Rolling waters cannot remain impure

I have found new meaning in the phrase, "Keeping on Your Toes." The way the Lord purifies our hearts and hands is the process by which we progress through righteous acts of our individual agency. Oft times I find myself, in the higher mountains and I can't help myself longing to drink from the mountain streams. Now many say it may not be the wisest thing, but my father taught me if you take from the top where the water is continually moving there is little to now chance of the rolling waters to become stagnant and infected with the numerous hosts of bacteria found in the outdoors.

Much like these top waters our lives are mixed with currents, runoff, and changing temperatures. These trials, challenges, and changes in our lives are the very opportunity the Savior uses to beckon us to come unto Him. When we really fully in our faith in Him no challenge is to great, trial to hard to work through, and and change to drastic to find peace within the solace of His care. How often do we minimize the profound affect the Atonement make take place in our lives as we cast our burdens upon the Lord? Do we believe in His great sacrifice, to stand firm in the faith on a daily basis? When do open our mouths enough to share the good news of His gospel with those around us? When we fully appreciate what it is we have been given we pass it along to those who could benefit from His message-the whole of mankind.

How long can rolling waters remain impure? The next time you think of the tide and how hard it seems at time to stay afloat, remember He is there willing to lift you to safety and in the process purify your heart and hands that you may more readily serve Him who is mighty to save!

The Young Men in my Life

As I drove into work this morning I remember a parallel morning years ago as I drove from the Avenues to the SL Institute to attend a class for returning missionaries. I remember the sun's breaking rays over the mountain side as spiritual inspiration opened upon my mind and it was revealed to me within the hour I would be asked to serve on council at the Salt Lake Institute, not for just a year, but to serve in various capacities and callings in the next four years over firesides for the Returned Missionary Council, Director of Missionary Work, and Sports and Recreation.

Similar to the experience of that morning where I was taught why despite my constant concern as a full-time missionary of why the Lord would continually call me to server in the student areas of Washington State, Gonzaga, Spokane Falls Community College, Eastern Washington, and lastly University of Idaho. In my mind, The Gospel and Good News of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was for families, little did I see the correlation of me recognizing the truth of it as a freshman at Utah State and how important it would be for me in upcoming years to see how Student and Young Single Adult Wards we're to function and be set up. All of my previous mission experience have been an abundant source of knowledge, obedience, and faith promoting experiences which provided me to apply what I learned as a full time missionary.

Serving on Institute Council has blessed my life immeasurably! I cannot even count the friends I have made, the mentors and teachers I have gratefully received, and the foundation I now recognize I will need for what is before me. It helped me to a grow a love for attending classes, the overlying institution therein, and then graduate with a diploma and a certificate. It was by service through the latter-day student association, I fell in love with student wards, my peers, and gave me a greater capacity and desire to serve within my wards. During this same time I've been called to be a visiting teacher, district leader, and supervisor, a ward missionary and gospel doctrine teacher both multiple times, a stake sports coordinator/representative, a temple prep teacher, a mission prep teacher, a family home evening co-chair, and in three different Relief Society Presidencies. Until yesterday I thought serving in Relief Society would be my supporting and saving grace in teaching my students in the seminary classroom-until one of the students asked if we could have "missionary moments" where we learn what are the kinds of questions investigators have...striking me a bit odd...aren't we all eternal investigators in some sense of the phrase? Shouldn't we be? Willing to strive on a daily basis to ask questions and do all that we can to have them answered to the fullest extent?

Who God calls-He has prepared and we must place our trust in Him, that as much as we may not feel adequate He makes up the difference and we become capable, through our diligence and long-suffering, to be who He has called us to be.

It was about the ♥, it's still about the ♥, and it will always be about the ♥

This has been an awesome missionary week, starting last Friday! Saturday I had an awesome conversation with a friend who recently returned home from his mission over a month now...It was about how in missionary work-the greatest thing we can learn is love, love, love. He talked of his mission in Mexico and the experiences he had with loving the people. He's such a great light to me and helping me remember the things that matter most. The light of our Savior emanates through him and I find myself remembering mission memories as he talks about moments from his.

It made me remember how it almost seems easier to turn off our hearts, build up a fence and lay a brick wall to keep ourselves and what we feel as safe and secure. In reality this is the carnal security we look for to keep out the vulnerability of Christ-like love. For perfect love casteth out all fear, but we must be willing to embrace the risk, and not be lulled away by the adversary and his half truths. There is no greater power in the universe for this is what all other powers, rites, and ordinances are based upon-The Love of God.

Back stepping to Friday in my 5th period seminary class, I had a prized pupil draw a picture of me. Although it was a flattering image it was in the middle of class and he was becoming a distraction to the learning of many others in the class. This young man I've felt impressed to make the class president. This year will be the first he passes and he plans on serving a mission. He is a good young man, with more energy than most, a golden/willing heart, and a love of all man. He's invited his friend who isn't a member of the church to enroll in institute in the same hour he's in. There are many more things which inspire me to appreciate this young man as I do, mostly a few of the other faculty warned me about him. My teaching was evaluated by a brethren from down town. They questioned why this young man was class president; I went into some of his background and began to cry. As I apologized for my tears, they stopped me in my words and stated they were validated out of my genuine love for my students. This is true! I love these students which brings me to my next thought.

