The Young Men in my Life

As I drove into work this morning I remember a parallel morning years ago as I drove from the Avenues to the SL Institute to attend a class for returning missionaries. I remember the sun's breaking rays over the mountain side as spiritual inspiration opened upon my mind and it was revealed to me within the hour I would be asked to serve on council at the Salt Lake Institute, not for just a year, but to serve in various capacities and callings in the next four years over firesides for the Returned Missionary Council, Director of Missionary Work, and Sports and Recreation.

Similar to the experience of that morning where I was taught why despite my constant concern as a full-time missionary of why the Lord would continually call me to server in the student areas of Washington State, Gonzaga, Spokane Falls Community College, Eastern Washington, and lastly University of Idaho. In my mind, The Gospel and Good News of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was for families, little did I see the correlation of me recognizing the truth of it as a freshman at Utah State and how important it would be for me in upcoming years to see how Student and Young Single Adult Wards we're to function and be set up. All of my previous mission experience have been an abundant source of knowledge, obedience, and faith promoting experiences which provided me to apply what I learned as a full time missionary.

Serving on Institute Council has blessed my life immeasurably! I cannot even count the friends I have made, the mentors and teachers I have gratefully received, and the foundation I now recognize I will need for what is before me. It helped me to a grow a love for attending classes, the overlying institution therein, and then graduate with a diploma and a certificate. It was by service through the latter-day student association, I fell in love with student wards, my peers, and gave me a greater capacity and desire to serve within my wards. During this same time I've been called to be a visiting teacher, district leader, and supervisor, a ward missionary and gospel doctrine teacher both multiple times, a stake sports coordinator/representative, a temple prep teacher, a mission prep teacher, a family home evening co-chair, and in three different Relief Society Presidencies. Until yesterday I thought serving in Relief Society would be my supporting and saving grace in teaching my students in the seminary classroom-until one of the students asked if we could have "missionary moments" where we learn what are the kinds of questions investigators have...striking me a bit odd...aren't we all eternal investigators in some sense of the phrase? Shouldn't we be? Willing to strive on a daily basis to ask questions and do all that we can to have them answered to the fullest extent?

Who God calls-He has prepared and we must place our trust in Him, that as much as we may not feel adequate He makes up the difference and we become capable, through our diligence and long-suffering, to be who He has called us to be.

It was about the ♥, it's still about the ♥, and it will always be about the ♥

This has been an awesome missionary week, starting last Friday! Saturday I had an awesome conversation with a friend who recently returned home from his mission over a month now...It was about how in missionary work-the greatest thing we can learn is love, love, love. He talked of his mission in Mexico and the experiences he had with loving the people. He's such a great light to me and helping me remember the things that matter most. The light of our Savior emanates through him and I find myself remembering mission memories as he talks about moments from his.

It made me remember how it almost seems easier to turn off our hearts, build up a fence and lay a brick wall to keep ourselves and what we feel as safe and secure. In reality this is the carnal security we look for to keep out the vulnerability of Christ-like love. For perfect love casteth out all fear, but we must be willing to embrace the risk, and not be lulled away by the adversary and his half truths. There is no greater power in the universe for this is what all other powers, rites, and ordinances are based upon-The Love of God.

Back stepping to Friday in my 5th period seminary class, I had a prized pupil draw a picture of me. Although it was a flattering image it was in the middle of class and he was becoming a distraction to the learning of many others in the class. This young man I've felt impressed to make the class president. This year will be the first he passes and he plans on serving a mission. He is a good young man, with more energy than most, a golden/willing heart, and a love of all man. He's invited his friend who isn't a member of the church to enroll in institute in the same hour he's in. There are many more things which inspire me to appreciate this young man as I do, mostly a few of the other faculty warned me about him. My teaching was evaluated by a brethren from down town. They questioned why this young man was class president; I went into some of his background and began to cry. As I apologized for my tears, they stopped me in my words and stated they were validated out of my genuine love for my students. This is true! I love these students which brings me to my next thought.

I have a three classes I teach: 2 at a high school seminary and a 6th grade class in the afternoons. that gives me a total of for a grand total of 79 investigators in my young teaching pool, that doesn't even count the countless sisters I have in my life to teach, lead, and help them feel Christ's love for them. I never thought I'd have a bigger teaching pool than the 49 on the mission. Where have I been the past few years in my reasoning? This grand idea and recognition of opportunity was just recognized in talking to my friend. Then I starting going deeper in my mind. I'm blessed to work at a private school in the afternoon where my colleagues are again not members, but are amazing and live wonderful lives according the truths they do know and understand. These are all older and much wiser pillars in the community and I look up to them in so many aspects.

