MIA

How often do we find ourselves missing in action? What kind of action may I be making reference too? The kind of action that makes life better for those around us-building, laying foundations, loving, and yes most of this requires great effort, work, and sacrifice of what we may want at any given time in our lives.

A week ago BpB got up and said people are given callings to do the things otherwise they may not be so compelled to do. It struck a cord with me and I thought-I have the best calling in the world-teaching-something that comes so naturally to me I could almost do it in my sleep. It's a God given talent and I recognize it as such and 100% grateful. This calling wasn't really stretching me and I find myself sinking into complacency and some forms of mediocrity. I need to be my best self and am really struggling in finding anything to motivate me to be this right now. It's a horrible feeling and I get down on myself even more for experiencing it. Something was brought to my attention a few weeks ago and even more so this very afternoon:

In sacrament this guy got up to speak-pretty sure he is the ward mission leader and everything he said resonated with me so strongly and I felt a strong desire to shake off the dust and stand up for many truths I've been pondering upon the past couple of weeks. I've been thinking a lot about words of a living Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, " Converts need: a friend, a calling, and to be nurtured by the good word of God." He delivered this message in a leadership meeting I attended as a full time missionary in Spokane Valley. The powerful impact has never wandered from the still confines within my soul. Each of us within His church is a convert in one form or another. We all have ups and downs in our testimony, in our obedience, and in our faith. We all rely on the same being for our grace, mercy, and salvation. Likewise we all rely on fellow Saints to lift the hands of those that hang down. Haven't your hands ever hung down? Who was it that came and took you by the hand and became the answer to your prayers?

I was thinking about how we don't need more programs, we need more love, more goodness, more selflessness, and more courage. Meaning courage to do all of the small things, smile and say hello when you pass by others, encourage your roommates or neighbors to get involved in their visiting/home teaching, magnify their calling (to get one if they don't have one), pray, read the scriptures, render service, attend the temple, pay tithing/offerings, participate in Family Home Evening, the list goes on...the list that leads one to happiness in this life and eternal life in the next. If everyone were happy around each other, there would never be insecurity-only hope, love, and faith.

It's amazing how we can feel God's love in such simple and yet miraculous ways! I have friends and family that believe in everything from none to multiple to worldly Gods and yet I know He can somehow reach into their hearts and pull them closer to Him through us-anyone who wants to be a tool (in the nicest of context). It's all about the seemingly little things: a text message, a smile, a hug, words of encouragement, and the list goes on...Once we are converted, go...

What are you doing for someone else to help them feel of His love?

Do you invite others to come with you to activities?

Are you attending the activities yourself?

Where do you hold your daily scripture study?

Is your relationship to the Father manifest in your prayers?

When do you attend the temple and give of other service?

What can you do to forget about your life and give it to those around you?

When you lose your life for His sake then you will find it!

Echo Canyon

Thursday evening my roomies and some friends went up to a cabin in the middle of the forest for some well deserved respite! What a glorious weekend it was! Not only did we get to spend time away from the rush and fast paced life we live in the city, but time actually escaped us pretty much all together. We stayed up late enjoying each others company with no power whatsoever and slept in later than I can remember doing, probably since the last time I was devastatingly ill. Friday we would have lost track of time all together except some more of our friends we coming up to stay and we needed to start dinner for them. We'd spent the whole day just playing, lounging, studying, and getting to know each other even better! It was awesome and for the first time since I was in elementary I stopped wearing a watch around my wrist. I am usually lost without it, but I'm testing out doctrine taught by Elder Maxwell, we are complete strangers to the earthly concept of time. This weekend proved it to me-we driven by the concept of time due to our cultures and competitive world. We push and we push ourselves and for what to fit more time in the day, week, or month.

This past week has taught me to embrace each new moment, pay attention to whom I'm with and give them my undivided attention. Quality time is so much better than quantity time. Listen and focus on those you are around, don't be distracted by the business of life or the technology that may frequently surround us. When I came home from the mission I refused to get a cell phone for the longest time. Once I did, I would leave it home with me as though it were a land line. I did the same on this trip, we didn't have service anyway and when I got home there were 17 missed calls and plenty of missed texts-slightly bordering on phone insanity. This yields me the amazing realization that I don't need my phone as often as I've convinced myself I do. In fact when I am with my family for Sunday dinner, anyone close to me knows I leave it either at home or in the car. Family time is precious-there isn't enough to begin with and I am not going to sacrifice that for anything else.