I have a three classes I teach: 2 at a high school seminary and a 6th grade class in the afternoons. that gives me a total of for a grand total of 79 investigators in my young teaching pool, that doesn't even count the countless sisters I have in my life to teach, lead, and help them feel Christ's love for them. I never thought I'd have a bigger teaching pool than the 49 on the mission. Where have I been the past few years in my reasoning? This grand idea and recognition of opportunity was just recognized in talking to my friend. Then I starting going deeper in my mind. I'm blessed to work at a private school in the afternoon where my colleagues are again not members, but are amazing and live wonderful lives according the truths they do know and understand. These are all older and much wiser pillars in the community and I look up to them in so many aspects.

Working at a seminary in the morning, my day starts about 4 a.m., am fed physically and personally spiritually in the morning by my personal endeavors, my Lacester, my students, and other cohorts teaching the restored gospel to the youth. Then I move forward and by 10:30 am out feeding others by sharing His light and love. Today my little favorite 6th grader, who claims to be atheist did well on his religion test and even spoke about going back to Jesus Christ's presence escape his lips. Many days I feel maybe as Ammon of old, willing to serve and unable to proclaim all I know until due time. Diligently serving until the time is at hand for deliverance of His word. I've never felt so much physical, spiritual, and emotional distraction-I lay awake most nights tossing and turning milling around ideas that either are distractions or pure intelligence and there seems to be no middle ground. It is all about who I entrust my thoughts, motives, and desires.

Another thing that occupies my thoughts are two other men that weigh heavily on my mind. One will be home from his mission in 3 weeks. He was a best friend before he left and had great expectations upon his return home. I just don't know what to think or feel-it leaves me somewhat paralyzed and I never really thought this time would come. Now that it has-I can't help, but rejoice for I know he will have become one of the best returned missionary there ever will be. It will change the dynamics of my life and I hope I am willing to accept-come what may and love it.

The other man comes back to SLC in December and herein lies other great expectations. Expectations that we live up to our potential-that the Atonement of our Lord is as real as we allow it to become in our lives. We love Him because he first loved us and in the situation I am daily reminded of agency and how this life is a time to prepare to meet God. We must move forward and prepare for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

Dreams that we Dare to Dream Really do Come True...

I was listening to a dear friends mellifluous voice the evening before last as she played and sang this song for us over the campfire. The lyrics seized upon my mind and I was dumbstruck at the many things we pursue in this life-the things we dare to sacrifice vulnerability and other comforts for are the dreams we end up with when all is said and done.

I've found the things we set off fall by the wayside and those we focus and embrace with all of our heart, no matter the cost, will eventually pay off in the end. It is where we place our energy, our thoughts, and our time when we need not be placing it anywhere at all, that beckons us over the rainbow to the belief and hopes all of our dreams, our righteous ones anyway, really do come true.

As I visited with one of my cool gal friends this afternoon we were talking about how upon the arrival home after a mission people come up with these illustrious plans, goals, and time tables for their lives. This being one of the biggest oxymorons that could ever exist in the lives of recently returned missionaries. Young adults who just spent countless hours teaching and preaching there is a loving Father in Heaven who knows all of His individual children and has a plan for each of us. Why we try to make our own thereafter is more than ridiculous.

I had an interview this week with the man who will in ten months time submit my name to the education board of the church if I am found of stalwart report to teach the youth in the seminary setting on a permanent basis. He asked me such penetrating questions like why I want to be a seminary teacher, for how long, how many times I'd been proposed to, do I ever want to get married, have children, be willing to move out of state to teach on assignment, etc. I answered them all them without skipping a beat and with the righteous intentions of my heart. He used three words to describe me and I agree fully with his assessment: fun, enthusiastic, and passionate-being filled with love.

I have been struggling the past few weeks keeping up working two jobs, masters classes, my church calling, giving quality time to friends, and merely trying to keep my head above water. It is my sincere hope that the dreams we dare to dream really do come true!

The Natural Man is an Enemy to God

As I was working today I had a insightful, delightful experience of edification brought to my by my principal at Bingham Seminary. We were going through the teaching schedule for this upcoming school year, as I was giving input, we stopped on the Plan of Salvation, or Plan of Happiness. He asked me questions I hadn't really reflected on a while and I acknowledge I will be forever grateful for the time he took from his busy schedule to teach me this afternoon.

What he asked was powerful and may best be pondered upon: 1) What is the overarching purpose of the plan-the end result? 2) What are the most important items rarely discussed or briefly brushed over as the plan is taught to others, or explained by others and my question to him 3) Do men really come into the world with a natural disposition to do evil?

The overarching purpose of the plan is to enable us with knowledge and an ability to set our sites on steps in proving ourselves worthy to going back to live with God, living in such a way we become like Him and then ultimately gain everything He already has. The key here is becoming like him. Moroni teaches, "But ^acharity is the pure ^blove of Christ, and it endureth^cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, ^apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true ^bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall ^cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be ^dpurified even as he is pure." We should live together in love in our hearts that through our actions our hearts become pure. It is then we will know and understand Him, since we have transpired into a being of such caliber.

