It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

'Tis true I have been reading the Tale of Two Cities-the soul filled classic about the French Revolution. As in countries when political issues are strewn about in a mess and people that reside therein are in turmoil to settle; we too can be in personal unrest within our own countries or even more intimate, within our very souls.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way (part of the first paragraph, A Tale of Two Cities, Dickens)."

How often do we feel like this in our own personal lives? I know when a trial comes to us or an opportunity for growth comes, I initially see how unfair it may seem and then cause I can't stand misery strive to find the joy in the journey I am embarking upon. What lessons am I to learn from this experience? Are there things I could have done to endured in a way more pleasing? How to apply the lessons, moving forward that I may not need to endure a similar experience or obtain the humility that I am open to passing through it again. I see the great wisdom and love for life in the above quotation. Dickens is striving to open our eyes to the sometimes harsh realities of the soul.

Heavenly Father delivers the righteous desires of our hearts with counterparts to allow for balance and humility, that we may obtain the attributes He has and likewise desires for us. I've been reflecting on my summer and how I can easily see things as Dickens-the good amongst the bad and then live every day with a broader perspective and keep an open mind that I love as my Master loves others, regardless of the ultimate outcome.

I was really struggling about a month ago, I'd been given a job I had been working toward for the past two years. It should have been ridiculously thrilled and overjoyed at the opportunity that lie before me to teach high schoolers who they are and give them a glimpse of whom they can choose to become! Instead I allowed myself to be distracted, and in all honesty I was having the best time of my life. I hadn't laughed or smiled that much since I was a missionary. I was allowed the chance to feel like this because I took all form of judgement and through it out the window. I paid no attention to seemingly red flags and what others in this world may have thought or said about my circumstance. Until I found myself speaking to another about it. I allowed the ignorant judgements of this man to stomp out my heart and many acquisitions of the Christ-like characteristics I'd been working toward.

I acted impulsively upon his requests and despite the mantic impressions I'd already noted, I went forward with his direction and began the experiment invited me to perform. Now I've been in countless labs for both biology, chemistry, and psychology. By far this was the biggest failure and most toxic I've ever conducted-all because people and more importantly their hearts were involved. I met back with him and reviewed the flaws in his experiment. He had been given more information at this time from his family, gotten to know my strength in spirit, and stood corrected on the altered his stance on some council given. Now it is seemingly to late. The experiment an absolute flop, people left off worse than before, and irreversible damage done.

In the meantime, I was given the opportunity to make new friends, broaden my horizons even more of the ignorance that surrounds me, receive and accept an offer in a second job at the Choir School of the Madeline, and accept a call to work with activation within our young single adult ward as a 1st councilor in the Relief Society. It's either feast or famine in life. God knows I do best when I'm broken that He may take me by the hand and give me answers to my prayers. We cannot become who we are meant to be while focussing inward. We must look outward and be anxiously engaged in serving that hands that hang down. It is the best of times, it is the worst or times when we set our focus as such!

Faith-The Choice is Yours

You don't lose at life until you quit.

A facebook friend had this as a comment the other morning when I woke up on my news feed. I thought, "true statement," and went on with my day hoping he is doing better. The comment made me think, his attitude was in the right place-90% of life is attitude and 10% is what happens to you in life.

This made me think of many other coined phrases I believe to be true and run along the same line, "It isn't over until it's over," "Life is what you make of it," and "When there's a will there is a way!" I had a few habits in high school I desperately tried kicking, when I would ask my friends for their support and encouragement I remember many of them would tell me, "Quitters never win," or they would just tell me it was hopeless to try and change anything. Now almost ten years later I have altered my life in such a way I am who I've always wanted to be, working towards my dreams, and recognizing nothing will stop me or hold me back except those I give the power to do so.

I thought about how I've been able to keep a positive attitude through my trials and test of my faith and integrity. I haven't always been lil miss sunshine (however, it was a childhood nickname.) My freshman year I remember walking home from Chem Lab with my partner and him stopping me in the street and saying don't you ever have anything positive to say? It blew my mind and I instantly recognized Brock's comment as being reality. I could be such a downer and it was my choice. After that year I moved off campus, attended a different ward, hung out with a more mature crowd, and started preparing to serve a full-time mission. My heart began to change and I started seeing how we can sometimes be a victim of circumstance, but we never need to be a victim of attitude. My perspective went from being dealt a hand to making my hand, being given lemons and making lemonade, or my personal favorite, " Seeing the glass half full.

