While in my youth my life was filled with experiences that made me a child of serious demeanor. I was shy in nature, learned at a young age to work hard and talk less. I was my father's little shadow and learned to have my own ideas and opinions about everything. Until college I was aloof and very reserved about what I thought of this big wide world that has the capacity to envelop all that allow her. When my Dad was no longer around to follow I was at loss for direction, guidance, and friendship. My high school years were those of great trama, struggle, and heartache. Needless to say while most teens rejoice in being with their friends I became even more of a sober individual merely striving to stay afloat in the cell of my circumstance.
Come to Zion...I was offered a way out and came to this beautiful state; where the Saints had previously traveled an exodus to the west and likewise yielded peace and freedom in this same high place in which I currently reside. Logan was a place of awakening and reconciliation to the all that was good and my Spirit yearned to find peace with my Maker. It was here where I came to find Him, my Savior and Elder brother Jesus Christ. Oddly enough I did so in a cemetery running late one evening with a best friend as she reminded me of the Infinite and Healing Power of the Atonement. It was here I felt a great influx of His love and began to see life clearly, since I had been a young child.
I had been given inspiration to know my Father in Heaven, His Son, and My Dad, were all very aware of me and I was filled with an overwhelming desire to make covenants or promises to be with them in His Holy House, a temple of God on earth, just as in ancient times. There are temples on the earth today and they are the means in which we can be with our families again someday...forever with them and all others that are willing to do the work of the Lord and become heirs in the Kingdom of God. I remember my going to church, the great anxiety that accompanied being there with all of my classmates, dorm-mates, teammates, and friends. It literally was a time of great excitement as fruits of the Spirit enter into my life and the recognition and consistant feelings of His association became more constant.
As a small child I recall with absolute clarity singing, "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission," and knowing I would serve a mission when the opportunity came. I was invited to take-out my endowments at 19 years old, feeling entirely inadequate, but having faith God would make up the difference if I did my best in keeping my promises to Him. Despite great familial opposition, I turned in my mission papers 3 months previous to my turning 21. I would be the first missionary to serve in my family and know as a result, all of my posterity will serve missions, for it was a vital change in my existence, progression, and love for the Lord and everything He's created. I LOVED the MISSION and it has literally influenced me everyday since.
The best two years or eighteen months...is a tragic understatement of what could be, "The Best of the Rest of Eternity!" All of the patterns, doctrines, and principles one learns as a missionary has practical application and congruence in progression FOREVER, and therein is a promise any mortal soul can take to the bank, if one's heart, might, mind, and strength is in the work! President Sony, of the Salt Lake City Mission compared service to the Lord of that in a Financial Application. "The Lord has invested in you the whole length of your mission and upon arrival home, He then expects the dividends in return." I know this is true, much like the story of the talents...we are given much and then comes the requirement and accountability for what He's blessed us with the abilities to perform.
Most missionaries serve in countless family wards, well this opportunity I had plus multiple student wards. The family wards taught me about the underlying foundation and structural doctrines and of The Gospel. The rare experience of serving with Young Single Adults taught me the inner workings and unique structure of student wards, religion classes, and institute organizations. In the years during and since the mission I have been placed in circumstances to serve in every capacity a woman can serve and administer in the church on a ward, seminary, and institute level. I have been so blessed I could write endless novels about the experiences I've had in seeing the Hand of the Lord in not only my life, but those of all whom I associate.
This summer I was about an inch away from becoming a Mrs. Sarah verses a Miss Sarah. For clarification purposes, I mean, the temple reservation, the ring, the dress, the reception hall, the wedding luncheon planned, etc... Man oh man, what a wake up call to find out it wasn't the right thing for eternity, but the right thing for the moment. My 1st, Mission President Funk promised, "If you live that you may have The Spirit of the Lord with you, He will allows warn you before you could make a wrong choice." I would do it all over again to get the closeness that I feel with my family.
This experience has brought my family all so much closer, maybe even my own personal desire to be closer to them as well. This past summer I've grown closer to my brother as he's gone through a heart wrenching divorce. I've relied on him for brotherly wisdom as I struggled with the marriage decision and car problems, as he's relied on me for the support and listening and kind ear, sisterly support, and a warm embrace. I felt so honored when he asked me to come and live with him, but my home is here in these gorgeous mountains at this moment in time. He and I shared a bedroom when I was little and we've been best friends ever since.
My elder sister is a detailed, organized perfectionist, and so I asked her to be my maid of honor. This title means so much to her that it has drawn she and I closer and I have spent more time with her family than in the summer previous. Her boys I adore in such a way, I can't imagine loving my very own children in any greater degree. I was given the awesome gift of time to help raise these two young men before my mission and now an additional daughter in the years following. Her eldest, my little Nay-nay, fills me with unquenchable joy and desire to raise children of my own that they may all be such an heritage to the Lord. He started seminary this year and we talk or text a few times every week as he rejoices in being in the scriptures and taking what he learns home to teach, testify, and exemplify by being the only Priesthood holder in his home. He and I have a temple weekend once a month where he comes to stay a day or two and we bring our family names to the temple to stand in as proxy for their baptisms and confirmations. I wish anyone that belittles the youth in the church could meet those whom I've met. They love the Lord and He knows exactly who they are working towards becoming.
My lil sis and I have been close our whole lives, even when we may not have wanted to be. There was never a distance that could separate us. I wrote her as much as I did my mother from the mission field and she has been the most rewarding evidence of true principles understood changes behavior for both she and myself individually, I've seen yet in my life. She's my life line and even though we are very different in personality, our hearts are the same in loving God and our family into eternity. She's so fantastic and I go to her house to feel the closeness of home. In her there's a workout buddy, my crafty consultant, homeopathic nurse, and the latest and greatest on information in the political realm.
Then my magnificent mother...who next to my Master, has been my sincerest source of succor and support. Oh my heart aches for those without mothers! We talk/text everyday and she has consoled, encouraged, and exhorted, in the very distresses in my souls deepest darkest chasms. There is the saying, "God couldn't be everywhere so He made mothersW" Well that's how I feel, yet know God really can be everywhere. She's encourages me on my flight home from Neverland knowing as do I, I've had my last night in the nursery. Sometime this season I will be waking up, yawning from my slumber, and stretching my arms high into the air ready to embrace the warmth and welcoming invitation to make the covenants with my sweetheart in the House of our God.
than we've been right when I came home from the mission.
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