The items in the plan either not discussed of in briefness brushed over are: 1) The Atonement of our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ 2) Agency 3) The Fall 4)Principles and Ordinances and 5) The Creation. Where would we be without these doctrines taking an active part in our lives? The plan couldn't be fulfilled without each of these integrally working together for our individual and collective good. I can't imagine teaching the Great Plan of Happiness minus these pivotal points of doctrine.

After talking about the plan I had a question that has been brewing in my mind since placed there in June...Are we all really born carnal and devilish? There is a two part answer to this question: Yes-our bodies have a great disposition to do evil. King Benjamin taught, "For the ^anatural ^bman is an ^cenemy to God, and has been from the ^dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he ^eyieldsto the enticings of the Holy ^fSpirit, and ^gputteth off the ^hnaturalman and becometh a ⁱsaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a ^jchild, ^ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." This is one of my favorite verses of scripture, for it gives us all of the keys to fulfill our divine birthright as future kings and queens, priests and priestesses and children of a Heavenly King and being we have the privilege to call Father. The mortal body we were given is corrupt and mortal, it will invite and entice us to go with the ways of the world and take us from Christ and all His plan has to offer-even eternal life. The flip side of the coin is we have our spirit that have now united with our physical bodies. Depending on who we were in the pre-existence and how we are choosing to currently in our lives, we are given power, strength, and direction to not be enticed by that which cannot satisfy. It is all a choice in if we place our bodies in control of our spirits or if we place our spirits in governance over our bodies. Who are you enlisting to obey-I know as for me and my house, or temple, we will serve the Lord.

I look forward to the day of His appearing and hope previous to His coming I may purify my heart, be filled with His love, that I may recognize Him inasmuch as I have become like Him.

Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself! FDR

I wonder how many have researched out the background and source of this quote. I have seen it used by many, but I think it would mean more to us if we researched the context from whence it came. It was from Franklin D. Roosevelt's first inaugural speech into the presidency of this great nation. It came at a time when many in the country began losing hope they would ever see through the time known as the great depression. It was 1932, in 1933 the bottom fell out and and most of the country began to despair.

I had this thought cross my mind this morning as I thought how my father fashioned a road bike to and from work. It was he that insisted on me finding a love in the great sport of biking. I love mountain biking and down hilling, but there is something many of you, if not all of you don't know. The summer between my 5th and 6th grade year I had was in a biking accident and I'll be the first to admit it scarred me something horrific. Every time I straddle a bike, push on the pedal-I feel it. The fear in the pit of my stomach and I force it out with every pedal I push. My brother got me into mountain biking a few years ago and I was able find a love for trails, however in going to Moab two years ago on a biking trip the slick rock freaked me out enough that I left the group and went off by myself-I just didn't want to slow them down.

I've lived with friends who had road bikes, but until this summer haven't been around so many people with such passion for road biking. My first time going was week before last and as scary as it seemed, when all was said and done I found therein happiness, for "It lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort (also FDR)." I didn't have to go by myself, I had another friend who'd never gone and we had other friends who let us borrow their bikes so we could go.

However, more importantly it's what gotten me to the point of purchasing my first vintage Schwinn road bike this morning. She's a blue beauty, in fact this is what I've named her. Beauty comes in life as we embrace the hard things, not only to learn from them, but change in the face of them. So I will work backwards-Alaina thanks for riding your bike the other night, it made me recognize I didn't need a new bike. My weekend will be reserved for climbing and lovely rides with you.

Cameron, Andi, Dan and James-it's your outward enthusiasm about biking that makes me have a desire to rise to the occasion. I may never be able to go on your extravagant rides and trips, especially after I've seen how jacked up you all come back afterwards. I get enough scrapes and scratches from climbing. :o) Thank you for always inviting me, one of these days I will surprise you and say indeed! Dan do it-my bike was a steal of a deal and you only live once.

Brent and Tiegs thanks for being such an example of what a great family activity it is to be on bikes! Then letting me experience multiple kinds of riding. :o) It reminded me of why I began biking in the first place, as a child I was the kid that rode my tricycle for as long as physically possible-I remember having the seat heightened to the max and my knee caps hitting the handle bars because I didn't want to give up the safety of the three wheels. It kept me grounded and for some reason I didn't care all of my friends were on bikes!

Ian thanks for explaining me enough logistics behind road biking it peaked my curiosity to begin asking questions. It is all about asking questions and obtaining knowledge.

Molly I will be taking you up on your teaching offer in the near future, preferably before you move to Texas! It's so horribly humid there-not nice biking weather.

Overall the purchase I made this morning made me reflect when we are surrounded by those who will uplift, teach, and edify we can then have the courage to place ourselves in scary situations realizing if we fall there are others around us to help catch us, brush us off and help us hop back into life!! Thanks for your love and friendship-I look forward to a fall of fun-filled cycling adventures!

The gifts and talents we are given...

The other day a sister from my previous ward made some FB comment about not knowing what to do with her studies and formal education. I've had a few years to ponder on this question and only in the past few months solidified I've had the answer all along-well ever since I came home from the mission.

We are given so many talents, righteous desires, hobbies we adore, etc. What do we do with them? Here is an example: one who relates well to children, but in particular children who are extra special. Kids that have received labels in life: those with Asperger's, Autism, Down's Syndrome, and the list is endless. They seem to love me as much as all of the others. I can't help, but feel the reason for this is because I treat them no different. I don't baby or caudal, talk down to, or think myself better than them. They merely learn differently than I do or have different capacities than the "norm" of the population. Who defines normal anyway or wants to be normal?

