQ was a smash, and our first in the In-the-Hood dinner guest (Thanks Davey!). Our Seasonal glasses bring us much Joy and hope they do to you as you venture your way to our humble abode. Last weekend we went camping with Bro Town and enjoyed the trip even though we were rained out, at least we got to swim and roast mallows together!! We've gone to a music concert together and even scored the first ever autographed copy of "Wherez Anna." Future investments begin while you're young and we've decided to invest in each other and make these friendships last!
The things I treasure most about my roommates: We all bring such different things to the table.
Lacey's love for potatoes (maybe my greater love of giving her a hard time about being from IDAHO-I served part of my mission there so it holds high standing to be from Idaho), her genuine love for everything good and right, most of all I love her because she loves me despite the many shortcomings, imperfects, and ability to talk her head off. She is an angel and I am left in awe at the many spiritual experiences we've seen together-she's one of my very best friends!
Jaycee is the small voice of reason, when she speaks I have been impressed to listen to what she may have to say is done so in wisdom. She cleans our home and for this I am grateful. One of the many things I look up to her for is her love and devotion to music and developing her talents in them. She inspires me to make use of the talents God has given me. We all look forward to growing closer to Jaycee as she moves into the house with us full time in the fall. She lives with her family right now, caring for her siblings, which I believe is the best choice one can make in life, yet we anxiously await her full arrival at a later date.
Last, but never least Shanaynay has become one of my closest and trusted friends these past months and even more in the last few weeks. She helps me keep my mind open and view things in a different light. She and I finish each others sentences, we have Man conversations, and we love working our guts out together! Go Buffness!! We've had similar life experiences and because of many of these we have conversations, when all is said and done, that help me remember where I've been, who I am becoming and what I want to be. She speaks her mind freely and I respect and honor her opinions. I love knowing where I stand with her and it takes the roadblocks out of the way that may occur in any given friendship where two strong personalities are involved. We think so much alike at times it still scares me...I think we were separated in Heaven and must have besties there too.
Most importantly these lovely ladies teach me on a daily basis and not only do they keep me young, but help me want to be the best I can be! I pray God will grant me ability, foresight, and selflessness to be a "keeper" as our house continues in becoming a home. Thanks for being influential in my life down the last stretch of road! ♥ Sarah
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