Working at a seminary in the morning, my day starts about 4 a.m., am fed physically and personally spiritually in the morning by my personal endeavors, my Lacester, my students, and other cohorts teaching the restored gospel to the youth. Then I move forward and by 10:30 am out feeding others by sharing His light and love. Today my little favorite 6th grader, who claims to be atheist did well on his religion test and even spoke about going back to Jesus Christ's presence escape his lips. Many days I feel maybe as Ammon of old, willing to serve and unable to proclaim all I know until due time. Diligently serving until the time is at hand for deliverance of His word. I've never felt so much physical, spiritual, and emotional distraction-I lay awake most nights tossing and turning milling around ideas that either are distractions or pure intelligence and there seems to be no middle ground. It is all about who I entrust my thoughts, motives, and desires.

Another thing that occupies my thoughts are two other men that weigh heavily on my mind. One will be home from his mission in 3 weeks. He was a best friend before he left and had great expectations upon his return home. I just don't know what to think or feel-it leaves me somewhat paralyzed and I never really thought this time would come. Now that it has-I can't help, but rejoice for I know he will have become one of the best returned missionary there ever will be. It will change the dynamics of my life and I hope I am willing to accept-come what may and love it.

The other man comes back to SLC in December and herein lies other great expectations. Expectations that we live up to our potential-that the Atonement of our Lord is as real as we allow it to become in our lives. We love Him because he first loved us and in the situation I am daily reminded of agency and how this life is a time to prepare to meet God. We must move forward and prepare for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

Dreams that we Dare to Dream Really do Come True...

I was listening to a dear friends mellifluous voice the evening before last as she played and sang this song for us over the campfire. The lyrics seized upon my mind and I was dumbstruck at the many things we pursue in this life-the things we dare to sacrifice vulnerability and other comforts for are the dreams we end up with when all is said and done.

I've found the things we set off fall by the wayside and those we focus and embrace with all of our heart, no matter the cost, will eventually pay off in the end. It is where we place our energy, our thoughts, and our time when we need not be placing it anywhere at all, that beckons us over the rainbow to the belief and hopes all of our dreams, our righteous ones anyway, really do come true.

As I visited with one of my cool gal friends this afternoon we were talking about how upon the arrival home after a mission people come up with these illustrious plans, goals, and time tables for their lives. This being one of the biggest oxymorons that could ever exist in the lives of recently returned missionaries. Young adults who just spent countless hours teaching and preaching there is a loving Father in Heaven who knows all of His individual children and has a plan for each of us. Why we try to make our own thereafter is more than ridiculous.

I had an interview this week with the man who will in ten months time submit my name to the education board of the church if I am found of stalwart report to teach the youth in the seminary setting on a permanent basis. He asked me such penetrating questions like why I want to be a seminary teacher, for how long, how many times I'd been proposed to, do I ever want to get married, have children, be willing to move out of state to teach on assignment, etc. I answered them all them without skipping a beat and with the righteous intentions of my heart. He used three words to describe me and I agree fully with his assessment: fun, enthusiastic, and passionate-being filled with love.

I have been struggling the past few weeks keeping up working two jobs, masters classes, my church calling, giving quality time to friends, and merely trying to keep my head above water. It is my sincere hope that the dreams we dare to dream really do come true!

The Natural Man is an Enemy to God

As I was working today I had a insightful, delightful experience of edification brought to my by my principal at Bingham Seminary. We were going through the teaching schedule for this upcoming school year, as I was giving input, we stopped on the Plan of Salvation, or Plan of Happiness. He asked me questions I hadn't really reflected on a while and I acknowledge I will be forever grateful for the time he took from his busy schedule to teach me this afternoon.

What he asked was powerful and may best be pondered upon: 1) What is the overarching purpose of the plan-the end result? 2) What are the most important items rarely discussed or briefly brushed over as the plan is taught to others, or explained by others and my question to him 3) Do men really come into the world with a natural disposition to do evil?

The overarching purpose of the plan is to enable us with knowledge and an ability to set our sites on steps in proving ourselves worthy to going back to live with God, living in such a way we become like Him and then ultimately gain everything He already has. The key here is becoming like him. Moroni teaches, "But ^acharity is the pure ^blove of Christ, and it endureth^cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, ^apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true ^bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall ^cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be ^dpurified even as he is pure." We should live together in love in our hearts that through our actions our hearts become pure. It is then we will know and understand Him, since we have transpired into a being of such caliber.

