"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way (part of the first paragraph, A Tale of Two Cities, Dickens)."
How often do we feel like this in our own personal lives? I know when a trial comes to us or an opportunity for growth comes, I initially see how unfair it may seem and then cause I can't stand misery strive to find the joy in the journey I am embarking upon. What lessons am I to learn from this experience? Are there things I could have done to endured in a way more pleasing? How to apply the lessons, moving forward that I may not need to endure a similar experience or obtain the humility that I am open to passing through it again. I see the great wisdom and love for life in the above quotation. Dickens is striving to open our eyes to the sometimes harsh realities of the soul.
Heavenly Father delivers the righteous desires of our hearts with counterparts to allow for balance and humility, that we may obtain the attributes He has and likewise desires for us. I've been reflecting on my summer and how I can easily see things as Dickens-the good amongst the bad and then live every day with a broader perspective and keep an open mind that I love as my Master loves others, regardless of the ultimate outcome.
I was really struggling about a month ago, I'd been given a job I had been working toward for the past two years. It should have been ridiculously thrilled and overjoyed at the opportunity that lie before me to teach high schoolers who they are and give them a glimpse of whom they can choose to become! Instead I allowed myself to be distracted, and in all honesty I was having the best time of my life. I hadn't laughed or smiled that much since I was a missionary. I was allowed the chance to feel like this because I took all form of judgement and through it out the window. I paid no attention to seemingly red flags and what others in this world may have thought or said about my circumstance. Until I found myself speaking to another about it. I allowed the ignorant judgements of this man to stomp out my heart and many acquisitions of the Christ-like characteristics I'd been working toward.
I acted impulsively upon his requests and despite the mantic impressions I'd already noted, I went forward with his direction and began the experiment invited me to perform. Now I've been in countless labs for both biology, chemistry, and psychology. By far this was the biggest failure and most toxic I've ever conducted-all because people and more importantly their hearts were involved. I met back with him and reviewed the flaws in his experiment. He had been given more information at this time from his family, gotten to know my strength in spirit, and stood corrected on the altered his stance on some council given. Now it is seemingly to late. The experiment an absolute flop, people left off worse than before, and irreversible damage done.
In the meantime, I was given the opportunity to make new friends, broaden my horizons even more of the ignorance that surrounds me, receive and accept an offer in a second job at the Choir School of the Madeline, and accept a call to work with activation within our young single adult ward as a 1st councilor in the Relief Society. It's either feast or famine in life. God knows I do best when I'm broken that He may take me by the hand and give me answers to my prayers. We cannot become who we are meant to be while focussing inward. We must look outward and be anxiously engaged in serving that hands that hang down. It is the best of times, it is the worst or times when we set our focus as such!
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