I work with a darling young man I will call Hen. He has Asperger's syndrome and is one of the most brilliant peeps I have the privilege of associating. He has been the highlight of my summer and brings fulfillment and joy into everything we do together. We've read two books, worked on social interactions, mathematics, and lots of reinforcement through recreational therapy. Today he had a bit of a validated melt-down this evening. Hen had worked all afternoon at a crafts camp, which is mentally taxing on the creative end of the spectrum. He was tired and ready to jet when I came to collect him. It was obvious to me he was thirsty, lonely, and sad. After purchasing a notebook, we started in on fractions. I should have seen it coming-it's amazing how I've had the educational background and work experience to deescalate such a situation that could have gotten out of control very fast.

It was all thanks to the still small whisperings of practices I've been taught academically and seen in action previously. He wanted to shut down, scream, fight, throw things, and lose it. I got very quite versus aggressive and started whispering. Immediately he calmed and within 5 minutes we talked through his frustration of showing his work in math problems, gained an understanding of why it's important, and found real life application and problems to his predicament. It was a great teaching opportunity. Further we talked through self control and why it may be important how others perceive our actions and why communication is key in all the relationships we have with others.

We caught the movie Mr. Popper's Penguins, which we both found to be absolutely delightful! Much better than the "grown-up" movies I've seen as of late. It was a warm and fuzzy movie-we laughed and giggled, he asked question (always feels like a touchdown when this happens!), and we even talked about acronyms for texting; he's a pretty hip bloke! All in all it was rewarding because he wasn't a lump in the theater-it was interactive reinforcement and the conversation is always so intellectual and invigorating-I wish I could say as much for most of my cohorts. Hen and I both have a deep love for animals and in this case birds. We went to Fairmont Park and enticed ourselves to come back and feed the ducks before they fly south for the winter.

I enjoy spending my time with him so very much-it almost seems absurd I will get paid to spend time with him. I guess this is how you know you are in the right spot-when you love what you do so much it feels like you should be paying someone because you enjoy doing what you do so much. It becomes you, it defines you, it allows/encourages you to be the best you!

Neither cold nor hot

In the Book of Revelations the saints of the church are being rebuked for being lukewarm. Are there times in our lives when we are spiritually lukewarm? How can we increase our commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained, " Those destined to inherit the terrestrial kingdom are those who are lukewarm members of the church and who have testimonies, but who are not true and faithful in all things" (A New Witness for the Articles of Faith, 1985, 146).

In retrospect of a conversation I had last week I am rarely if ever lukewarm-I am always one extreme or another. Unless in an exception I am worried in my decision making process, when I feel one thing, but talk myself into another or not following through on my initial desires place within me by Him whom knows me best. Are you getting hotter or colder?

I began reading the Book of Mormon at the beginning of the summer and am a few chapters away from finishing it cover to cover. In my study I have been pondering and noting actions and the motivators in the peoples lives and conversion. More than anything I have noted it is all about the hearts of the people(159 references in the B of M). If the people's hearts are in the right place-goodness prevails. If their minds or lips are in filled with knowledge that's how far it stops-the front door of the mind or the mouth. When our hearts are involved in our personal conversion process and that of others, it penetrates to the deepest chasms of our soul. Our minds can be a part of this process with our heart, but our minds must be faith filled and ready to believe. Faith casts out fear or doubt which surrounds us in the world in which we now live, there are absorbent amounts of the philosophies of men mingled with truth. We must follow our heart that our minds may resist the logic and craftiness of men (D&C 52:14-20).

May I be as a child of Helaman and apply his words into my heart, "I desire that ye should deny the ^ajustice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his ^bmercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in^chumility." May I neither be cold or warm, but filled with His love that all may have a desire to come unto Him.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

'Tis true I have been reading the Tale of Two Cities-the soul filled classic about the French Revolution. As in countries when political issues are strewn about in a mess and people that reside therein are in turmoil to settle; we too can be in personal unrest within our own countries or even more intimate, within our very souls.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way (part of the first paragraph, A Tale of Two Cities, Dickens)."

How often do we feel like this in our own personal lives? I know when a trial comes to us or an opportunity for growth comes, I initially see how unfair it may seem and then cause I can't stand misery strive to find the joy in the journey I am embarking upon. What lessons am I to learn from this experience? Are there things I could have done to endured in a way more pleasing? How to apply the lessons, moving forward that I may not need to endure a similar experience or obtain the humility that I am open to passing through it again. I see the great wisdom and love for life in the above quotation. Dickens is striving to open our eyes to the sometimes harsh realities of the soul.

Heavenly Father delivers the righteous desires of our hearts with counterparts to allow for balance and humility, that we may obtain the attributes He has and likewise desires for us. I've been reflecting on my summer and how I can easily see things as Dickens-the good amongst the bad and then live every day with a broader perspective and keep an open mind that I love as my Master loves others, regardless of the ultimate outcome.