There is a brand of hippie-wear I fell in love with in the last area of my mission, "Life is Good." I became such a big fan because the little slogans are true and happy symbols of positivity paired with a fun picture. Some of my favorites are, "Not all who wander are lost (with a pair of sandals)," or "Breakfast in Bed (a sleeping bag, a skillet, and campfire). More than anything, I bought into the ideal that no matter what, when all is said and done, Life really is Good!

What are 5 good things in your life? What are 5 things you can do to make someone else's life better? Why is it important to remember Life really is Good?

I took my lil HenHen bowling last week after he worked on summer schoolwork for 2 hours. Poor guy, my heart was hurting for him! He was such a trooper and kept pulling though in his journalling. Regardless, Hen has a hard time letting others win at games, not being upset about winning, and then when things don't completely go his way he wants to "throw in the towel" and be done. Well if I let him go on in such a way, he will have a less productive school year, won't make as many friends, and life will seem a little more dark and gloomy than his Asperger's already presents it to be at times. I won't have that-life is already challenging!

I pre-cursed bowling by telling him I would most likely beat him at bowling. I gave him the advantage/choice of bumpers, a lighter ball, and even first go. During the game we focused on sportsmanship and how even if he didn't knock down any pins we could still give each other high-fives, have a good attitude, and keep moving forward in the game. He did better than I thought he would at losing. He loathes losing and seemed to brush it off quite well, we talked about our actual scores after each frame and in the first three frames he was winning, but I knew once I felt the spin come into my throw, it was over. I was overwhelmingly impressed with how well Hen went with going with the flow (as he calls it). Not only did he embrace his loss, but he was able to find joy in the journey, and said within seconds of leaving the parking lot, "That was a really fun game, thanks for taking me!"

How often do we thank our creator for the incredible ride we call life and His assistance in our ability to keep a proper outlook and eternal perspective? I hope to be more like Henry and an aforementioned other's opinions on the span of life and find the gratitude in remembering taking it one day at a time and making it can be refreshingly invigorating!

I found my Christmas pickle shattered to smithereens this evening and felt quite dismal as I thought about how that was one of my prized tangible possessions from my mission. I don't normally get sad about things, but this had memories attached, my first Christmas in the mission field, Leavenworth's amazingness, and time with Tiff Brown. Then a few hours later instead of thinking on the dismal I thought of taking Fall break and talking my darling companion into going back to the mission for a trip for-it made the pickle busting not seem so bad after all! Plus proves my theory, you can find something positive in anything...that's right anything! It's called the glad game-thanks Polly!

Bridle your passions- a scripture study

o this blog in case you haven't noticed is about thoughts I've had during the day either inspired by my scripture study or just real life situations that turn me to doctrines I've studied. Last night I was swimming with at a buff man's pool and I would like to dedicate this post to him (I've never dedicated a post Wils, just so you're aware how special you are!!). For it was teasing by him that made me come up with the topic for yesterday's doctrine and it's application to life. Thanks for the inspiration and place of peace you provide when you invite us over to swim!! You have no idea how much I love being in water-it's a passion of mine!

I am a very passionate person for those of you who are new friends of mine and maybe not quite gotten to spend enough time with me. My largest passion by far in people-if I can do anything with people, I'm 100% in! I love people-it was a passion I developed as a missionary and it' sone that may even get me into trouble at times. I would much rather spend my time with people that doing anything else; with a close second of anything athletic or outdoors. A few of these passions are: snowboarding, rock climbing, hiking, swimming(Thanks for helping feed the monster Wils!), camping, soccer, sailing, ultimate, softball, volleyball, the list could pretty much go on forever...

This brings me to moments of reflection in my life when I've been driven by passion and pleased the Lord or others whom I love. Alma 38:12 We are blessed in our desires and even our passions that we may build His kingdom and establish Zion-this is where the passion for me fellowman comes from. The prophet Joseph taught, "A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race." I love God and hence He's filled me with this passion to love His children and want to take an active involvement in each of their lives. James 5:17 We are all subject to passions-it all about what we do with them, if we use them for good like Elias or if we allow them to be detrimental to our progression. What are you doing with your passions? How can you use them to build the kingdom?