The items in the plan either not discussed of in briefness brushed over are: 1) The Atonement of our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ 2) Agency 3) The Fall 4)Principles and Ordinances and 5) The Creation. Where would we be without these doctrines taking an active part in our lives? The plan couldn't be fulfilled without each of these integrally working together for our individual and collective good. I can't imagine teaching the Great Plan of Happiness minus these pivotal points of doctrine.

After talking about the plan I had a question that has been brewing in my mind since placed there in June...Are we all really born carnal and devilish? There is a two part answer to this question: Yes-our bodies have a great disposition to do evil. King Benjamin taught, "For the ^anatural ^bman is an ^cenemy to God, and has been from the ^dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he ^eyieldsto the enticings of the Holy ^fSpirit, and ^gputteth off the ^hnaturalman and becometh a ⁱsaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a ^jchild, ^ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." This is one of my favorite verses of scripture, for it gives us all of the keys to fulfill our divine birthright as future kings and queens, priests and priestesses and children of a Heavenly King and being we have the privilege to call Father. The mortal body we were given is corrupt and mortal, it will invite and entice us to go with the ways of the world and take us from Christ and all His plan has to offer-even eternal life. The flip side of the coin is we have our spirit that have now united with our physical bodies. Depending on who we were in the pre-existence and how we are choosing to currently in our lives, we are given power, strength, and direction to not be enticed by that which cannot satisfy. It is all a choice in if we place our bodies in control of our spirits or if we place our spirits in governance over our bodies. Who are you enlisting to obey-I know as for me and my house, or temple, we will serve the Lord.

I look forward to the day of His appearing and hope previous to His coming I may purify my heart, be filled with His love, that I may recognize Him inasmuch as I have become like Him.

Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself! FDR

I wonder how many have researched out the background and source of this quote. I have seen it used by many, but I think it would mean more to us if we researched the context from whence it came. It was from Franklin D. Roosevelt's first inaugural speech into the presidency of this great nation. It came at a time when many in the country began losing hope they would ever see through the time known as the great depression. It was 1932, in 1933 the bottom fell out and and most of the country began to despair.

I had this thought cross my mind this morning as I thought how my father fashioned a road bike to and from work. It was he that insisted on me finding a love in the great sport of biking. I love mountain biking and down hilling, but there is something many of you, if not all of you don't know. The summer between my 5th and 6th grade year I had was in a biking accident and I'll be the first to admit it scarred me something horrific. Every time I straddle a bike, push on the pedal-I feel it. The fear in the pit of my stomach and I force it out with every pedal I push. My brother got me into mountain biking a few years ago and I was able find a love for trails, however in going to Moab two years ago on a biking trip the slick rock freaked me out enough that I left the group and went off by myself-I just didn't want to slow them down.

I've lived with friends who had road bikes, but until this summer haven't been around so many people with such passion for road biking. My first time going was week before last and as scary as it seemed, when all was said and done I found therein happiness, for "It lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort (also FDR)." I didn't have to go by myself, I had another friend who'd never gone and we had other friends who let us borrow their bikes so we could go.

However, more importantly it's what gotten me to the point of purchasing my first vintage Schwinn road bike this morning. She's a blue beauty, in fact this is what I've named her. Beauty comes in life as we embrace the hard things, not only to learn from them, but change in the face of them. So I will work backwards-Alaina thanks for riding your bike the other night, it made me recognize I didn't need a new bike. My weekend will be reserved for climbing and lovely rides with you.

Cameron, Andi, Dan and James-it's your outward enthusiasm about biking that makes me have a desire to rise to the occasion. I may never be able to go on your extravagant rides and trips, especially after I've seen how jacked up you all come back afterwards. I get enough scrapes and scratches from climbing. :o) Thank you for always inviting me, one of these days I will surprise you and say indeed! Dan do it-my bike was a steal of a deal and you only live once.

Brent and Tiegs thanks for being such an example of what a great family activity it is to be on bikes! Then letting me experience multiple kinds of riding. :o) It reminded me of why I began biking in the first place, as a child I was the kid that rode my tricycle for as long as physically possible-I remember having the seat heightened to the max and my knee caps hitting the handle bars because I didn't want to give up the safety of the three wheels. It kept me grounded and for some reason I didn't care all of my friends were on bikes!

Ian thanks for explaining me enough logistics behind road biking it peaked my curiosity to begin asking questions. It is all about asking questions and obtaining knowledge.

Molly I will be taking you up on your teaching offer in the near future, preferably before you move to Texas! It's so horribly humid there-not nice biking weather.

Overall the purchase I made this morning made me reflect when we are surrounded by those who will uplift, teach, and edify we can then have the courage to place ourselves in scary situations realizing if we fall there are others around us to help catch us, brush us off and help us hop back into life!! Thanks for your love and friendship-I look forward to a fall of fun-filled cycling adventures!