The pressures we place upon ourselves with always being available and accessible to everyone and their dog. As we drove home this evening I felt a sense of renewal, love, self, and overwhelming calmness. We clutter our lives with so much and then wonder why people have breakdowns, are all hyped up on anti-depressants, or even ulcers so prevalent in our lives. If we focused more on what we do with our time: with whom we talk, serve, love, play, or even give of ourselves, we would find an overwhelming amount of fulfillment. I was thinking about why I love the thing I do, whether it's hiking, climbing, boarding, biking, running, walking, fishing, singing, etc...it all boils down to-with whom I am doing what I'm doing.

Why do we spend our time in doing that is of little or no worth? If we aren't working on furthering or nurturing a relationship with another child of God, is it worth the time we invest? I will boldly declare, if it doesn't help another in one way or another, it is not worth our time, effort, or self. We are to be builders for that is why we've been saved for this time. To deny the distractions of this world and look forward to a much better world. As much as I love technology, it can be to our detriment. May we do all we do out of our deep love for Him, thanks for the time away and the natural beauties found therein.

Earthly Education…a large serving of humble pie.

In institute I was reminded how this life it a time to prepare, not only to meet God, but moreover striving to do all we can to become like him. I was brought to a visual picture of the earth being our classroom and, the good Lord, the teacher. We can either excel in this life, doing well with our experiences, or continually having Him say redo across the top of our assignments and then back to the drawing board until we get it right. His grading system is perfectly just and full of mercy, endless amounts of do-overs until we get out of it what we need in order to obtain the qualities of a saved being.

Recently some harsh lessons I’ve been learning are in large part for my own personal humility. I find myself willing to take the hand of others or even allowing them to carry me, both in the mental and physical sense of context. I’ve always been the one caring for all of those around me- my sisters, brother, grandparents, and friends. I’ve always been placed in the situation to be the strong one and not really allowing others to serve me. My roommate is the best example of service I’ve ever known and a few exceptional others placed around me. Her dad is one of the handymen around the house and comes to town and takes us to dinner. Lace reads me better than any female I know, it’s such a blessing to have someone to open up to and trust.

I had a mentor type example placed in my life the beginning of May and he is very abrupt and blunt in our conversations and I love him for his constant care, critical council and adamant advice. He teaches me straight and undiluted, he sees me as his daughter and treats me as such. BpB doesn’t take my crap and makes faces at me in front of his cohorts and colleagues, slightly obscene gestures for a public figure, but that’s alright since everyone watches everyone else anyway. He watches me at activities and then encourages me to keep being an assertive member of my community and lifting the hands that hang down. What a great blessing in my life!

Another is the chance I’ve had to open up my heart! My best guy friend, we’ll call him CC for short, taught me trust like I’ve never known, or at least not in the past 16 years of my life! He was so open and honest with me upon the beginning of our friendship, it’s taught me it literally hurts the heart to be that open, but when all is said and done, there aren’t really any regrets from it! He’s taught me to be absolutely alright with my open dirt surfing hippie self, less judgmental of others and their circumstances and to embrace awkwardness. There is so much good mixed in with the tragedy and innocent suffering of life. He’s helped me have greater compassion and love for my fellowman and in breaking down my walls I’ve found the greatest amount of love in my heart for him. I’ve found I am really good at being rude, mean, and generally unkind when I feel vulnerable and in allowing me the blessing of sincerest love, it leaves me wide open for absolute tragedy and the vastest vulnerability I’ve ever been placed in. Since this recognition has occurred I’ve begun trying to implement more proactivity versus reactivity in my life.

We are here to act and not be acted upon. My goal for the rest of the year is to be Proactive, not reactive: And Sarah suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. It’s a tall order to fill, but as I pray for it-all things are possible with His help! After the best teachers give you what you need when you really need it.

Duct tape your mouth shut!