Despite popular conversations I don't read my scriptures all day, just for part of it and even then there is a balance or a bridle. I may be a nerd for it, but I love what I love because I have a desire and innate ability/talent to "devour" the scriptures and then assist others in finding the same love for them I have acquired through their study. Where are you in your personal scripture study and what can you do to make them more effective, spiritual, and a blessing to your day? Figure it out and make it a little bit better than yesterday!

And then there was light

This evening as I was sitting back between friends watching the fireworks in the night sky I sat reflecting on what attracts us to light(s). There are always audible comments made about the fluorescence, sparkling, and breath taking glory of fireworks as they are displayed in their grandeur. I sat thinking about the countless fireworks I sat and viewed sitting next to my dad as a girl and into my early teens. It was something we thoroughly enjoyed together. Why did we love them so much? What makes us ooh and ah in the spectacularity of the moment?

I was brought to remember a talk given by Elder Uchtdorf on light in the 2006 Christmas devotional. He taught how we are naturally attracted to light, hence all of the lights at Christmas time and the warm glow they produce, which we are naturally drawn towards. As I sat and thought back to his words I reflected on how the things I love usually have something to do with light. My favorite season is summer-you can feel the glow of the sun on your skin and for me it warms my soul, it makes plants grow, it rotates the earth, there are so many things the sun does with His light.

Then I started thinking how people actually possess light, this light is made manifest through the soul. In ways like our smiles and the sparkle that gleams in our eyes and overall countenance. We are attracted to all kinds of light, yet we must be careful for much of the light the world tries to force on us, is temporary and will not bring the lasting light of Christ. Thinking of the brightest places of instant gratification in this world, those lights will fade out and we will be left with nothing except a void. How easy for me it would be to get sucked in and watch a bright screen of TV as one after another movie is watched, hours spent playing video games, or even too much time spent doing things of no worth on the computer. We must manage our time well that we may in turn fill our souls with lasting light. It is so easy to do, if we are not careful and I see nothing wrong with any of these activities on occasion as long as they are done in moderation and in order. May we find the light and fill ourselves with His-the kind that lasts, that fireworks may burn deep within our souls!

It really is all about the HEART

In recent weeks I've found myself questioning if I do put my heart too much into things and not enough logic or mind in what I think, say, and do. After much reflection and study I've concluded this to be completely and utterly false! Yesterday was the icing on the cake for me as I studied in the morning the words of Nephi in the fourth book, first chapter.

He teaches about the condition of the people and repeatedly about their hearts, "Surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God." Why were these people so happy? "There was no contention in the land." Why was there no contention in the land? "Because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people."

Within 16 years after these statements were declared Iniquity began to abound exceedingly. Why? "Because of the power of Satan who did get hold upon their hearts." The chapter goes on to relay the message of the people's hearts hardening regardless of the miracles performed by the three Nephites, Christ left to minister among them. What keeps our hearts soft, supple, and full of faith in His redeeming love like the three Nephites and other covenant keeping members of the church? "By the power of the word of God, which was in them." Gatorade used the slogan, "Is it in you?" Now I ask you as I've been asking myself? Is it in you, but I'm not meaning some thirst quenching Gatorade. Is the power of the word of God in you; enough that your heart is changed and that you no longer have a disposition to do evil, but to do good continually(Mosiah 5:2)?

That sums up my weeks of questioning and wondering if it is all about your heart. If we want to be the happiest and most righteous people under the heavens there are 10 references given in the standard works which truly testify it is all about your heart!

Deuteronomy 11:13

Deuteronomy 13:3

Joshua 22:5

1 Samuel 12:20

1 Samuel 12:24

Jeremiah 29:13

Joel 2:12

Mormon 9:27

Doctrine and Covenants 4:2

Doctrine and Covenants 11:19

All about your HEART by Mindy Gledhill

The Ultimate Game

Last night after FHE I was invited by some guys to play some ultimate at Sunnyside. I love ultimate with a passion, much like soccer one runs up and down the field making passed with the "bee" to other teammates with the total allowance of three steps while in possession. My roomie and friend, hadn't played until last night. In teaching her how to play the game I found myself become extremely prideful and competitive. With two busted thumbs it's a little on the rough side to throw and catch (they were throbbing by the time the game was over). My point is...I taught my friend to play and even though her throwing is much less than par her teammates made up the difference, catching her crazy passes and throwing her short and precise tosses. They made her look like a freaking all star and man was my ego killing. I could run circles around her, which you're supposed to do in order to block passes and catches. I found myself striving to aggress and intimidate the very being I was trying to teach and love.