I was really struggling about a month ago, I'd been given a job I had been working toward for the past two years. It should have been ridiculously thrilled and overjoyed at the opportunity that lie before me to teach high schoolers who they are and give them a glimpse of whom they can choose to become! Instead I allowed myself to be distracted, and in all honesty I was having the best time of my life. I hadn't laughed or smiled that much since I was a missionary. I was allowed the chance to feel like this because I took all form of judgement and through it out the window. I paid no attention to seemingly red flags and what others in this world may have thought or said about my circumstance. Until I found myself speaking to another about it. I allowed the ignorant judgements of this man to stomp out my heart and many acquisitions of the Christ-like characteristics I'd been working toward.

I acted impulsively upon his requests and despite the mantic impressions I'd already noted, I went forward with his direction and began the experiment invited me to perform. Now I've been in countless labs for both biology, chemistry, and psychology. By far this was the biggest failure and most toxic I've ever conducted-all because people and more importantly their hearts were involved. I met back with him and reviewed the flaws in his experiment. He had been given more information at this time from his family, gotten to know my strength in spirit, and stood corrected on the altered his stance on some council given. Now it is seemingly to late. The experiment an absolute flop, people left off worse than before, and irreversible damage done.

In the meantime, I was given the opportunity to make new friends, broaden my horizons even more of the ignorance that surrounds me, receive and accept an offer in a second job at the Choir School of the Madeline, and accept a call to work with activation within our young single adult ward as a 1st councilor in the Relief Society. It's either feast or famine in life. God knows I do best when I'm broken that He may take me by the hand and give me answers to my prayers. We cannot become who we are meant to be while focussing inward. We must look outward and be anxiously engaged in serving that hands that hang down. It is the best of times, it is the worst or times when we set our focus as such!

Faith-The Choice is Yours

You don't lose at life until you quit.

A facebook friend had this as a comment the other morning when I woke up on my news feed. I thought, "true statement," and went on with my day hoping he is doing better. The comment made me think, his attitude was in the right place-90% of life is attitude and 10% is what happens to you in life.

This made me think of many other coined phrases I believe to be true and run along the same line, "It isn't over until it's over," "Life is what you make of it," and "When there's a will there is a way!" I had a few habits in high school I desperately tried kicking, when I would ask my friends for their support and encouragement I remember many of them would tell me, "Quitters never win," or they would just tell me it was hopeless to try and change anything. Now almost ten years later I have altered my life in such a way I am who I've always wanted to be, working towards my dreams, and recognizing nothing will stop me or hold me back except those I give the power to do so.

I thought about how I've been able to keep a positive attitude through my trials and test of my faith and integrity. I haven't always been lil miss sunshine (however, it was a childhood nickname.) My freshman year I remember walking home from Chem Lab with my partner and him stopping me in the street and saying don't you ever have anything positive to say? It blew my mind and I instantly recognized Brock's comment as being reality. I could be such a downer and it was my choice. After that year I moved off campus, attended a different ward, hung out with a more mature crowd, and started preparing to serve a full-time mission. My heart began to change and I started seeing how we can sometimes be a victim of circumstance, but we never need to be a victim of attitude. My perspective went from being dealt a hand to making my hand, being given lemons and making lemonade, or my personal favorite, " Seeing the glass half full.

There is a brand of hippie-wear I fell in love with in the last area of my mission, "Life is Good." I became such a big fan because the little slogans are true and happy symbols of positivity paired with a fun picture. Some of my favorites are, "Not all who wander are lost (with a pair of sandals)," or "Breakfast in Bed (a sleeping bag, a skillet, and campfire). More than anything, I bought into the ideal that no matter what, when all is said and done, Life really is Good!

What are 5 good things in your life? What are 5 things you can do to make someone else's life better? Why is it important to remember Life really is Good?

I took my lil HenHen bowling last week after he worked on summer schoolwork for 2 hours. Poor guy, my heart was hurting for him! He was such a trooper and kept pulling though in his journalling. Regardless, Hen has a hard time letting others win at games, not being upset about winning, and then when things don't completely go his way he wants to "throw in the towel" and be done. Well if I let him go on in such a way, he will have a less productive school year, won't make as many friends, and life will seem a little more dark and gloomy than his Asperger's already presents it to be at times. I won't have that-life is already challenging!

I pre-cursed bowling by telling him I would most likely beat him at bowling. I gave him the advantage/choice of bumpers, a lighter ball, and even first go. During the game we focused on sportsmanship and how even if he didn't knock down any pins we could still give each other high-fives, have a good attitude, and keep moving forward in the game. He did better than I thought he would at losing. He loathes losing and seemed to brush it off quite well, we talked about our actual scores after each frame and in the first three frames he was winning, but I knew once I felt the spin come into my throw, it was over. I was overwhelmingly impressed with how well Hen went with going with the flow (as he calls it). Not only did he embrace his loss, but he was able to find joy in the journey, and said within seconds of leaving the parking lot, "That was a really fun game, thanks for taking me!"

How often do we thank our creator for the incredible ride we call life and His assistance in our ability to keep a proper outlook and eternal perspective? I hope to be more like Henry and an aforementioned other's opinions on the span of life and find the gratitude in remembering taking it one day at a time and making it can be refreshingly invigorating!

