I was grateful for the chance to focus on school the last month and try to pull things together after taking care of my Grandma. Over the past two years while serving as a Relief Society President, in most part to Freshman sisters on Campus, I have been given the opportunities, trials, and challenges to find myself in merely losing myself. I have solidified the truth-God's ways are not our ways, yet we are given the blessings of hearkening unto Him to try our patience, faith, and love as a disciple unto Him. He knew what He was doing from the very beginning...I may have doubted, questioned, or even rebelled in my lack of understanding in His ways. Yet through it all I must admit I relied on the strength of the Lord, and getting by with a little help from my friends-my sisters.
I grew up with very little faith in women, in their word, and in the design of maternal femininity. After all, we do live in a man's world of competition, corporation, and overall corruption. It has come to my attention I have no desire to compete in any of that! In hindsight, which always seems a little better than it's counterpart-foresight, I once was almost at the top of a corporate ladder, moving from a position of level 4 to that of a supervisor's level 21, in less than a two year period (the corporation tops out at a level 26 with it's leaders or "CEO's" as they are called in the business setting. I found after quickly moving to the top, it wasn't were I wanted to be. Other's styles in leadership were of a competitive selfish nature which contrasts my personal and life-long thought process of leaving no one behind with no empty chairs. I greatly disliked it-being promoted to an office, closed off from my peers, colleagues, and friends. I found I was left with a plethora of shallow working relationships. This compelled me to open up my heart and find what/where the Lord wanted me to be and do with my life-not what and where the world wanted me to be.
The call...I had a visitor at work one Friday afternoon. He took me by surprise and was my biggest challenge to living on campus. He had torn my heart, giving me cause to re-evaluate, lick my wounds, and plead for the Lord's intervention in my life. As He promises; His arm was outstretched still and he pulled me into a calling that would change my heart and outlook on womanhood FOREVER. While prayerfully deciding where to live for the upcoming year I knew I was to remain on campus and study in the Engineering house. I accepted the call as Relief Society President, not knowing before hand the things which I should do...I love Nephi and his unwavering faith in the Lord. This calling changed my life, it has made me a better teacher, mother, sister, and friend.
A few experience that stand out in my mind:
There is a mother in all of us: A ward activity was held to celebrate our new ward this year at a sister's families home in Murray. A mist the festivities, these darling new friends started calling me mom and mother-due to my calling and responsibilities. I recall it rubbing me the wrong way-in my mind I viewed this as infering I was old and put a halt to the name no sooner had it started. Weeks later I had learned to see the forenamed title of the utmost reverence, responsibility, and respect. His children will always naturally yearn for a mother figure, they had been homesick-in need of friends, hungry to be nourished by the good word, and needed a capacity to serve-using their God given talents. After these small realizations of the name "Mother," I yearned for it; had I realized at the time I would have embraced such a title versus even shunning the thought of being a mother to these dear ones He calls His. Thank you Mary and Carter for such a kind title in the opportunity to serve as a mother to many!
Being approachable, kind, and caring for the heads that hang down: In my two school years of serving, there were many who needed callings and either didn't understand the magnification process of giving their time and talents to building up the Kingdom of God, or that all we do in the church we do for Him. I can think of a couple of sisters that went straight to the Bishop instead of trying to approach me with their questions and concerns. A slightly awkward process, considering the Bishop always sides with those whom the Lord's called, and then refers the Relief Society President to go and talk to the sister who came in to see him. As the wise Clement's gave council, "Women get all wrapped up in emotion, they have a hard time talking to another woman who wants to go out and solve problems instead of a woman who will passively sit back and listen to them." At the time I received this, it was meant to lift my heart and be of cheer for the motivation and ability I have to work, work, and work. Instead through a friend and councilor, I've learned the value of listening, just to be the ear and lift the heads of those that hand down. Thanks to those Women who needed someone who just needed a woman to embrace your manly and emotional issues instead of solve them for you. I've learned to listen, give sound positive encouragement, and the good Lord will give the wisdom to solve your own problems in His own way and in His own time. Listening is love-thanks Lacey for loving me enough to sit back and listen on countless occasions.
Nothing but Heart: A pseudo Father reminded me the principle of balance, which King Benjamin so plainly teaches-even in the things of the heart. When I attempt to accomplish anything, I usually begin with the motto, "Go Big or Go Home." Since I'm already home, I have no other option than Go Big! Words of Wisdom were spoken between Brother Scott and I, as I described a hiking trail in the valley close to each of our homes: we zig-zag back and forth on medium to high ground; eventually yielding higher ground, elevating our immediate position with gradual transition. In hiking you always seem to have the option of the straight ascent to the top, most likely treacherous, unruly, and no places to rest and catch your breath. One may become quickly fatigued, overwhelmed, and give up only to find themselves taking the switch backs once foreseen as time consuming and a painstakingly slow process. God fills our lives with switchbacks-that we may accomplish things with all of our heart and not losing heart in the process. Thanks Bro Scott and all the others who encouraged me to fully extend my heart along the way!