Half-way through the game I could feel the monster of competition building inside me and I was debilitated at the fact I'd taught this chic to play and now she was trying to kick my trash-I could literal feel she and my pride in collision. She's been the learner most times along the way, but last night as I got ready for bed I recognized the roles had been reversed for the evening and I was to learn not to be a prideful jerk and be fine with those I teach excelling and doing better than I can even do at times. After all isn't this the whole purpose in teaching and obtaining various forms of glory? Oh wretched woman that I am..sometimes my heart exclaimeth...why can't I just be better than I am?

Damned if I do and damned if I don't

What does it mean to be damned? I grew up thinking it meant one was going to purgatory or hell. I have come to appreciate the saying more this year than I have in my life. I'm an optimist through and through, yet in recent weeks I've felt totally deserted and more confused than ever before. I have my dream job-teaching seminary, dream location of living (a garden, close walk to the U, friends in the neighborhood, a best friend for a roommate, best ward ever), a sister here in SLC w/ two darling kidos and a doggie, another job working at MCS with a my darling Hen, my health is a billion times better than last summer and I'm enjoying hiking, camping, sports, running, and even getting back into biking this summer! I'm working towards my life's dreams and goals again! On paper life is ridiculously great and yet I am left feeling unsatisfied-like there is something out there I am missing.

I think the last time I felt like this was when Mick came home early from his mission and his Bipolar had taken over how he viewed others and even perceived himself. I had put my whole heart into serving him, his family, and him doing well on his mission. It flopped and I recognized I wanted nothing to do with any of it after a month or two, but the pain I felt was that of the most exquisite heartache. It was the perfect distraction-him serving a mission allowed me to magnify an institute calling, care for my g'pa, learn to not set my heart on the things of this world, and grow in ways I could barely comprehend at the time. Yet, I remember feeling the same way-damned if I do and damned if I don't!

I am left to ponder upon the words of a pseudo father, "Sarah whatever you do you will do it well; I've never seen you do something you haven't put your whole heart into. It is really all about your heart. When your heart is His, He will use you time and time again. People ultimately feel the goodness of Him in you and they wanted to remember His love in their lives. The downfall I've experienced is getting a big head about it and floating away in personal arrogance and pride. I am no better off than the Nephites of old as they thought they knew better than He who created them.

I had a dream this past weekend where what I personally wanted wasn't in alignment with what the Lord wants. This guy I know and I were on missions, he in a three-some and I in a companionship with my companion going home. As she and I waited for her parents to come and pick her up, she slept on the couch and I went to study. He and his companions shared our pad and for some reason I went to hug him and he pushed me away with the arms length line, holding his ground. This was followed up by him stating, "You and I are serving different missions here." I was so bummed I took my books and went to study by myself in the bathroom. Slightly random, yet I don't ever dream, but when I do they are vivid and I remember almost every color hue, persons face, and other details. I woke up having a greater understanding, what I wanted from this young man wasn't what he was supposed to give me at this time.

I'll I'm really seeking is for salvation and exaltation. Knowing the tender mercies of the Lord, I'm going about it the wrong way, looking in the wrong places, or in the wrong time. I'm still unsure which, but am certain of one thing-when the stars aren't aligned or in reality when His will and ours aren't aligned accordingly, with patience and long-suffering, we may be led to feel damned and this is a not-so-nice feeling. It makes me want to bust out in rage and divine discontent and say, "Why Lord, what would you have me do? I know what I was supposed to have done differently. May we move on to part two?" I'm satisfied to know I am in intermission, haven't been forsaken, and yet I've gotten the popcorn and soda and just feel as though I am sitting here unduly impatient waiting for the previews to be over and the movie to start.

MIA

How often do we find ourselves missing in action? What kind of action may I be making reference too? The kind of action that makes life better for those around us-building, laying foundations, loving, and yes most of this requires great effort, work, and sacrifice of what we may want at any given time in our lives.