I found my Christmas pickle shattered to smithereens this evening and felt quite dismal as I thought about how that was one of my prized tangible possessions from my mission. I don't normally get sad about things, but this had memories attached, my first Christmas in the mission field, Leavenworth's amazingness, and time with Tiff Brown. Then a few hours later instead of thinking on the dismal I thought of taking Fall break and talking my darling companion into going back to the mission for a trip for-it made the pickle busting not seem so bad after all! Plus proves my theory, you can find something positive in anything...that's right anything! It's called the glad game-thanks Polly!

Bridle your passions- a scripture study

o this blog in case you haven't noticed is about thoughts I've had during the day either inspired by my scripture study or just real life situations that turn me to doctrines I've studied. Last night I was swimming with at a buff man's pool and I would like to dedicate this post to him (I've never dedicated a post Wils, just so you're aware how special you are!!). For it was teasing by him that made me come up with the topic for yesterday's doctrine and it's application to life. Thanks for the inspiration and place of peace you provide when you invite us over to swim!! You have no idea how much I love being in water-it's a passion of mine!

I am a very passionate person for those of you who are new friends of mine and maybe not quite gotten to spend enough time with me. My largest passion by far in people-if I can do anything with people, I'm 100% in! I love people-it was a passion I developed as a missionary and it' sone that may even get me into trouble at times. I would much rather spend my time with people that doing anything else; with a close second of anything athletic or outdoors. A few of these passions are: snowboarding, rock climbing, hiking, swimming(Thanks for helping feed the monster Wils!), camping, soccer, sailing, ultimate, softball, volleyball, the list could pretty much go on forever...

This brings me to moments of reflection in my life when I've been driven by passion and pleased the Lord or others whom I love. Alma 38:12 We are blessed in our desires and even our passions that we may build His kingdom and establish Zion-this is where the passion for me fellowman comes from. The prophet Joseph taught, "A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race." I love God and hence He's filled me with this passion to love His children and want to take an active involvement in each of their lives. James 5:17 We are all subject to passions-it all about what we do with them, if we use them for good like Elias or if we allow them to be detrimental to our progression. What are you doing with your passions? How can you use them to build the kingdom?

Despite popular conversations I don't read my scriptures all day, just for part of it and even then there is a balance or a bridle. I may be a nerd for it, but I love what I love because I have a desire and innate ability/talent to "devour" the scriptures and then assist others in finding the same love for them I have acquired through their study. Where are you in your personal scripture study and what can you do to make them more effective, spiritual, and a blessing to your day? Figure it out and make it a little bit better than yesterday!

And then there was light

This evening as I was sitting back between friends watching the fireworks in the night sky I sat reflecting on what attracts us to light(s). There are always audible comments made about the fluorescence, sparkling, and breath taking glory of fireworks as they are displayed in their grandeur. I sat thinking about the countless fireworks I sat and viewed sitting next to my dad as a girl and into my early teens. It was something we thoroughly enjoyed together. Why did we love them so much? What makes us ooh and ah in the spectacularity of the moment?

I was brought to remember a talk given by Elder Uchtdorf on light in the 2006 Christmas devotional. He taught how we are naturally attracted to light, hence all of the lights at Christmas time and the warm glow they produce, which we are naturally drawn towards. As I sat and thought back to his words I reflected on how the things I love usually have something to do with light. My favorite season is summer-you can feel the glow of the sun on your skin and for me it warms my soul, it makes plants grow, it rotates the earth, there are so many things the sun does with His light.

Then I started thinking how people actually possess light, this light is made manifest through the soul. In ways like our smiles and the sparkle that gleams in our eyes and overall countenance. We are attracted to all kinds of light, yet we must be careful for much of the light the world tries to force on us, is temporary and will not bring the lasting light of Christ. Thinking of the brightest places of instant gratification in this world, those lights will fade out and we will be left with nothing except a void. How easy for me it would be to get sucked in and watch a bright screen of TV as one after another movie is watched, hours spent playing video games, or even too much time spent doing things of no worth on the computer. We must manage our time well that we may in turn fill our souls with lasting light. It is so easy to do, if we are not careful and I see nothing wrong with any of these activities on occasion as long as they are done in moderation and in order. May we find the light and fill ourselves with His-the kind that lasts, that fireworks may burn deep within our souls!

It really is all about the HEART

In recent weeks I've found myself questioning if I do put my heart too much into things and not enough logic or mind in what I think, say, and do. After much reflection and study I've concluded this to be completely and utterly false! Yesterday was the icing on the cake for me as I studied in the morning the words of Nephi in the fourth book, first chapter.

He teaches about the condition of the people and repeatedly about their hearts, "Surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God." Why were these people so happy? "There was no contention in the land." Why was there no contention in the land? "Because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people."

Within 16 years after these statements were declared Iniquity began to abound exceedingly. Why? "Because of the power of Satan who did get hold upon their hearts." The chapter goes on to relay the message of the people's hearts hardening regardless of the miracles performed by the three Nephites, Christ left to minister among them. What keeps our hearts soft, supple, and full of faith in His redeeming love like the three Nephites and other covenant keeping members of the church? "By the power of the word of God, which was in them." Gatorade used the slogan, "Is it in you?" Now I ask you as I've been asking myself? Is it in you, but I'm not meaning some thirst quenching Gatorade. Is the power of the word of God in you; enough that your heart is changed and that you no longer have a disposition to do evil, but to do good continually(Mosiah 5:2)?

