In institute I was reminded how this life it a time to prepare, not only to meet God, but moreover striving to do all we can to become like him. I was brought to a visual picture of the earth being our classroom and, the good Lord, the teacher. We can either excel in this life, doing well with our experiences, or continually having Him say redo across the top of our assignments and then back to the drawing board until we get it right. His grading system is perfectly just and full of mercy, endless amounts of do-overs until we get out of it what we need in order to obtain the qualities of a saved being.
Recently some harsh lessons I’ve been learning are in large part for my own personal humility. I find myself willing to take the hand of others or even allowing them to carry me, both in the mental and physical sense of context. I’ve always been the one caring for all of those around me- my sisters, brother, grandparents, and friends. I’ve always been placed in the situation to be the strong one and not really allowing others to serve me. My roommate is the best example of service I’ve ever known and a few exceptional others placed around me. Her dad is one of the handymen around the house and comes to town and takes us to dinner. Lace reads me better than any female I know, it’s such a blessing to have someone to open up to and trust.
I had a mentor type example placed in my life the beginning of May and he is very abrupt and blunt in our conversations and I love him for his constant care, critical council and adamant advice. He teaches me straight and undiluted, he sees me as his daughter and treats me as such. BpB doesn’t take my crap and makes faces at me in front of his cohorts and colleagues, slightly obscene gestures for a public figure, but that’s alright since everyone watches everyone else anyway. He watches me at activities and then encourages me to keep being an assertive member of my community and lifting the hands that hang down. What a great blessing in my life!
Another is the chance I’ve had to open up my heart! My best guy friend, we’ll call him CC for short, taught me trust like I’ve never known, or at least not in the past 16 years of my life! He was so open and honest with me upon the beginning of our friendship, it’s taught me it literally hurts the heart to be that open, but when all is said and done, there aren’t really any regrets from it! He’s taught me to be absolutely alright with my open dirt surfing hippie self, less judgmental of others and their circumstances and to embrace awkwardness. There is so much good mixed in with the tragedy and innocent suffering of life. He’s helped me have greater compassion and love for my fellowman and in breaking down my walls I’ve found the greatest amount of love in my heart for him. I’ve found I am really good at being rude, mean, and generally unkind when I feel vulnerable and in allowing me the blessing of sincerest love, it leaves me wide open for absolute tragedy and the vastest vulnerability I’ve ever been placed in. Since this recognition has occurred I’ve begun trying to implement more proactivity versus reactivity in my life.
We are here to act and not be acted upon. My goal for the rest of the year is to be Proactive, not reactive: And Sarah suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. It’s a tall order to fill, but as I pray for it-all things are possible with His help! After the best teachers give you what you need when you really need it.
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