The gifts and talents we are given...

The other day a sister from my previous ward made some FB comment about not knowing what to do with her studies and formal education. I've had a few years to ponder on this question and only in the past few months solidified I've had the answer all along-well ever since I came home from the mission.

We are given so many talents, righteous desires, hobbies we adore, etc. What do we do with them? Here is an example: one who relates well to children, but in particular children who are extra special. Kids that have received labels in life: those with Asperger's, Autism, Down's Syndrome, and the list is endless. They seem to love me as much as all of the others. I can't help, but feel the reason for this is because I treat them no different. I don't baby or caudal, talk down to, or think myself better than them. They merely learn differently than I do or have different capacities than the "norm" of the population. Who defines normal anyway or wants to be normal?

I work with a darling young man I will call Hen. He has Asperger's syndrome and is one of the most brilliant peeps I have the privilege of associating. He has been the highlight of my summer and brings fulfillment and joy into everything we do together. We've read two books, worked on social interactions, mathematics, and lots of reinforcement through recreational therapy. Today he had a bit of a validated melt-down this evening. Hen had worked all afternoon at a crafts camp, which is mentally taxing on the creative end of the spectrum. He was tired and ready to jet when I came to collect him. It was obvious to me he was thirsty, lonely, and sad. After purchasing a notebook, we started in on fractions. I should have seen it coming-it's amazing how I've had the educational background and work experience to deescalate such a situation that could have gotten out of control very fast.

It was all thanks to the still small whisperings of practices I've been taught academically and seen in action previously. He wanted to shut down, scream, fight, throw things, and lose it. I got very quite versus aggressive and started whispering. Immediately he calmed and within 5 minutes we talked through his frustration of showing his work in math problems, gained an understanding of why it's important, and found real life application and problems to his predicament. It was a great teaching opportunity. Further we talked through self control and why it may be important how others perceive our actions and why communication is key in all the relationships we have with others.

We caught the movie Mr. Popper's Penguins, which we both found to be absolutely delightful! Much better than the "grown-up" movies I've seen as of late. It was a warm and fuzzy movie-we laughed and giggled, he asked question (always feels like a touchdown when this happens!), and we even talked about acronyms for texting; he's a pretty hip bloke! All in all it was rewarding because he wasn't a lump in the theater-it was interactive reinforcement and the conversation is always so intellectual and invigorating-I wish I could say as much for most of my cohorts. Hen and I both have a deep love for animals and in this case birds. We went to Fairmont Park and enticed ourselves to come back and feed the ducks before they fly south for the winter.

I enjoy spending my time with him so very much-it almost seems absurd I will get paid to spend time with him. I guess this is how you know you are in the right spot-when you love what you do so much it feels like you should be paying someone because you enjoy doing what you do so much. It becomes you, it defines you, it allows/encourages you to be the best you!

Neither cold nor hot

In the Book of Revelations the saints of the church are being rebuked for being lukewarm. Are there times in our lives when we are spiritually lukewarm? How can we increase our commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained, " Those destined to inherit the terrestrial kingdom are those who are lukewarm members of the church and who have testimonies, but who are not true and faithful in all things" (A New Witness for the Articles of Faith, 1985, 146).

In retrospect of a conversation I had last week I am rarely if ever lukewarm-I am always one extreme or another. Unless in an exception I am worried in my decision making process, when I feel one thing, but talk myself into another or not following through on my initial desires place within me by Him whom knows me best. Are you getting hotter or colder?

I began reading the Book of Mormon at the beginning of the summer and am a few chapters away from finishing it cover to cover. In my study I have been pondering and noting actions and the motivators in the peoples lives and conversion. More than anything I have noted it is all about the hearts of the people(159 references in the B of M). If the people's hearts are in the right place-goodness prevails. If their minds or lips are in filled with knowledge that's how far it stops-the front door of the mind or the mouth. When our hearts are involved in our personal conversion process and that of others, it penetrates to the deepest chasms of our soul. Our minds can be a part of this process with our heart, but our minds must be faith filled and ready to believe. Faith casts out fear or doubt which surrounds us in the world in which we now live, there are absorbent amounts of the philosophies of men mingled with truth. We must follow our heart that our minds may resist the logic and craftiness of men (D&C 52:14-20).

May I be as a child of Helaman and apply his words into my heart, "I desire that ye should deny the ^ajustice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his ^bmercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in^chumility." May I neither be cold or warm, but filled with His love that all may have a desire to come unto Him.