That sums up my weeks of questioning and wondering if it is all about your heart. If we want to be the happiest and most righteous people under the heavens there are 10 references given in the standard works which truly testify it is all about your heart!

Deuteronomy 11:13

Deuteronomy 13:3

Joshua 22:5

1 Samuel 12:20

1 Samuel 12:24

Jeremiah 29:13

Joel 2:12

Mormon 9:27

Doctrine and Covenants 4:2

Doctrine and Covenants 11:19

All about your HEART by Mindy Gledhill

The Ultimate Game

Last night after FHE I was invited by some guys to play some ultimate at Sunnyside. I love ultimate with a passion, much like soccer one runs up and down the field making passed with the "bee" to other teammates with the total allowance of three steps while in possession. My roomie and friend, hadn't played until last night. In teaching her how to play the game I found myself become extremely prideful and competitive. With two busted thumbs it's a little on the rough side to throw and catch (they were throbbing by the time the game was over). My point is...I taught my friend to play and even though her throwing is much less than par her teammates made up the difference, catching her crazy passes and throwing her short and precise tosses. They made her look like a freaking all star and man was my ego killing. I could run circles around her, which you're supposed to do in order to block passes and catches. I found myself striving to aggress and intimidate the very being I was trying to teach and love.

Half-way through the game I could feel the monster of competition building inside me and I was debilitated at the fact I'd taught this chic to play and now she was trying to kick my trash-I could literal feel she and my pride in collision. She's been the learner most times along the way, but last night as I got ready for bed I recognized the roles had been reversed for the evening and I was to learn not to be a prideful jerk and be fine with those I teach excelling and doing better than I can even do at times. After all isn't this the whole purpose in teaching and obtaining various forms of glory? Oh wretched woman that I am..sometimes my heart exclaimeth...why can't I just be better than I am?

Damned if I do and damned if I don't

What does it mean to be damned? I grew up thinking it meant one was going to purgatory or hell. I have come to appreciate the saying more this year than I have in my life. I'm an optimist through and through, yet in recent weeks I've felt totally deserted and more confused than ever before. I have my dream job-teaching seminary, dream location of living (a garden, close walk to the U, friends in the neighborhood, a best friend for a roommate, best ward ever), a sister here in SLC w/ two darling kidos and a doggie, another job working at MCS with a my darling Hen, my health is a billion times better than last summer and I'm enjoying hiking, camping, sports, running, and even getting back into biking this summer! I'm working towards my life's dreams and goals again! On paper life is ridiculously great and yet I am left feeling unsatisfied-like there is something out there I am missing.

I think the last time I felt like this was when Mick came home early from his mission and his Bipolar had taken over how he viewed others and even perceived himself. I had put my whole heart into serving him, his family, and him doing well on his mission. It flopped and I recognized I wanted nothing to do with any of it after a month or two, but the pain I felt was that of the most exquisite heartache. It was the perfect distraction-him serving a mission allowed me to magnify an institute calling, care for my g'pa, learn to not set my heart on the things of this world, and grow in ways I could barely comprehend at the time. Yet, I remember feeling the same way-damned if I do and damned if I don't!

I am left to ponder upon the words of a pseudo father, "Sarah whatever you do you will do it well; I've never seen you do something you haven't put your whole heart into. It is really all about your heart. When your heart is His, He will use you time and time again. People ultimately feel the goodness of Him in you and they wanted to remember His love in their lives. The downfall I've experienced is getting a big head about it and floating away in personal arrogance and pride. I am no better off than the Nephites of old as they thought they knew better than He who created them.

I had a dream this past weekend where what I personally wanted wasn't in alignment with what the Lord wants. This guy I know and I were on missions, he in a three-some and I in a companionship with my companion going home. As she and I waited for her parents to come and pick her up, she slept on the couch and I went to study. He and his companions shared our pad and for some reason I went to hug him and he pushed me away with the arms length line, holding his ground. This was followed up by him stating, "You and I are serving different missions here." I was so bummed I took my books and went to study by myself in the bathroom. Slightly random, yet I don't ever dream, but when I do they are vivid and I remember almost every color hue, persons face, and other details. I woke up having a greater understanding, what I wanted from this young man wasn't what he was supposed to give me at this time.

I'll I'm really seeking is for salvation and exaltation. Knowing the tender mercies of the Lord, I'm going about it the wrong way, looking in the wrong places, or in the wrong time. I'm still unsure which, but am certain of one thing-when the stars aren't aligned or in reality when His will and ours aren't aligned accordingly, with patience and long-suffering, we may be led to feel damned and this is a not-so-nice feeling. It makes me want to bust out in rage and divine discontent and say, "Why Lord, what would you have me do? I know what I was supposed to have done differently. May we move on to part two?" I'm satisfied to know I am in intermission, haven't been forsaken, and yet I've gotten the popcorn and soda and just feel as though I am sitting here unduly impatient waiting for the previews to be over and the movie to start.

MIA

How often do we find ourselves missing in action? What kind of action may I be making reference too? The kind of action that makes life better for those around us-building, laying foundations, loving, and yes most of this requires great effort, work, and sacrifice of what we may want at any given time in our lives.