Love, love, love: Not only is this one of my favorites by the Beetles, but a true principle of the Restored Gospel of Christ. I once had an investigator on the mission named Rod Dee. He emphatically stated, "God is Love and Love is God, there's nothing bigger and better than that sister...nothing bigger and better...!" It still rings just as loud and clear to me in my mind as much as it did that warm summer day in August on McKenzie Street in Washington State. For our Father, His Son, and every other member of the Godhead who cares and watched out for our well being, everything they do, encourage others to do, and allow to happen for our growth is rooted in the immense and unconditional love they have for each and every child they possess. This doctrine has lead me to self evaluate on a continual basis, "Why do I do what I do? Is it out of the love for the individual, the group, family, or even myself?" There is a certain expectation in this world to be lovers of ourselves-I have found the love needed for self is limited to that of personal prayer, scripture study, temple attendance, sacrifice of offerings, commandment keeping, and a few other gifts He's given us to help us get through the daily grind. Everything else worth spending time doing is devoting time to building up others. Hopefully we don't keep ourselves so busy we forget to share our His love with others along our journey we call life. Thanks to all of those who have allowed me to love, serve, and have fun with each of you on a regular basis in varied capacities. A life with out love, is a life not worth living. Love on...IT'S YOUR CHOICE!
The service rendered in my calling has bonded me to life to some of my closest and dearest friends. I haven't chosen my roommates, besides the family I have lived with, since being home from the mission until now...I live with Lacey Love, or the Lobseter, or Lafonda, there is pretty much a new one made up for her on a consistent basis. Shannon, or more commonly known as Sha-nay-nay, Twinner, and Jaycee Johnson- a.k.a. Kim with more names to come. These ladies light up my life and I enjoy their drastically different personalities and ability to assist in keeping me pumped about life and grounded insomuch that I don't float away...
We moved in a month ago and I must confess it has been one of the most fun of my life! We work together as a team, building our house into a home. We've planted a reasonable large vegetable garden, are sprouting an array of flowers indoors to be planted at a later date, and moved literally tons of bricks to construct our own make-shift patio. We've moved in a houseful of furniture, replaced a the kitchen sink, lopped off all the side yard bushes, grown grass from seed, cleared gravel and our recent endeavor was pruning a fruit tree and yanking out multiple side growths root and all. Man-up right Nay? We've had multiple late night fiestas, our first BBQ was a smash, and our first in the In-the-Hood dinner guest (Thanks Davey!). Our Seasonal glasses bring us much Joy and hope they do to you as you venture your way to our humble abode. Last weekend we went camping with Bro Town and enjoyed the trip even though we were rained out, at least we got to swim and roast mallows together!! We've gone to a music concert together and even scored the first ever autographed copy of "Wherez Anna." Future investments begin while you're young and we've decided to invest in each other and make these friendships last!
The things I treasure most about my roommates: We all bring such different things to the table.
Lacey's love for potatoes (maybe my greater love of giving her a hard time about being from IDAHO-I served part of my mission there so it holds high standing to be from Idaho), her genuine love for everything good and right, most of all I love her because she loves me despite the many shortcomings, imperfects, and ability to talk her head off. She is an angel and I am left in awe at the many spiritual experiences we've seen together-she's one of my very best friends!
Jaycee is the small voice of reason, when she speaks I have been impressed to listen to what she may have to say is done so in wisdom. She cleans our home and for this I am grateful. One of the many things I look up to her for is her love and devotion to music and developing her talents in them. She inspires me to make use of the talents God has given me. We all look forward to growing closer to Jaycee as she moves into the house with us full time in the fall. She lives with her family right now, caring for her siblings, which I believe is the best choice one can make in life, yet we anxiously await her full arrival at a later date.
Last, but never least Shanaynay has become one of my closest and trusted friends these past months and even more in the last few weeks. She helps me keep my mind open and view things in a different light. She and I finish each others sentences, we have Man conversations, and we love working our guts out together! Go Buffness!! We've had similar life experiences and because of many of these we have conversations, when all is said and done, that help me remember where I've been, who I am becoming and what I want to be. She speaks her mind freely and I respect and honor her opinions. I love knowing where I stand with her and it takes the roadblocks out of the way that may occur in any given friendship where two strong personalities are involved. We think so much alike at times it still scares me...I think we were separated in Heaven and must have besties there too.
Most importantly these lovely ladies teach me on a daily basis and not only do they keep me young, but help me want to be the best I can be! I pray God will grant me ability, foresight, and selflessness to be a "keeper" as our house continues in becoming a home. Thanks for being influential in my life down the last stretch of road! ♥ Sarah