A week ago BpB got up and said people are given callings to do the things otherwise they may not be so compelled to do. It struck a cord with me and I thought-I have the best calling in the world-teaching-something that comes so naturally to me I could almost do it in my sleep. It's a God given talent and I recognize it as such and 100% grateful. This calling wasn't really stretching me and I find myself sinking into complacency and some forms of mediocrity. I need to be my best self and am really struggling in finding anything to motivate me to be this right now. It's a horrible feeling and I get down on myself even more for experiencing it. Something was brought to my attention a few weeks ago and even more so this very afternoon:

In sacrament this guy got up to speak-pretty sure he is the ward mission leader and everything he said resonated with me so strongly and I felt a strong desire to shake off the dust and stand up for many truths I've been pondering upon the past couple of weeks. I've been thinking a lot about words of a living Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, " Converts need: a friend, a calling, and to be nurtured by the good word of God." He delivered this message in a leadership meeting I attended as a full time missionary in Spokane Valley. The powerful impact has never wandered from the still confines within my soul. Each of us within His church is a convert in one form or another. We all have ups and downs in our testimony, in our obedience, and in our faith. We all rely on the same being for our grace, mercy, and salvation. Likewise we all rely on fellow Saints to lift the hands of those that hang down. Haven't your hands ever hung down? Who was it that came and took you by the hand and became the answer to your prayers?

I was thinking about how we don't need more programs, we need more love, more goodness, more selflessness, and more courage. Meaning courage to do all of the small things, smile and say hello when you pass by others, encourage your roommates or neighbors to get involved in their visiting/home teaching, magnify their calling (to get one if they don't have one), pray, read the scriptures, render service, attend the temple, pay tithing/offerings, participate in Family Home Evening, the list goes on...the list that leads one to happiness in this life and eternal life in the next. If everyone were happy around each other, there would never be insecurity-only hope, love, and faith.

It's amazing how we can feel God's love in such simple and yet miraculous ways! I have friends and family that believe in everything from none to multiple to worldly Gods and yet I know He can somehow reach into their hearts and pull them closer to Him through us-anyone who wants to be a tool (in the nicest of context). It's all about the seemingly little things: a text message, a smile, a hug, words of encouragement, and the list goes on...Once we are converted, go...

What are you doing for someone else to help them feel of His love?

Do you invite others to come with you to activities?

Are you attending the activities yourself?

Where do you hold your daily scripture study?

Is your relationship to the Father manifest in your prayers?

When do you attend the temple and give of other service?

What can you do to forget about your life and give it to those around you?

When you lose your life for His sake then you will find it!

Echo Canyon

Thursday evening my roomies and some friends went up to a cabin in the middle of the forest for some well deserved respite! What a glorious weekend it was! Not only did we get to spend time away from the rush and fast paced life we live in the city, but time actually escaped us pretty much all together. We stayed up late enjoying each others company with no power whatsoever and slept in later than I can remember doing, probably since the last time I was devastatingly ill. Friday we would have lost track of time all together except some more of our friends we coming up to stay and we needed to start dinner for them. We'd spent the whole day just playing, lounging, studying, and getting to know each other even better! It was awesome and for the first time since I was in elementary I stopped wearing a watch around my wrist. I am usually lost without it, but I'm testing out doctrine taught by Elder Maxwell, we are complete strangers to the earthly concept of time. This weekend proved it to me-we driven by the concept of time due to our cultures and competitive world. We push and we push ourselves and for what to fit more time in the day, week, or month.

This past week has taught me to embrace each new moment, pay attention to whom I'm with and give them my undivided attention. Quality time is so much better than quantity time. Listen and focus on those you are around, don't be distracted by the business of life or the technology that may frequently surround us. When I came home from the mission I refused to get a cell phone for the longest time. Once I did, I would leave it home with me as though it were a land line. I did the same on this trip, we didn't have service anyway and when I got home there were 17 missed calls and plenty of missed texts-slightly bordering on phone insanity. This yields me the amazing realization that I don't need my phone as often as I've convinced myself I do. In fact when I am with my family for Sunday dinner, anyone close to me knows I leave it either at home or in the car. Family time is precious-there isn't enough to begin with and I am not going to sacrifice that for anything else.

