Yesterday I had a friend come home from his mission. He and I became friends a couple of years ago as he was my neighbor on The University of Utah campus. We had many common friends, belonged to the same ward, studied the gospel in the morning, and when all was said and done I enjoyed spending time with him, yet I knew my purpose was to see him get dropped off at the MTC and embark on the mission to which he'd been called.
I've decided in passing months, I'm impartial and almost indifferent to love...I've been waiting for some bomb-like feeling. Some huge deliriously happy, stupefying, all encompassing emotion to happen as I surround myself with members of the opposite sex.
I now believe I'm even more confused with my personal research than I ever have been. Yesterday I believe I experienced every form of love:
Friend-like love:
I ate lunch with a friend that when we converse I feel intellectually stimulated, he's very warm, kind and sincere when we spend time together and I know he genuinely cares about me as an individual. He'd drop anything for me and always checks up on me to see how I am doing! A true blue friend, yet there are specific attributes he possesses which hold me back to bonding with him.
Huge-heart love:
I met my friend's parents and we were off to the airport to pick up the missionary. His family was so excited for his arrival. It was the best airport experience I've taken part in beside my own. Aunt's, Nana, cousins, sisters, and both of his parents were there. Funny, as I stood there waiting and watching I thought how much more adrenaline I was experiencing than jumping out a plane the week before. He as as bright as a shiny new penny. I thought how handsome and attractive he looked! Everyone was hugging him and as he said something to me about coming out to the airport-I shook his hand and he looked at me questioningly.
We made it back to his house with his parents and we spent a good hour there going through some mission items he'd sent home. He was so quirky, full of adrenaline and stories, and the Spirit of the Lord. It felt so good to be with him. His family told me I should just hug him, but I didn't feel right about it until he was released. His sister put on a BBQ that we quickly slipped in and out of so that we could rush off to the stake president to have him released. Earlier in the evening someone had asked who I was and Alex quickly answered I was his BFF. It's been along time since I've felt like I've been a mans BFF, with the exception of my brother. I must whole heartedly admit, this title fits well with me and when the Stake President asked who I was, it was a comfortable reply.
He left as a boy who didn't know God, himself, or what he believed. In listening to his testimony before being released, he knows all of the aforementioned items, plus in watching him teach his niece how to play the ukulele last night, he's a master teacher filled with an abundance of love and the self motivation and discipline of a man. A man of God...he's been through the refiners fire and I wonder if I even am worthy to be called his friend, let alone his best friend. Being with him last night made me want to be better, to go back to every principle, embrace every doctrine, and live all application I've ever known to be true in this life. Thus too making me one with my master. I then find myself asking, is not this love? The love that endures the tests of time and the enchanting promise of the eternities?
Side notes of the experience: I noted familial love: sisters, mother, father, nana, in-laws, church associated love, etc.
Committed love:
In a committed relationship there are certain responsibilities, commitments, and unsaid rules to be kept. I've been instructed to grow-up and have taken the leap of faith to enter into a relationship I cannot see the end. I've exchanged heartfelt experiences and tragedies of my life as has he for a requited companionship. One with whom I am attracted and feel safe in his embrace, we think about life in a similar fashion and have had some parallel experiences. Yet I think we may lack the sacrifice and selflessness to make our relationship last. We are both very strong willed and opinionated individuals who have become comfortable with our lives as nothing more than that-individuals. This yields the question, love is more than an emotional, physical, intellectual tie...it is when our spirit cries to another spirit reaching out for the innermost thoughts and intents of our hearts to be joined into one union, one purpose, a oneness with our Maker.
I've decided in passing months, I'm impartial and almost indifferent to love...I've been waiting for some bomb-like feeling. Some huge deliriously happy, stupefying, all encompassing emotion to happen as I surround myself with members of the opposite sex.
I now believe I'm even more confused with my personal research than I ever have been. Yesterday I believe I experienced every form of love:
Friend-like love:
I ate lunch with a friend that when we converse I feel intellectually stimulated, he's very warm, kind and sincere when we spend time together and I know he genuinely cares about me as an individual. He'd drop anything for me and always checks up on me to see how I am doing! A true blue friend, yet there are specific attributes he possesses which hold me back to bonding with him.
Huge-heart love:
I met my friend's parents and we were off to the airport to pick up the missionary. His family was so excited for his arrival. It was the best airport experience I've taken part in beside my own. Aunt's, Nana, cousins, sisters, and both of his parents were there. Funny, as I stood there waiting and watching I thought how much more adrenaline I was experiencing than jumping out a plane the week before. He as as bright as a shiny new penny. I thought how handsome and attractive he looked! Everyone was hugging him and as he said something to me about coming out to the airport-I shook his hand and he looked at me questioningly.
We made it back to his house with his parents and we spent a good hour there going through some mission items he'd sent home. He was so quirky, full of adrenaline and stories, and the Spirit of the Lord. It felt so good to be with him. His family told me I should just hug him, but I didn't feel right about it until he was released. His sister put on a BBQ that we quickly slipped in and out of so that we could rush off to the stake president to have him released. Earlier in the evening someone had asked who I was and Alex quickly answered I was his BFF. It's been along time since I've felt like I've been a mans BFF, with the exception of my brother. I must whole heartedly admit, this title fits well with me and when the Stake President asked who I was, it was a comfortable reply.
He left as a boy who didn't know God, himself, or what he believed. In listening to his testimony before being released, he knows all of the aforementioned items, plus in watching him teach his niece how to play the ukulele last night, he's a master teacher filled with an abundance of love and the self motivation and discipline of a man. A man of God...he's been through the refiners fire and I wonder if I even am worthy to be called his friend, let alone his best friend. Being with him last night made me want to be better, to go back to every principle, embrace every doctrine, and live all application I've ever known to be true in this life. Thus too making me one with my master. I then find myself asking, is not this love? The love that endures the tests of time and the enchanting promise of the eternities?
Side notes of the experience: I noted familial love: sisters, mother, father, nana, in-laws, church associated love, etc.
Committed love:
In a committed relationship there are certain responsibilities, commitments, and unsaid rules to be kept. I've been instructed to grow-up and have taken the leap of faith to enter into a relationship I cannot see the end. I've exchanged heartfelt experiences and tragedies of my life as has he for a requited companionship. One with whom I am attracted and feel safe in his embrace, we think about life in a similar fashion and have had some parallel experiences. Yet I think we may lack the sacrifice and selflessness to make our relationship last. We are both very strong willed and opinionated individuals who have become comfortable with our lives as nothing more than that-individuals. This yields the question, love is more than an emotional, physical, intellectual tie...it is when our spirit cries to another spirit reaching out for the innermost thoughts and intents of our hearts to be joined into one union, one purpose, a oneness with our Maker.
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