A week ago BpB got up and said people are given callings to do the things otherwise they may not be so compelled to do. It struck a cord with me and I thought-I have the best calling in the world-teaching-something that comes so naturally to me I could almost do it in my sleep. It's a God given talent and I recognize it as such and 100% grateful. This calling wasn't really stretching me and I find myself sinking into complacency and some forms of mediocrity. I need to be my best self and am really struggling in finding anything to motivate me to be this right now. It's a horrible feeling and I get down on myself even more for experiencing it. Something was brought to my attention a few weeks ago and even more so this very afternoon:

In sacrament this guy got up to speak-pretty sure he is the ward mission leader and everything he said resonated with me so strongly and I felt a strong desire to shake off the dust and stand up for many truths I've been pondering upon the past couple of weeks. I've been thinking a lot about words of a living Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, " Converts need: a friend, a calling, and to be nurtured by the good word of God." He delivered this message in a leadership meeting I attended as a full time missionary in Spokane Valley. The powerful impact has never wandered from the still confines within my soul. Each of us within His church is a convert in one form or another. We all have ups and downs in our testimony, in our obedience, and in our faith. We all rely on the same being for our grace, mercy, and salvation. Likewise we all rely on fellow Saints to lift the hands of those that hang down. Haven't your hands ever hung down? Who was it that came and took you by the hand and became the answer to your prayers?

I was thinking about how we don't need more programs, we need more love, more goodness, more selflessness, and more courage. Meaning courage to do all of the small things, smile and say hello when you pass by others, encourage your roommates or neighbors to get involved in their visiting/home teaching, magnify their calling (to get one if they don't have one), pray, read the scriptures, render service, attend the temple, pay tithing/offerings, participate in Family Home Evening, the list goes on...the list that leads one to happiness in this life and eternal life in the next. If everyone were happy around each other, there would never be insecurity-only hope, love, and faith.

It's amazing how we can feel God's love in such simple and yet miraculous ways! I have friends and family that believe in everything from none to multiple to worldly Gods and yet I know He can somehow reach into their hearts and pull them closer to Him through us-anyone who wants to be a tool (in the nicest of context). It's all about the seemingly little things: a text message, a smile, a hug, words of encouragement, and the list goes on...Once we are converted, go...

What are you doing for someone else to help them feel of His love?

Do you invite others to come with you to activities?

Are you attending the activities yourself?

Where do you hold your daily scripture study?

Is your relationship to the Father manifest in your prayers?

When do you attend the temple and give of other service?

What can you do to forget about your life and give it to those around you?

When you lose your life for His sake then you will find it!

Echo Canyon

Thursday evening my roomies and some friends went up to a cabin in the middle of the forest for some well deserved respite! What a glorious weekend it was! Not only did we get to spend time away from the rush and fast paced life we live in the city, but time actually escaped us pretty much all together. We stayed up late enjoying each others company with no power whatsoever and slept in later than I can remember doing, probably since the last time I was devastatingly ill. Friday we would have lost track of time all together except some more of our friends we coming up to stay and we needed to start dinner for them. We'd spent the whole day just playing, lounging, studying, and getting to know each other even better! It was awesome and for the first time since I was in elementary I stopped wearing a watch around my wrist. I am usually lost without it, but I'm testing out doctrine taught by Elder Maxwell, we are complete strangers to the earthly concept of time. This weekend proved it to me-we driven by the concept of time due to our cultures and competitive world. We push and we push ourselves and for what to fit more time in the day, week, or month.

This past week has taught me to embrace each new moment, pay attention to whom I'm with and give them my undivided attention. Quality time is so much better than quantity time. Listen and focus on those you are around, don't be distracted by the business of life or the technology that may frequently surround us. When I came home from the mission I refused to get a cell phone for the longest time. Once I did, I would leave it home with me as though it were a land line. I did the same on this trip, we didn't have service anyway and when I got home there were 17 missed calls and plenty of missed texts-slightly bordering on phone insanity. This yields me the amazing realization that I don't need my phone as often as I've convinced myself I do. In fact when I am with my family for Sunday dinner, anyone close to me knows I leave it either at home or in the car. Family time is precious-there isn't enough to begin with and I am not going to sacrifice that for anything else.

The pressures we place upon ourselves with always being available and accessible to everyone and their dog. As we drove home this evening I felt a sense of renewal, love, self, and overwhelming calmness. We clutter our lives with so much and then wonder why people have breakdowns, are all hyped up on anti-depressants, or even ulcers so prevalent in our lives. If we focused more on what we do with our time: with whom we talk, serve, love, play, or even give of ourselves, we would find an overwhelming amount of fulfillment. I was thinking about why I love the thing I do, whether it's hiking, climbing, boarding, biking, running, walking, fishing, singing, etc...it all boils down to-with whom I am doing what I'm doing.

Why do we spend our time in doing that is of little or no worth? If we aren't working on furthering or nurturing a relationship with another child of God, is it worth the time we invest? I will boldly declare, if it doesn't help another in one way or another, it is not worth our time, effort, or self. We are to be builders for that is why we've been saved for this time. To deny the distractions of this world and look forward to a much better world. As much as I love technology, it can be to our detriment. May we do all we do out of our deep love for Him, thanks for the time away and the natural beauties found therein.