The pressures we place upon ourselves with always being available and accessible to everyone and their dog. As we drove home this evening I felt a sense of renewal, love, self, and overwhelming calmness. We clutter our lives with so much and then wonder why people have breakdowns, are all hyped up on anti-depressants, or even ulcers so prevalent in our lives. If we focused more on what we do with our time: with whom we talk, serve, love, play, or even give of ourselves, we would find an overwhelming amount of fulfillment. I was thinking about why I love the thing I do, whether it's hiking, climbing, boarding, biking, running, walking, fishing, singing, etc...it all boils down to-with whom I am doing what I'm doing.

Why do we spend our time in doing that is of little or no worth? If we aren't working on furthering or nurturing a relationship with another child of God, is it worth the time we invest? I will boldly declare, if it doesn't help another in one way or another, it is not worth our time, effort, or self. We are to be builders for that is why we've been saved for this time. To deny the distractions of this world and look forward to a much better world. As much as I love technology, it can be to our detriment. May we do all we do out of our deep love for Him, thanks for the time away and the natural beauties found therein.

Earthly Education…a large serving of humble pie.

In institute I was reminded how this life it a time to prepare, not only to meet God, but moreover striving to do all we can to become like him. I was brought to a visual picture of the earth being our classroom and, the good Lord, the teacher. We can either excel in this life, doing well with our experiences, or continually having Him say redo across the top of our assignments and then back to the drawing board until we get it right. His grading system is perfectly just and full of mercy, endless amounts of do-overs until we get out of it what we need in order to obtain the qualities of a saved being.

Recently some harsh lessons I’ve been learning are in large part for my own personal humility. I find myself willing to take the hand of others or even allowing them to carry me, both in the mental and physical sense of context. I’ve always been the one caring for all of those around me- my sisters, brother, grandparents, and friends. I’ve always been placed in the situation to be the strong one and not really allowing others to serve me. My roommate is the best example of service I’ve ever known and a few exceptional others placed around me. Her dad is one of the handymen around the house and comes to town and takes us to dinner. Lace reads me better than any female I know, it’s such a blessing to have someone to open up to and trust.

I had a mentor type example placed in my life the beginning of May and he is very abrupt and blunt in our conversations and I love him for his constant care, critical council and adamant advice. He teaches me straight and undiluted, he sees me as his daughter and treats me as such. BpB doesn’t take my crap and makes faces at me in front of his cohorts and colleagues, slightly obscene gestures for a public figure, but that’s alright since everyone watches everyone else anyway. He watches me at activities and then encourages me to keep being an assertive member of my community and lifting the hands that hang down. What a great blessing in my life!

Another is the chance I’ve had to open up my heart! My best guy friend, we’ll call him CC for short, taught me trust like I’ve never known, or at least not in the past 16 years of my life! He was so open and honest with me upon the beginning of our friendship, it’s taught me it literally hurts the heart to be that open, but when all is said and done, there aren’t really any regrets from it! He’s taught me to be absolutely alright with my open dirt surfing hippie self, less judgmental of others and their circumstances and to embrace awkwardness. There is so much good mixed in with the tragedy and innocent suffering of life. He’s helped me have greater compassion and love for my fellowman and in breaking down my walls I’ve found the greatest amount of love in my heart for him. I’ve found I am really good at being rude, mean, and generally unkind when I feel vulnerable and in allowing me the blessing of sincerest love, it leaves me wide open for absolute tragedy and the vastest vulnerability I’ve ever been placed in. Since this recognition has occurred I’ve begun trying to implement more proactivity versus reactivity in my life.

We are here to act and not be acted upon. My goal for the rest of the year is to be Proactive, not reactive: And Sarah suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. It’s a tall order to fill, but as I pray for it-all things are possible with His help! After the best teachers give you what you need when you really need it.

Duct tape your mouth shut!