Tonight at softball-I was catcher and also played third base, getting at least three outs and stopping two runs. We ended our winning streak and I lost it on the EQP tonight as he was criticizing my batting strategy from behind the fence. Funny thing...he strikes out at least once a game and I've never have as of yet, I've always made the runs, just wait for the right pitch to give me the time to make it to first and maybe round to second. I'm an encouraging and supportive player to all of our teammates and even at times the opposing team members. The last two weeks I've been catcher because I've been running in the morning and my shoes are to small giving me more blisters with every passing day (today I did 5.4 miles in flip flops and still got a blister!) After I took a base for my waiting on the pitchers 3 balls, I went back and threw the bat at the fence towards the EQP (I had a runner, who can't bat and were the perfect pair cause running on dirt in flops isn't my fave). He was grinning at me and I let him have it more than I've let anyone have it in years. I told him, "He better shut his mouth, cause next week I'd be bringing duct tape and I'd be using it if I heard anything critical out of his face!" Bp was standing right next to him and nothing was said, just glances of seriousness exchanged.

I don't get why people here associate callings with capability or capacity. In church on Sunday, the spirit testified to me the reason I needed to be called as Relief Society President is because God places us in callings to teach us skills and attributes we may not gain any other way. Not that we are amazing or spectacular saints being called to positions of grandeur or aspiration, He calls us in our weakness and qualifies us for the work. If we all acted out of our own free will and accord to the best of our ability there would be no formal need for callings in the church. We are all just the little guys, no calling in the church is better than another. It's some whacked Utah status quo to have this or that calling...wild!

Regardless of who said the comments for there were others sassing players, and here I am sassing Andrew, maybe he had a hard day at work and I should have responded to him with empathy and love? I know I should have... however it brought me to a further reflection of what's been on my mind most of the day-a need to be proactive and not reactive to life's happenstances. Covey covers this in his literature and I know it to be true. Positivity, encouragement, and charity are the way to others feeling God's love through us. We need to always strive to lift where we stand and be builders of the kingdom. Not build up personal walls to keep us safe, but if we have a focal point on building others up, in turn the Lord elevates us to a higher plane than we can yet comprehend. This is where the principle of forgetting yourself and going to work comes into play...I will bring duct take next week, but I will most likely use it, asking Andrew to tape my mouth that I remain positive and proactive and for anyone else in need. Better yet maybe to tape my flops to my feet so I can run the bases in them!

Validation and Bouncing on the Bed

Tonight at dinner we discussed a short movie called Validation. It's incredible to recognize how influential the validation of others can be. Interesting enough, we have those in our lives who increase our self-worth by their kind words, recognition, and love. We can either chose to be those people of incredible impact or not. The choice is ours for the taking! Sometimes we do all we can to uplift and edify another person directly, yet try as we may, we lose the light at the end of the tunnel and ultimately lose hope. No matter what, no kind deed, word, or thought is ever wasted as Charity never faileth!

TJ Thymes is amazing in this short film with his heart-felt message of love, smile, and hope. I love his soothingly satisfying sounding voice, fantastically fun fusion of hair, breathtakingly bright blue eyes, and the enduring endearment of his character.

This is a must see:

Validation

This being said I must admit the highlight of the evening was bouncing on Mike's amazingly soft bed. Although I think everyone was in shock at my follow-through. When I said I wanted to bounce on the bed I meant it! Previous to my jumping we piled 5 chics on his Tempur-Pedic queen mattress and pillow-top. Then I politely asked them to leave so that I could jump in the bed in my dress. Thanks guys for allowing me my childish requests of innocent fun! Will you please post pictures so I can add them to this blog. :o)

Nothing to Fear Except Fear Itself

Yesterday a bunch of us went to Lagoon, another estro fest, and had a great time! One of the objectives of my day was to assist my friend in overcoming her fears. She's one of the "best sports" I know-always up for anything and wanting to try new and exciting things. One of my true adventure buddies, a majority of the time she possesses the world's best attitude! Our lovely Lace is horrified of heights and in passing weeks, I've remembered my own initial fear of climbing and activities of greater altitude-how I initially embraced my fear and now it is something I dabble in the excitement thereof. In my youth, I overcame it by riding the chair lifts, high school cliff jumping off the 30 and 90 footers at Cave Point into Lake Michigan, in college it's been snowboarding, bungie jumping, and parasailing. Regardless your more intense fears can be holding one back from their grandest adventures or happinesses.

In Lace's case, you resolve the concern or issue previous tho throwing her into the lions den. Her faith must be increased to the point there is no room for doubt. Or to teacher her it is her own conscious decision to entertain her fears in heights. It's not rations, it's not beneficial to her longevity and joy (well maybe in the survival of the fittest, but besides the humanistic approach)-I won't be able to take her climbing or boarding this year if she can't face her fear of heights. We worked towards this outcome yesterday and I feel as though we made some very good headway. She made a statement yesterday and I woke up this morning with gratitude and more of a recognizable reliance on some of the gifts I've been given. She said in moments right after the embrace of her fears, "You know it's the Spirit that makes you so good at helping others face their fears and getting over them!"

I concede and would want it no other way. When the Spirit is the teacher, lessons are learned and an indelible impression is made on the mind of the learner to change needed behavior or mind set on a more permanent basis. I find her statement to be of the most absolute worth-my ability and willingness to teach through the Spirit is key in this life. My love, passion, and willingness to do my best to stay worthy of His companionship set me up to use this talent in a much needed capacity. As Elder Uchtdorf pointed out in last conference, "We live well below our means." Many of us have made covenants in this life to dine at the shmorgas board of absolute delicacy and what do we do as individuals with these blessings? Indeed, we need to "get off the sidelines and practice what we preach (or know/believe)."

So the story goes...our dear Lace our first ride of the day was Blast-off and then throughout the afternoon we took the Gondola a few rides where we practiced giving in the control and safety mechanisms we mentally exert to keep us from our fears. Then the very end rides of the day were Re-entry and Blast-off! We practiced and focused on vicarious living-observing others let go of their fears, their underlying reason for doing so, and what joy can come from this journey of embracement. True doctrine was taught as we were able to talk about how much fear and joy oppose each other! Where doubt and fear are...faith and joy cannot be! They are the counterparts of each other and if we are to experience the Heaven's good for us we need to be willing to expel doubt and fear that we may obtain her costliest blessing! Fantastic job Lacey in being faithful and believing and helping me remember the dependance on the Lord for some of His blessings to me!

This also made me think of another experience when one of my best friends went up to Bear Lake for the weekend, to camp out, recreate in nature, and go boating. The only hold up is he was afraid of water...I can't remember how much time he spent in the water that weekend, but I recall a group of our friend took out Trace's boat and eventually he took up the courage to get in the water. He didn't get his feet wet, but fully immersed himself in his fears, embraced them, and was filled with joy! I can only now, in retrospect see how that day has impacted his life for good as he too has made covenants and been filled with a capacity to help others do the same! I'm so honored to have spent so many years with you and look forward to our lasting friendship-based on truth and honesty.

Virtual Reality

As an instructional designed for the Corporation of the President one of our goals was to make training for the people around the world as interactive as possible. The more hands-on a training is the better and more cognitive the experience for the learner. This is one of the highest goals for the training user experience. During my three years of working here I was able to attend a lecture series given by some of the top instructional designers in the nation. One of them used the computer program, Virtual Life in their presentation. It was what we thought was on the extreme side of the conference as he showed how we could have our meetings, trainings, and team building experiences as a virtual experience.

This being noted, I felt quite validated in cutting myself off from pretty much all video games after attending a fireside given by Elder Bednar in May of 2009:

http://lds.org/liahona/2010/06/things-as-they-really-are? lang=eng&query=bednar+virtual+reality

One of my favorite parts of his teachings was reference to those of Joseph Smith, “We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man, and when cast out by the Savior he asked to go into the herd of swine, showing that he would prefer a swine’s body to having none. All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not."

This talk made an influence on me that I am still grateful for to this day. I do my best to be doing something productive with my time and about the only time I will make the exception for video games is for positive interaction, time on-line to further relationships with friends and family, or teaching and recording purposes, such as this blog.

Last night I had an awesome experience with playing on the XBox with friends! I occasionally enjoy Rock Band and Guitar Hero, I love singing, and rocking out on the guitar, the bass, and playing the drums very much. Dance Dance Revolution and Just Dance are other games I enjoy, but last night I played two games that take the cake...literally I could play them with friends frequently and not feel bad about it. Maybe because they're sports and some of the guys were actually sweating by the end of their turns! Awesome-XBox Kinect Dance and Kinect Sports. Boxing, sprinting, javelin, ping-pong, hurdles, bowling, beach volleyball, discus, etc, and then dancing was more fun to watch others and cheer them in getting their grooves on!! Such a great time and refreshing change of mind-all thanks to our gracious hostesses-Natalie and Ariel!!! Love you both!