Tonight at softball-I was catcher and also played third base, getting at least three outs and stopping two runs. We ended our winning streak and I lost it on the EQP tonight as he was criticizing my batting strategy from behind the fence. Funny thing...he strikes out at least once a game and I've never have as of yet, I've always made the runs, just wait for the right pitch to give me the time to make it to first and maybe round to second. I'm an encouraging and supportive player to all of our teammates and even at times the opposing team members. The last two weeks I've been catcher because I've been running in the morning and my shoes are to small giving me more blisters with every passing day (today I did 5.4 miles in flip flops and still got a blister!) After I took a base for my waiting on the pitchers 3 balls, I went back and threw the bat at the fence towards the EQP (I had a runner, who can't bat and were the perfect pair cause running on dirt in flops isn't my fave). He was grinning at me and I let him have it more than I've let anyone have it in years. I told him, "He better shut his mouth, cause next week I'd be bringing duct tape and I'd be using it if I heard anything critical out of his face!" Bp was standing right next to him and nothing was said, just glances of seriousness exchanged.

I don't get why people here associate callings with capability or capacity. In church on Sunday, the spirit testified to me the reason I needed to be called as Relief Society President is because God places us in callings to teach us skills and attributes we may not gain any other way. Not that we are amazing or spectacular saints being called to positions of grandeur or aspiration, He calls us in our weakness and qualifies us for the work. If we all acted out of our own free will and accord to the best of our ability there would be no formal need for callings in the church. We are all just the little guys, no calling in the church is better than another. It's some whacked Utah status quo to have this or that calling...wild!

Regardless of who said the comments for there were others sassing players, and here I am sassing Andrew, maybe he had a hard day at work and I should have responded to him with empathy and love? I know I should have... however it brought me to a further reflection of what's been on my mind most of the day-a need to be proactive and not reactive to life's happenstances. Covey covers this in his literature and I know it to be true. Positivity, encouragement, and charity are the way to others feeling God's love through us. We need to always strive to lift where we stand and be builders of the kingdom. Not build up personal walls to keep us safe, but if we have a focal point on building others up, in turn the Lord elevates us to a higher plane than we can yet comprehend. This is where the principle of forgetting yourself and going to work comes into play...I will bring duct take next week, but I will most likely use it, asking Andrew to tape my mouth that I remain positive and proactive and for anyone else in need. Better yet maybe to tape my flops to my feet so I can run the bases in them!

Validation and Bouncing on the Bed

Tonight at dinner we discussed a short movie called Validation. It's incredible to recognize how influential the validation of others can be. Interesting enough, we have those in our lives who increase our self-worth by their kind words, recognition, and love. We can either chose to be those people of incredible impact or not. The choice is ours for the taking! Sometimes we do all we can to uplift and edify another person directly, yet try as we may, we lose the light at the end of the tunnel and ultimately lose hope. No matter what, no kind deed, word, or thought is ever wasted as Charity never faileth!

TJ Thymes is amazing in this short film with his heart-felt message of love, smile, and hope. I love his soothingly satisfying sounding voice, fantastically fun fusion of hair, breathtakingly bright blue eyes, and the enduring endearment of his character.

This is a must see:

Validation

This being said I must admit the highlight of the evening was bouncing on Mike's amazingly soft bed. Although I think everyone was in shock at my follow-through. When I said I wanted to bounce on the bed I meant it! Previous to my jumping we piled 5 chics on his Tempur-Pedic queen mattress and pillow-top. Then I politely asked them to leave so that I could jump in the bed in my dress. Thanks guys for allowing me my childish requests of innocent fun! Will you please post pictures so I can add them to this blog. :o)

Nothing to Fear Except Fear Itself

Yesterday a bunch of us went to Lagoon, another estro fest, and had a great time! One of the objectives of my day was to assist my friend in overcoming her fears. She's one of the "best sports" I know-always up for anything and wanting to try new and exciting things. One of my true adventure buddies, a majority of the time she possesses the world's best attitude! Our lovely Lace is horrified of heights and in passing weeks, I've remembered my own initial fear of climbing and activities of greater altitude-how I initially embraced my fear and now it is something I dabble in the excitement thereof. In my youth, I overcame it by riding the chair lifts, high school cliff jumping off the 30 and 90 footers at Cave Point into Lake Michigan, in college it's been snowboarding, bungie jumping, and parasailing. Regardless your more intense fears can be holding one back from their grandest adventures or happinesses.

In Lace's case, you resolve the concern or issue previous tho throwing her into the lions den. Her faith must be increased to the point there is no room for doubt. Or to teacher her it is her own conscious decision to entertain her fears in heights. It's not rations, it's not beneficial to her longevity and joy (well maybe in the survival of the fittest, but besides the humanistic approach)-I won't be able to take her climbing or boarding this year if she can't face her fear of heights. We worked towards this outcome yesterday and I feel as though we made some very good headway. She made a statement yesterday and I woke up this morning with gratitude and more of a recognizable reliance on some of the gifts I've been given. She said in moments right after the embrace of her fears, "You know it's the Spirit that makes you so good at helping others face their fears and getting over them!"

I concede and would want it no other way. When the Spirit is the teacher, lessons are learned and an indelible impression is made on the mind of the learner to change needed behavior or mind set on a more permanent basis. I find her statement to be of the most absolute worth-my ability and willingness to teach through the Spirit is key in this life. My love, passion, and willingness to do my best to stay worthy of His companionship set me up to use this talent in a much needed capacity. As Elder Uchtdorf pointed out in last conference, "We live well below our means." Many of us have made covenants in this life to dine at the shmorgas board of absolute delicacy and what do we do as individuals with these blessings? Indeed, we need to "get off the sidelines and practice what we preach (or know/believe)."

So the story goes...our dear Lace our first ride of the day was Blast-off and then throughout the afternoon we took the Gondola a few rides where we practiced giving in the control and safety mechanisms we mentally exert to keep us from our fears. Then the very end rides of the day were Re-entry and Blast-off! We practiced and focused on vicarious living-observing others let go of their fears, their underlying reason for doing so, and what joy can come from this journey of embracement. True doctrine was taught as we were able to talk about how much fear and joy oppose each other! Where doubt and fear are...faith and joy cannot be! They are the counterparts of each other and if we are to experience the Heaven's good for us we need to be willing to expel doubt and fear that we may obtain her costliest blessing! Fantastic job Lacey in being faithful and believing and helping me remember the dependance on the Lord for some of His blessings to me!

This also made me think of another experience when one of my best friends went up to Bear Lake for the weekend, to camp out, recreate in nature, and go boating. The only hold up is he was afraid of water...I can't remember how much time he spent in the water that weekend, but I recall a group of our friend took out Trace's boat and eventually he took up the courage to get in the water. He didn't get his feet wet, but fully immersed himself in his fears, embraced them, and was filled with joy! I can only now, in retrospect see how that day has impacted his life for good as he too has made covenants and been filled with a capacity to help others do the same! I'm so honored to have spent so many years with you and look forward to our lasting friendship-based on truth and honesty.

Virtual Reality

As an instructional designed for the Corporation of the President one of our goals was to make training for the people around the world as interactive as possible. The more hands-on a training is the better and more cognitive the experience for the learner. This is one of the highest goals for the training user experience. During my three years of working here I was able to attend a lecture series given by some of the top instructional designers in the nation. One of them used the computer program, Virtual Life in their presentation. It was what we thought was on the extreme side of the conference as he showed how we could have our meetings, trainings, and team building experiences as a virtual experience.

This being noted, I felt quite validated in cutting myself off from pretty much all video games after attending a fireside given by Elder Bednar in May of 2009:

http://lds.org/liahona/2010/06/things-as-they-really-are? lang=eng&query=bednar+virtual+reality

One of my favorite parts of his teachings was reference to those of Joseph Smith, “We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man, and when cast out by the Savior he asked to go into the herd of swine, showing that he would prefer a swine’s body to having none. All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not."

This talk made an influence on me that I am still grateful for to this day. I do my best to be doing something productive with my time and about the only time I will make the exception for video games is for positive interaction, time on-line to further relationships with friends and family, or teaching and recording purposes, such as this blog.

Last night I had an awesome experience with playing on the XBox with friends! I occasionally enjoy Rock Band and Guitar Hero, I love singing, and rocking out on the guitar, the bass, and playing the drums very much. Dance Dance Revolution and Just Dance are other games I enjoy, but last night I played two games that take the cake...literally I could play them with friends frequently and not feel bad about it. Maybe because they're sports and some of the guys were actually sweating by the end of their turns! Awesome-XBox Kinect Dance and Kinect Sports. Boxing, sprinting, javelin, ping-pong, hurdles, bowling, beach volleyball, discus, etc, and then dancing was more fun to watch others and cheer them in getting their grooves on!! Such a great time and refreshing change of mind-all thanks to our gracious hostesses-Natalie and Ariel!!! Love you both!